First Comes Love Eternal
by Lace Kyoko
Summary: Loryn, free of Seto's monstrous sex drive, is on her own at last. But alas! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a... Wait, somebody messed the order up! Baby comes after marriage! Right!
1. Prologue

**I'm back y'all! With the SEQUEL to Forever and Beyond! This lovely little number was made with tender love and care. This could not have been done without the input of my newest fanfiction friend Miko Hayashi! Pay her a visit! She's quite nice to talk to. :3 She really helped me with this, since I had no idea where I was going to go with the sequel. But after many texts and emails, I was able to sort through my confusing thoughts and was able to poop this out! XD This is going to be one hell of a ride as far as fanfiction goes! Thanks Miko for the help! You really inspired and motivated me. :)**

**If you love this, you'll love Forever and Beyond! Wait, I think I have that backwards... Well, if you're reading this first, I implore you to read FaB as well. Otherwise, you'll be hella confused. Disclaimer: I clearly don't own Yu-Gi-Oh but I do own my story. Don't steal.**

As I watched butterflies swirl around the hypnotic scent of marigolds, I leaned against the balcony railing and looked into the sky. Small, nimbus clouds lolled across the clear, blue sky. I saw a passenger airplane soar through those clouds. I wondered if _he _was on the flight. It was clearly a possibility since that particular company was coming out with some new technological device, but I looked away anyway and sighed.

A part of me regrets leaving _him_, but the other part that dominates rejoices in the fact that I am completely free. Free to take any job I want, pay any bill I want, and get evicted…

Yeah, maybe using _his _unlimited credit card was a bad idea. I figured he would have cut me off. He did. And now I can't pay the rent for this condo-type place.

The newest addition to my life, the apartment I had bought with an unlimited credit card that Seto had given me (under his name, I might add) was lovely. Thick, luscious red carpet hugged my feet as I walked around the living room. The furniture was contemporary, and was shades and hues of reds and oranges. The walls were white. My personal room was in different shades of green and blue, the walls being a light turquoise and the border being light chartreuse. The carpet was a deep ocean blue, and a window allowed me to look at the city from a safe height. My kitchenette was yellow and it made cooking a joyous experience. Too bad there was nothing for me to cook. This part of Domino, in the middle of the metropolis, was lovely, but paying the bills was just horrendous.

Beauty is infrequent and expensive, thus I can no longer afford this lovely piece of home.

Even though I lived here for about two days, I was incredibly lonely. I think I could finally understand where _he_ was coming from. Luxury is nice, but being with loved ones is better.

I would like to admit my decision was a mistake, but I don't give up so easily. I need to be away for longer than _two days_ in order to admit I'm a pathetic piece of nothing and need a man in my life.

Packing my bags, I look out at the sky again. The clouds are a bit thicker now, and I know that whatever is in the future will not be easy. I'm about to enter one hell of a hurricane.

**I just realized, the first one starts with storm metaphors. And a real storm. XD Hahaha, that's appropriate.**

**Now, do as Miko Hayashi did and REVIEW! I FREAKING LOVE FEEDBACK! (but no flames. I get it if you're not digging this, but don't be rude. Be polite. :3)**


	2. This Can Never Be a Home

**Wow, since when do I update so fast? Hahaha, I know right? Voila! C'est chapter une! I don't speak French very well do I?**

**I hope everyone enjoyed the prologue. I liked writing it. I also enjoyed writing this. It was an idea I always wanted to write into FaB but I didn't want to mess with it since it was kind of a strange and weird idea. Well, not too weird. It just didn't fit in with FaB's plot very well, though it was mentioned. ;) And now it's here! Hahahaha!**

**Honestly, I'm taking this fic places I've never thought I would take it. Please enjoy it. I'm actually planning ahead with this one. It's not a device for improvisation anymore. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I own my story!**

Chapter 1 This Can Never Be a Home

It's dark, rainy, and the streets smell of thick ozone as the atmosphere throws up its guts and rids itself of anguish. I sit by a double glass door that supposedly leads to a personal courtyard, but the exterior is only a small five by three expanse of concrete with a tall wooden, molded fence. It's empty, kind of like me at the moment.

Thunder resounds through the area. I sit on a gross couch, trying to make sense of the white noise and bad reception from the super old TV. The landlord was nice enough to donate his mother's old TV when she had died. How kind of him.

_The rent is due soon…_ My mind only consists of worries about bills and where my next meal is coming from. True, the rent isn't actually due until the end of the month which is in about a week, but I can't help but be terrified. The agony of possibly getting evicted _again_ terrifies me. I was lucky enough to find this dump. I will never call this home.

Even though I have a pretty steady job at the local grocery store, sacking groceries and sorting items, the pay isn't quite enough to pay the rent, unless I want to starve or live without water. As much as it annoys me, I had to set up an ad at the post office yesterday to attain a roommate to help me pay the rent, or the other bills.

I had hoped that anyone with a steady job would apply. One person did apply within an hour of it being posted. Desperate and terrified, I gave the say-so, and she was supposed to move in tonight.

A knock sounds on my quite disgusting door. It has to be Momo. An image of a beautiful geisha beyond all compare appears in my mind's eye.

_Why did I just think of Hatsumomo from _Memoirs of a Geisha_?_

I sit at the table, old and once the home of termites, seemingly impassive, as I watch my newly found roommate shove the neck of a beer bottle into her very slimy yet crusty vagina. Mind you, I am trying to eat breakfast, which consists of stale corn flakes.

I want to blow chunks. And it's only nine o'clock in the morning!

Let me set the record straight. I do not have any sort of weird fetish. This sort of thing does not turn me on. Momo is highly drunk, very horny and had demanded to put on a show to make my breakfasting entertaining. I refused at first, claiming that nothing could possibly be more entertaining than counting the weevils in one's cereal, but the inebriated bitch threatened she'd cut me. I value my safety, as any sane person should.

I don't know why I had let this woman stay with me. I suppose she is the only person that answered the ad I posted. I never asked, but I ascertained she was a streetwalker. Her choice of clothes would make Mai Valentine blush. Hot pink sequins adorned her top that showed her skeletal yet bloated midriff. Her skirt was hiked above her hips and I had seen more than I wanted to. She wore cheap stilettos. Her hair was a nasty orange color, greasy, and obviously dyed. Her black roots showed greatly. That was my first impression of her, when she showed up with one tiny purse filled with enough money to pay my entire rent for three months. Thankfully, she was amiable enough to offer to pay the rent and other bills when their time was due. She smokes, coughs and hacks up pieces of her lungs constantly, and she looks haggard, but she still has a bit of cuteness left in her. She's attractive for a hooker. And she claims she doesn't do drugs. She is clearly experienced since now the whole bottle is inside her. She bucks her hips as she slides it in and out, moaning gratuitously, and standing on the kitchen counter. The bottle is removed, not a crack in sight. Unsatisfied by the bottle's girth, she shoves her fist in her abysmal orifice. I cringe. No one should be that loose.

But I do not care. She says she'll pay all the rent and other utilities and all I have to worry about is my cell phone bill. Her pimp must give her amazing tips. I don't know; do I look like a hooker to you?

High off her self-give orgasm and her inebriated state, she passes out on the counter, legs wide open. It is clear to me she has at least 3 STDs. I shudder in revulsion and leave. My shift at the grocery store starts in 30 minutes.

Sacking someone's groceries is far more appealing than watching someone "sack" one's self.

On my way to my job, I reminisce on better times, times when I wouldn't have to watch a one-woman strip-tease. I am jealous that my roommate gets more action than me. However, becoming a prostitute is not for me, though I'd probably make more giving blow jobs than sorting eggs and milk. And I doubt using bottles to masturbate is safe.

I was engaged at one point. _He_ was everything, at the time. However, when it came to the point that _he_ was all about sex and I simply wanted compassion and a caretaker, we parted ways. I've heard _he_ was devastated and fired all his female employees, and I believe it. _He'd_ do anything to forget what _he_ lost.

I initiated it. I was not a love toy. It was good, goodness _he_ was good, but it was tiresome and repetitive. I was sick of it. I made us break up. For better or for worse, I haven't decided yet.

I walk every day to my job. It is fairly good exercise and frankly, I am loathe to ride a bus. I am not one for getting up close and personal with strangers and I have issues with people touching me. Of course, when _he _was around, he could have touched me all day long…

My mind derails from my lusty yet depressing train of thought when I see someone I would have known even if we were cryogenically frozen for a thousand years. I see Mokuba.

Tears flood those grey blue eyes, like an ocean suffering from a storm. "Loryn, I've finally found you!" He runs to me, so eager, and tackles me in a life-or-death kind of hug. I am honored to be so greatly missed, even after only five days of being away.

"Hehehe, hey Moky. If you missed me that badly, you could have called. I'm in the phone book now."

He looks up at me, refusing to let me go from his vice grip. "I didn't think of that."

I smile, humbled by his sweet naiveté. "Hahaha, I wouldn't have either. I forget phone books exist actually. How did you find me?"

"Well, the credit card you _technically_ stole from my brother led me to your condo," he mock-glared at me. "I asked the guy at the desk about you, but he said you had been evicted. I asked if he knew where you were planning to look for a new homestead and in this super snobby way, he told me he'd suggested you check out Southwest Domino." He rolled his eyes at the desk clerk's arrogance. "So I took a bus, got off at the stop and just so happened to run into you here."

"You're kidding me. It's seriously just dumb luck?" I am flabbergasted at this chain of events.

"Yep!" He seems so cheerful. Then, he got a little more serious, if not downcast. "So...how are you?"

I truly want to answer him, but I also want to get paid. "I'm fine really, but I need to skedaddle. My job starts in about 15 minutes and I can't be late." I turn as if to walk with purpose, but he stops me. "Yeah, Moky?"

"Do me a favor," he says calmly. "Meet me at that café over there," he points to the newest addition to this rat shit neighborhood, "as soon as you get off, so we can have a serious chat." He lets me go, and heads for the café.

Never in my life had Mokuba been so serious. I couldn't help but think of _him_.

After several clean ups on aisle five and a very angry grandmother claiming I was trying to screw her out of her money, I leave work, looking forward to seeing Mokuba again.

I walk cheerfully along the sidewalk, anxious yet optimistic. This neighborhood was known for its crime, but most of it happened past six o'clock. It was 5:50, according to my watch.

To ease my nerves, I jog over to the café, making it in record time. The café, for now, was a safe place, but the crime that had corrupted this area would soon infiltrate this place too.

Mokuba, sitting quite anxiously in a corner of the café, waves me over, and I gladly come to him. We sit in a booth, the green pleather undamaged by the hooligans residing in this side of town. The walls are crème, with the middle down to the floor being coffee colored wood. The floors are black and white tiles. The barista can be heard making a new patron's drink. The fans above blow cool air along the patrons' bodies, cooling them from the summer heat. Mokuba begins his story.

"Seto is literally going nuts without you." He sips his frappe calmly. "He tries not to show it, but he hasn't slept, he's been gnawing on his finger nails, a habit that was never characteristic of him, he can't sit still for more than ten minutes and he watches the same scene from _The Phantom of the Opera_ over and over again."

"Which scene?" I ask, apprehensive. I knew I had left around the scene where Christine was in the graveyard. Who knew when Seto finally realized I was gone?

He sips some more. "Does it matter? All I know is he woke me up while it was playing in the game room. That's when he told me you were gone." Mokuba seems so cold at this point. He's intimidating.

That cold and calculative matter is not normal of Mokuba. "I've never known you to be quite so methodical Mokuba. You're turning into your brother's former self. And yes it does matter."

He sighs. "I'm just worried… The scene where Christine chooses Raul over the Phantom."

I inwardly smirk to myself, but my eyes widen anyway. It makes complete sense that this would be the scene _he_ would keep watching. _He_ is trying to place _himself_ as the Phantom, me as Christine, and my freedom as Raul. By re-watching it, _he_ hopes to perhaps find a way to make it end differently. By repeatedly watching it though, it only ends with _him_ being more and more dismal.

I sigh. I still have to figure _him_ out even when we're not together. "Moky, you need to tell _him_ to move on…"

"Loryn," he says in this dangerous tone. I'm genuinely frightened, since it's not expected. "You _must_ come home."

_Home…_ The place around me can never be a home. All this crime surrounds me: Drug smuggling, prostitution (I am living with one for crap's sake!), murder, rape, shoplifting, and the occasional shooting.

But the place Mokuba speaks of is only a cage, with nothing but sex and days crying my eyes out to Mrs. Lovett to keep me company. And boredom. Lots of boredom. So much boredom that I had to leave. Even the sex got dull. I needed to be _free_.

"I can't."

Mokuba looks devastated. "You have to. I will do anything." He begins this escapade with the puppy dog eyes.

"No."

"I will buy you candy." Now he's patronizing me. Yet he's younger.

"Um, no."

"A car?" Now he's trying to appeal to my poverty level.

"It's quite tempting but no. I wouldn't need a car if I lived with you all again."

He sighs. "What if…" He looks around for inspiration. None comes to him. He sighs. "I admit: I dated your sister because I thought it'd get me closer to you." I'm not sure how he thought this would make me want to go back with him.

My throat becomes completely dry. "_What?_"

"Yeah I know it's pretty horrible, but I couldn't get over you." I think he sees me about to burst a blood vessel. He randomly interjects with, "I did love her though. Meadow meant the world to me. You happened to mean a little more."

I still couldn't calm myself down, but I manage to say, "Please tell me that you didn't soil my sister in hopes that it would be like being with me."

He looks confused. "What…?" Then realization dawns on him. "OH! No! No no no no no! That's just wrong on every level." He looks away, embarrassed. "I mean, I thought about it, but I didn't want to use your sister like that. I loved her. And I loved you. I'm too nice to do something so diabolical."

I snort. "Yet you aren't nice enough to not think about it." I glare at him, but give it up. "Mokuba, I understand." I sigh. "I can't be mad at you. I just can't go 'home' with you."

He switches seats, now next to me. _A new tactic?_ His hand rests calmly on my thigh. "I will do…_anything…_" He leans in close, his breath sending shivers down my neck. His hand on my thigh isn't so innocent and inches closer to my hip. This kid is trying to come on to me. I am not sure if he thinks this will win me over or if he's mocking me. I'm actually quite confused.

"Mokuba, you're like 14 years old. You can't come on to me. It's illegal."

It doesn't stop him. He moves in closer to my neck. "I'm actually 15," he whispers huskily. I'm praying no one will see this. He really seems to want me. "You're telling me you don't have any shota-con fantasies?"

_Holy Hell, this kid is awful!_ I push him off. "No, I don't." Yeah, he's trying to use sexual favors to win me over now.

He pouts, trying to entice me. I look away. "So you don't miss being plowed by my brother every night? Surely you want some action."

I look at him, aghast. "That's an awful thing to say to me!"

He snickers. "You never said it wasn't true."

I blush. This kid is truly turning into his brother. "Maybe I do miss it, but not every night. It's disgusting to fornicate constantly." I focus on a small chip in the floor. It seems the place is already becoming dilapidated.

He's back at my thigh again, his lips moving softly against my neck. "Let's make a deal."

I stay stock still. "What?"

"If I can please you tonight, will you return?"

"If you can please me… Oh HELL no!" I push him away again.

He laughs. "I won't actually do it. I meant…in other ways."

I look at him, suspicious. "What other ways?"

He is dumbfounded. "I actually don't know. I was hoping you'd tell me." My eyes widen in utter shock. "Look, you know I love you. I want you and I'm jealous that my brother got to have you for an extended period of time. Let me do this. If I can please you with my tongue," he flicks it out like a snake, "then you have to come home with me! For Seto! And if not, then I can go home dejected that I didn't win you over with my tongue but a bit happy that I still got a taste of what Seto had. What do you say?"

"…What do you mean by tongue?"

"I don't know… Making out?"

I sigh. _I was afraid he meant something else… _"If it'll get you off my back…"

"Ha, like Seto never wasn't."

I snap. "Actually, we never engaged in that." My eyes harden, narrow like a snake's. "You seriously want to make out with me?"

He nods.

"Let's go back to my place then. I hope my roommate is gone by now."

The little exchange between me and Mokuba had lasted about an hour. My roommate usually left for "business" at around seven, so we left the café and headed towards my apartment.

Mokuba could try. But nothing would be on the same level as _his _loving.

**Don't kill me. REVIEW!**


	3. The Things We Do to Prove a Point

**I feel like this chapter is hella long. (Why have I been saying that?) I actually had to cut it off short so it wouldn't be too much to take in. The next chapter will be super interesting though. ;) Let me regain my thoughts... So I left off with Mokuba wanting to make out with Loryn... Ok! So here it is then!**

**Disclaimer: I don't freaking own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I own my story! Yeah!**

Chapter 2 The Things We Do to Prove a Point

His hands slowly inch up my shirt, but I pull them back. His tongue, so tentative yet desperate roams my mouth, hoping to entangle mine. His lips are so soft, yet clumsy. He breathes into me, moaning, liking what he's doing, yet I just can't get into it. Mokuba is not his brother.

He pulls back, happy with his work. I look at him in a very dead way. "Looks like you're going home alone, bud," I mock.

He looks so disappointed. "You mean that did nothing for you?" He tries to pull me back in for another, but I pull away.

"You seem to forget I was with your brother for a very long time. And since he was my first and only boyfriend, I only have that to compare to. It really wasn't that great. Not bad for your first, but I've had better." I smirk in a cruel, sadistic way. "I feel awfully sorry for Meadow though."

Mokuba's mouth just gapes open. "You…You harpy!" He gets up to leave.

"That would be Mai, my dear, not me. I prefer bitch."

"Yeah, I'm sure you liked it when Seto called you that on more than one occasion."

I flinch. _He_ had called me that a few times, especially when my bitchiness was above par. "Mokuba, please leave."

He sighs. "Fine." He opens the door. "I was really hoping you'd just come back anyway. I miss you."

"I miss you too, dear, but I need a life." We look each other in the eye for a moment. I look away. "Don't tell…_him_ about this, okay?" I look back. Mokuba nods. "Be careful, Moky."

"I'm calling Roland. He'll pick me up." I nod. That really was the safest way. I hear Roland answer and Mokuba tells him where he is. He hangs up and looks at me.

"Will we still be friends?" Mokuba's sweetness warms my heart.

"Of course. You can always text or call me. I have a new phone by the way…" I give Mokuba my number. "Just…don't give _him_ the number. I'm afraid he'll try something stupid. Or desperate. You know how _he_ is." I stare at him very seriously.

"You know," Mokuba returns my cold stare, "you don't have to refer to him like that. He's my brother, and your former lover. You loved him. Call him by his name."

I sigh, very deeply, like I'm drowning. "I can't. If I do, I'm not sure what would happen."

Mokuba just looks at me with disappointment all over his face. "Seto loves you. He always has. And he always will. As you do. So I wish you'd stop acting like he never existed." I hear a car pull up. "Hmph, that was fast." Looking, at him, I start to see the resemblance. Mokuba turns to leave. "Loryn?"

"Yes, Mokuba?"

"Don't forget that you told Seto you loved him forever. He meant his end of the deal. I think you should mean yours too." With that, he walked away, into the limo, and probably out of my life forever. It wasn't exactly a happy farewell after all.

xXx

I awake to my alarm, which wakes me up every day at seven am. It gives me enough time to get ready for work and have breakfast. It has been about six days since Mokuba left me that last message, and ever since I have not received a single text message. He must be quite upset with me.

I don't really care. Mokuba is too young to understand why I cannot possibly allow myself to admit I still love Seto.

Does that count as a confession?

I do love him. I do. I even said it in that letter, but since I'm on my own now, I have to pretend I never did. It's a hard life to lead, but I have to move on somehow. There never has been an easy way to get over a break-up.

I get up to make myself some crappy cereal. It's quiet in my apartment. Almost too quiet. I forget for a moment that I am supposed to have a roommate. There is no sound. No breathing, no snoring, no moaning. Momo is very silent today, though she never really makes a fuss unless she's drunk. That's not a very fair statement to say, since we've only lived together for a week.

I go to her room and knock on the door. "Momo, did you come in all right?" I have no idea when she gets home, since I am usually sleeping by then. I assume she's deep in sleep and decide to not disturb her. I'll see her later in the day anyway. I can ask her then.

_Since when have I been so passive?_ Normally, I would have walked in on someone regardless of their sleep to make sure they were alive. This is my roommate, and my only means of paying rent. I should know if she came home in a safe state.

So I walk in. I was expecting her to be blowing some guy, to see her sleeping naked, or even doing heroin (despite her 'clean' slate) but I find nothing. No one. Momo isn't home.

Just where the hell did she go?

Now, it is seven in the morning. I don't know prostitutes' normal schedules, but I always assumed they got home at least by like five in the morning, trudging home after being plowed by twenty different men. I hope to never know if they even have hours to work by.

"Maybe she's getting home late or something… She'll be fine… Right?" I talk to myself to ease my nerves, but they're only getting worse. Cereal spills everywhere as I try to pour it in a small bowl. "Should I report her as a missing person? But wouldn't I get in trouble for harboring a prostitute? Is prostitution even legal here?" I have no idea honestly. It was never something I discussed with others. "Should I call her? I do have her cell phone number."

I decide that's my best bet. I call her. It rings for a very long time. Just when I think someone picks up, I realize it's her voice mail. "_Hey, it's Momo-chan! Leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you! Stay sexy!"_ Only a prostitute would command me to stay sexy.

So the phone call did nothing. Maybe she wasn't by her phone. _So, Loryn, where would she be?_ I panic, and then I remember that I always have trouble answering my phone when I'm either sleeping, away from it for five seconds, or if it's on silent or vibrate. Surely one of those is the case.

I call her again. Still nothing. I'm quite concerned now.

But I'm hungrier and Momo is a prostitute. She honestly got whatever was coming to her. I just hope that she'll pay the rent.

As I eat my disgusting bowl of corn flakes, I look up on my phone as to whether prostitution is legal in Japan. No, it isn't. Well, _technically_, but for the most part it is quite illegal. That sucks for Momo because if it were legal I totally would have reported her as a missing person. I like her, to an extent, but I don't want to go to jail for housing a prostitute. Momo will have to find her own way out of this one, or call me.

I finish my bowl of cereal, get dressed, brush my teeth and leave for work. Hopefully by the time I get back, she'll be home.

xXx

I unlock the door and walk in. My apartment is still empty and silent. I check Momo's room. Untouched. I'm quite concerned. I was worrying about her all day. It was enough to make me vomit in the employees-only restroom.

I decide I will file a missing person's report. I'll just pretend that I didn't know she was a prostitute, since she never actually told me. I just assumed. And she works night. Face it, it's highly suspicious.

I dial the police station's number that I look up in the phonebook. A lady officer answers.

"Hi, I'd like to file a missing person's report."

"Yes ma'am, give me one second." I hear some clicking. "Ok, what is the name of the person in question?"

"Momo Takata."

"A woman?"

"Yes."

"Age?"

"She is nineteen."

"What does she look like?"

"Bleached hair, so it's kind of orange in color, with black roots. She has brown eyes, is pale and was last seen wearing a mini black cocktail dress with a giant pink bow on the front of it. She's about 152 centimeters tall and weighs about forty-five kilograms." What sucks about Japan? I had to teach myself a whole new unit system. Unfortunately, in the States, we don't know the Metric System by heart, though we should.

"When did you last see her?"

"In my apartment." I told her the complex I lived in. "She left around seven at night to go to work. She's my roommate."

"Did you see anyone with her?"

"No." Technically, I didn't even see her, but the officer doesn't need to know that.

"What kind of work does she do? Did you try contacting her boss?"

Shit. "I don't know what she does exactly. She never told me."

The woman sighs. "Do you have reason to be suspicious of illegal activity that she is possibly involved with?"

"I don't know. She just moved in six nights ago."

"And you don't know?"

"That is correct."

She sighs again. "We'll be on the lookout, ma'am, and we will let you know as soon as we find her." She asks for my number, and says goodbye. I thank the officer and hang up.

_So how am I going to pay rent?_

xXx

Two days had passed without me hearing about Momo. I am downright frightened, because I don't know if she'll come back, and I don't know if I can pay my rent. If I save, I could, but I also enjoy eating food. I guess this month I'll have to go hungry.

All this stress is driving me nuts. For one thing, I don't even want to eat. I feel awful. And I have awful aches and pains, but nothing is worse than how badly my entire torso hurts. Of course, I figure that my time of the month is finally coming back, so I prepare with vigilance. After all, I'm a safe person.

But seriously, even when I lay in bed, though it is quite uncomfortable, I'm still in pain. I'm always in pain. I need to vomit. Sure, my period could be the culprit, but the stress I've had to endure this past week and the fact that I live in this shit-hole aren't helpful to my health. Also, my roommate is missing. It's not a happy thought.

Thinking about Momo upsets me. I do hope she's alright, but I honestly have no idea. I tried texting her about five gazillion times, but I haven't got a single answer yet. Is she dead? Is she alive? Does her pimp pay well? I may have to see him.

For now, I can only sit and wait. And listen to my stomach growl.

xXx

It's been four days, and Momo is still gone.

The rent is due in three days.

I can pay for about half of it. Will I have enough by three days' time and still eat?

I doubt it.

Work is downright exhausting me. I can hardly lift an apple anymore, with all this stress eating at me. My entire body hurts, I want to vomit all the time, and I want to just cry. Or maybe die. I'm hungry, poor, and my parents are in America. I can't expect them to come and get my sorry ass when I can't support myself and missed out on college. They're already disappointed in me. Wait until they find out Seto and I are no longer engaged. My dad will kill him, my mom will scream, "Then why didn't you go to college?" and my sister will cry, "Why did you steal my boyfriend?" Of course, Meadow doesn't know nor needs to know about Mokuba's real love interest.

I just want money to pay my rent, food to quell my stomach, and a roof over my head. Does a girl need to ask for any more than that?

Of course, I could go find an acting job to tide me over. Surely it would pay more than the grocery store. And I've decided: It is now my quest to look up any and all acting jobs in the city of Domino. Surely someone will hire this poor bitch.

On my phone, the only thing I own that has access to internet, I look up local acting jobs. There are a few. Spokesperson needed for new laundry detergent, pretty woman needed for an exposition, a few auditions for new anime in Tokyo… That was right up my alley.

The cost to go to Tokyo was high. I'd need to take a bus and I can barely pay my rent. I could afford to be late, but would I get paid in time before I'd get evicted? Why am I so stressed?

_Because, you idiot, this is the real world and you let go the one thing that would have given you an easy life._

I really hate my subconscious sometimes.

This is what I wanted. This is what I got. I need to suck it up and move on.

Forget the rent, for now. I'll go to Tokyo and audition! Surely they'd hire an American who knows fluent Japanese.

Who am I trying to kid?

xXx

Tokyo is enormous. It is also quite confusing. It is a surprisingly clean city and I can't wait to possibly move here. Hey, if I get the acting job, why not?

The audition is a cold reading. I've done those before. They're actually quite easy, especially if you want to get a call-back. You just have to really feel the scene all while you're reading it. It sounds scary, but it's not. Well, it isn't for me. Maybe I'm just overconfident.

I sit with the other auditioners, all either nervous, going through their introductory speeches, or trying to intimidate the competition. A few try to talk to me, either to scare me off or to actually converse with me, but I politely decline. I need to stay focused.

They call for a few to come in. They want to set up a scene and see who has good chemistry vocally wise. I get called in. I'm so excited I'm nauseous.

xXx

The world is seen in a new light. Everything seems to be clearer now and bright. The other women and some men sit in their cold plastic chairs seemingly nervous and the fluorescent lights shine on their dark hair. I am the only American here.

The director of the anime told me he was quite impressed that I wanted to audition, especially since I was foreign. He liked how my voice, being that it wasn't Japanese in origin, could really bring a new perspective to voice-acting in Japan. I didn't need a callback. I was given background characters that could use a little bit of my vocal spice.

Of course, I was so happy I vomited. Luckily I aimed right at the garbage can.

The director, shocked by my reaction and yet amused, rubbed my back and asked if I was alright. I nodded and said I must have caught a bug or something and will be alright. He was glad to hear it, handed me some papers with upcoming rehearsal and recording schedules and told me I could go home.

I gladly did so. The bus ride home was anything but pleasant and I vomited again. Surely, I am ill.

Now that I'm home, I make myself some ramen soup that I decided to splurge on. I can afford to be late on my rent. I know I can.

An idea just dawns on me though. _Maybe Momo keeps her money in her room._

As my ramen cools, I walk in Momo's room, still exactly the way she left it. I look under her mattress, through her drawers, and in any other personal belongings she may have. I found a wad of cash, more than enough for her half of the rent, inside a box of tampons. Clever girl.

I hope Momo won't mind me using her money to pay the rent. She agreed to pay all of it, but I'll cover a half this time around. I'm just scared and thinking of my safety. What else should I be concerned about?

xXx

Today the rent is due, and my roommate is still gone. It's only seven in the morning. At this point, I know that I'm going to need to move out soon, or find a new roommate since mine is AWOL. There really is no way of avoiding it. Knowing I got the job in Tokyo eases my mind, since I know I can move to there. There is no doubt in my mind that Tokyo is hella expensive to live in, but anywhere over there would be safer than here. Today, I'll pay my current rent, go to work, and maybe afterwards look for a new apartment. I also have a day off tomorrow, so I know that I do have time to find a new home.

I never thought adult life would be so harsh. With that thought in mind, I head on over to the grocery store to start my shift.

**I hate where I cut it off, but trust me, the next chapter will be good. :) I've already got most of it written, so who knows... Expect another update soon. :)**

**Reviews fuel me and make me want to write more chapters and update sooner! So you should review please please please! For those of you who have, I love you! Thanks so much! I hope you stay with the story!**


	4. The Answers Lie In Joey

**Before I begin, I have to say that fanfiction has changed its layout and it's kinda bugging me. Anyway...**

**So, I totally just updated within a day. This never happens, does it? Well, you can thank this new approach to writing I've discovered. I actually pre-wrote a lot of things for this story since I already knew where I wanted to take it. So honestly this chapter was written months, if not years, before even the prologue was written! I have a document file saved as "The Final Soulmate, preview" that I dump all kinds of ideas for this story so that way I can never forget them and have a convenient place to keep them when their chapters get written. It's great!**

**Also, the endless text messages Miko Hayashi and I send to each other are really great for inspiration. She is officially my muse! Miko-chaaaannn~ Thank you for helping me with ideas! 3 (Of course, this chapter was of my own invention, just to keep her on her toes) Wait till you see where I'm taking this! I really hope you people enjoy reading this story! Thanks to all the reviewers for giving me feedback! I am so very happy you enjoy my writing style and Loryn. I thank you a thousand times. 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I do own my story and Loryn!**

Chapter 3 The Answers Lie In Joey

He woke up sweating and to the sun beating down on his face. It was only eight in the morning, but the sun was so intense, he wouldn't have been surprised if he was sun burnt. He grumbled as he got out of bed, only blue plaid boxers adorning him, and stumbled to his kitchenette. He opened the fridge, and automatically grasped for the orange juice but his hand came back empty. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked at the fridge. There was nothing there. At all.

He seriously needed to go grocery shopping.

He went into his bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His strawberry blonde hair was extra poufy today. He brushed it, as well as his teeth, and splashed some water on his face. Life as Joey Wheeler was simple. Wake up, go to work, eat, and then sleep. In the mix of that, he hangs out with his friends. Joey never liked complications, but he handled them well. Joey's life wasn't easy as far as finances went, and it was much more awful before his father was sent to jail, but now that the man was out of the picture, Joey could afford to relax.

Joey worked at a repair shop. He didn't have much in mind, but he wanted to be a car mechanic. So, with his small job at the repair shop, he paid his way through a car-repair school in order to attain his license to work on cars. It wasn't an easy job, but it was admirable that he still pursued some schooling outside of high school.

Joey moved out of Domino almost immediately after high school. It wasn't that he disliked Domino; Domino was his home. However, his father was a terrible parent and had beaten Joey, even though the "boy" was now an adult. Joey couldn't even return to get his belongings until the man was out of the picture. As soon as the diploma was in hand, Joey signed a lease for a small apartment in Tokyo. Tokyo's prices weren't easy to live with, but the landlord understood Joey's predicament and they made some arrangements. Joey's lucky streak was really working into overdrive after high school.

Of course, Joey still dueled and made a bit from various tournaments. He had a relationship with Mai Valentine, but she went to America to pursue modeling and to also promote Duel Monsters in America. Of course, Duel Monsters was popular internationally, but it never hurt anybody to use a pretty face to advertise things. Mai being at Duel Monsters expos literally said, "Play card games and get a hot chick!" Her primary job was being an underwear model for Victoria's Secret. America loved this Japanese woman, whose looks were anything but Japanese. Joey loved her looks too. He loved her, but Mai was an independent woman. She loved her friends, but she also loved her freedom. She went her own way to achieve her dreams.

Joey missed Mai. She wasn't his first "experience," but he considered her to be the first real deal. Joey's "first" time was more about experimentation. He was also 12, and what does a twelve-year-old know about love? Nothing, that's what.

Joey sighed and dried his face. He didn't want to think about sad things. He only wanted to focus on how to improve his life. He didn't need a woman! He didn't need anything like that! He just needed his friends, a job, and some groceries. He nodded to himself. It was time to go grocery shopping…on his own!

xXx

As I check out, I see a familiar face. Though we only graduated two months ago, it seemed she aged a year. Loryn looks like crap, to put it simply.

Her normally cropped hair had grown out to her chin and hangs around her face in spirals of dark brown. I didn't know her hair was curly. Her usual thick black eyeliner that brought out her eyes is erased and her eyes just seem dull. The dye in her hair that was a dark auburn (sometimes black, depending on how bored she was), is fading and her roots reveal a mousy brown color. Bags hang under her eyes and she looks thin in her work shirt. She looks hungry, which freaks me out. I couldn't go a minute without food, so I know she probably couldn't either! Her pale denim jeans don't tightly fit her thighs anymore, those amazing, curvaceous thighs; they just hang off her hips and fit loosely down. She looks like she's drowning in all the extra room. She just looks like a skeleton, or maybe an anorexic person. Eh, same thing.

What's the worse to me are her eyes though. Not only is there no makeup to give them a theatrical appearance (whoa Joey, you said theatrical?), but they're dull, lifeless. They're glazed over and the lively light that's trademark's gone. These eyes have seen death.

She's just a shell of the girl I once knew. Now, she's a woman, incomplete and lonely. What else could she be hiding?

I didn't want to draw attention to myself or to her, but I have to know if she's okay. She was always so bubbly.

I'll play it cool for now. I'll load my groceries like a good boy. Maybe she'll notice me.

Nah, I'll have to make the first move.

xXx

I grab the groceries and stuff them carefully into bags. There are no non-food items. Everything is food. This is a grocery store, and normally I see at least a toothbrush, but no. This person was stocking up.

Suddenly, a familiar voice greets me.

"Yo, Loryn! What's up?" smiles Joey Wheeler, my previous lover's arch-nemesis. However, in his eyes I see concern.

I smile back, forcedly. "Hey Joey."

His happy-go-lucky exuberant façade fades instantly when he sees my forlorn expression and he looks concerned. "What's wrong? How's _life _treatin' ya?" I can take a hint. I know _who_ he means.

I concentrate on the groceries at hand. Pot roast. Lots of it. "It's been rough, but I'm fine." I hear the false note in my voice. _Please don't let Joey hear it too…_

His concern grows and changes into anger. "Is it Kaiba? What's he doin' to ya?" The cashier looks at him strangely. "Ehh… Why are you working? I thought you were engaged or somethin'…"

I continue with the groceries-to-be-bagged. Two cartons of orange juice. He must really enjoy his Vitamin C. "Joey," I plead, "not here." It is hard fighting back the tears. I can't cry while I'm on the job however. That's bad form. It doesn't help that I'm getting sick. "My shift's over at five this afternoon. I'll talk to you then."

He nods, grabs his cart with its newly sacked groceries and leaves. _What time is it now?_ I see on the register that it's 9:45.

I sigh. _Joey won't let up about this. I have no other choice but to talk to him._ With that depressing thought in mind, I greet the newest patron, ask, "Paper or plastic?" and sack groceries.

xXx

5 o'clock came sooner than I expected.

Since I don't have anything to bring home with me, I immediately leave the building once the manager dismisses me. I walk briskly into the heat wave, already swimming in my own sweat.

Leaning against one of the pillars is Joey. He looks ready for a throw down. The cool summer breeze blows his golden hair nonchalantly. He seems so relaxed but I can see the tense muscles in his abdominals through his white T-shirt. The parking lot has heat radiating off its asphalt surface, and patrons entering and leaving the building are fanning themselves off with newspapers freshly bought, fans from home, or even just their hands. This summer has been nothing but intense heat wave after the next.

I smile gingerly at him. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and my muscles freeze at the gesture. No one had touched me like that in days. I am surprised Joey wanted to give me any physical contact, since he and I are not exactly friends yet we aren't enemies either.

He looks at me, confused. "Somethin' wrong?" We both stare at his random arm, hugging my shoulders so securely. To any passerby, we seem like a normal couple, a young man escorting his beloved girlfriend from work.

I shake that abnormal thought from my head and I shrug my shoulders away from his too-friendly arm. "I don't think it's appropriate to touch me since we're really only acquaintances. I do believe that newspaper boy thinks we're a couple." A young boy of no older than 12 stares at us in our unusual exchange. I do not want to give off any vibe of dating Joey Wheeler.

He nods and keeps his appendages to himself. We walk together down the street in complete silence until we reach the park, me only following Joey since he wants to talk so badly. The once green grass now has a yellowy hue to it and normally there are children everywhere playing. But the heat wave has parents concerned and so small children are cooped up at home, hyper from the limited activity no doubt. I slump against a tree and slide down, my elbows resting on my knees and my head leaning limply against the tree in despair. I really don't want to have this chat with Joey.

"Now tell me what happened." With Joey, there is no such thing as beating around the bush when it came to his friends. _Am I a friend?_

"We broke up," I answer simply with a shrug, staring intently on a wilting flower, the home of a sad little spider.

"Good. He was no good for ya." Joey sits next to me, looking into the sky. He seems so at peace here, chatting with me.

"However," I look at Joey coldly to make him understand my words. "I know he still loves me."

He turns his head to me, smiling like a know-it-all. "Then why did he dump you?" Again, another male questioning my judgment and thinking he has me cornered.

"Actually, I broke up with him. We would both be happier this way." I answer unemotionally, that note I wrote still going through my mind.

"Seems it had the opposite effect on _one_ of the partners, if ya ask me," he responds sarcastically.

"Even when we were living together," I continue, ignoring his comment, "we never saw much of each other anyway, because of his job… It was for the best." I snap my head up. I know I am partially lying. _He_ trapped me, but Joey doesn't need to know that.

"You don't mean that." His eyes narrow, scrutinizing my expression.

I look at him sadly. "I don't want to believe it, but I know it's true."

He changes the subject, knowing I would argue till the day I died. "So…where ya livin' now?"

I incline my head to the left. "Back thataway. Some nastyass apartment I can barely afford." _If Momo was still here, I wouldn't have to worry about that._

"You shouldn't…" He tries to say. I am sure Joey knows the apartment complex I was talking about.

"I'll be fine on my own, Joey. I'm kind of used to solitude." _But oh how it still pains me. _"Where do you live?"

"In Tokyo actually, but I love this grocery store. I always come here for groceries. I moved to Tokyo as soon as I graduated. It's about thirty minutes taking the bus, but it's only grocery shopping. I'm not in a rush." I nod in approval, and ask him if he works.

"Yeah, I do. I repair odds and ends at this shop," and he goes into this tale of how he wants to repair cars for a living and how he's paying through trade school to achieve that dream. It is a simple life. The life of a mechanic, steady pay and no worries. My life was that of an artist: Starving and worrisome.

We are a sitcom waiting to happen.

He is quiet for a moment after his tale. I want to break the silence. "That's pretty nice," I say, genuinely impressed. "I'm glad you're able to live happily."

Then realization hits his face. "Come stay with me! I have an extra space and I just got all my belongings from my old house."

I look at him, bewildered by this random proposition. "What?"

"My dad got arrested for assaulting a prostitute and then the cops found out about how he abused me, so they sent his ass to jail. He ain't comin' back," he replies cheerfully. "Since he's gone, I was able to get all my stuff back."

_Assaulting a prostitute…? That may explain why Momo is gone…_

"Prostitute?" I ask, hoping he'll elaborate.

"Yeah, some young thing that didn't want to get screwed out of her pay. Hahaha," he laughs at his own pun, if he even knows what that is. "She was sent to a hospital I think, but I don't know much else."

"Weird, because my roommate went missing, and I think she's a prostitute. Do you know what your dad's looks like?" I look at him with big eyes, desperate to know.

"I was there when he attacked her… She had bleached hair and was wearing a black dress…" I grab him, almost too excited. "What?"

"That's Momo! My roommate! Is she okay?" I hyperventilate, so excited that Momo is at least alive.

"Well my dad banged her up real good, but I heard she was getting out of the hospital soon. 'Course, the cops say she's gonna get arrested for being a prostitute, but they want to put her on a rehab program since she's still so young." He eyes me. "Why're you rooming with a hooker?"

"There was no other way to pay the rent. She's nice though." _Except when she's drunk and wants to put on a show, but you don't need to know that._

He snorts. "Sounds like you definitely need to room with me." He looks at my hands, still holding his shirt in a death grip. He smirks, like I actually want him in that way.

I let him go. "Joey… I can't…" I scoot away from him.

"Aw, c'mon," he pleads. "It'll be easier on the both of us! You'll have company and protection, a pleasant place to stay, and I'll have someone to help me keep the place clean!"

I sigh. There is no use arguing with him. I don't feel like arguing anymore in this heat, even with that somewhat sexist comment he made about cleaning. "Fine. I was probably going to be evicted anyway."

Who would have thought that a person could be happy with what I just said?

xXx

Joey walked with me to my ratty apartment, a little dump in this bad side of town. The entire place looks dingy and old and I'm pretty sure that one day the ceiling will collapse, taking me and every other tenant with it. In this sunlight, anyone would agree.

The place was tall, and I was on the third floor. All the apartments were a gross brown color though when initially built they were probably beige. Maybe even white. Ivies and vines climb up the wrought-iron stairs and dry walls, and the elevator never works, and if it does, I wouldn't go on it. Most windows have cracks. I am lucky enough to have windows fully intact, albeit dirty as a twenty dollar whore. Oh, bad pun.

I no longer have a key to the door, since I accidentally flushed it down the toilet this morning. However, I do carry an old screwdriver of my dad's with me (for protection; Screw drivers are sufficient weapons) and jam it into the lock. That is my only security. Joey gives me a look of horror and follows me inside.

The carpet was once white but is now beige, as were the walls. That piece of shit TV that is probably 40 years old is in front of a couch I found on the street. The curtains are moth eaten, letting in the intense sunlight.

"You have a suitcase?" Joey asks, peeking in my bedroom. "Never mind." I hear a zipping sound and see Joey walk out with my suitcase. "Is this all?"

I nod. "I did my laundry this morning and put all the clean clothes in there." I look at him curiously. "You plan on me moving out right now?"

"Yeah." He gives me a look of pure skepticism. "I'm sure you had more than this with You Know Who…" He decides to sit on my awful little couch, hoping to prolong the conversation.

I sit with him. "Joey, he's not Voldemort. You can say his name." He grunts in response. I catch myself saying it. I do the same thing. "And you're right, I did."

"What happened to all of it?" I'm not sure if Joey is genuinely concerned at this point or just trying to be an ass. I never hung around him much.

"I sold it all." I lean my head far back, looking at the water-stained ceiling. A cock roach stares directly at me. I shudder in disgust.

In the corner of my eye, I see he blushes as he realizes my situation is far worse than he expected. "You sold all your clothes?"

"Yeah." I'm close to tears, but also emotionally dead. Crying is my body's way of showing grief, not mine.

"Even that gorgeous prom dress?" Joey turns to face me, prompting me to look at him, but I keep up the staring contest with the cock roach.

I look away as I remember that dress though. "Yes…"

"But it looked so good on you!" I assume he saw the pictures on Facebook. _Oh yeah. He was the one that liked every picture that didn't have _him_ in it._

I lift my head up and I glare at him. "I was _starving_." _Correction, Loryn: You ARE starving._

He looks away. "Sorry… It's just… a shame."

"I know." I pat his shoulder. I get up and try taking the suitcase away. He has the handle in a vice grip. "Joey! That's my stuff!"

"Yeah, and you're exhausted, malnourished and I don't think you'd make the walk back home." I let go of the suitcase and look on in shock as I realize Joey just used the word malnourished in a single breath, not bothering to try and figure out if that was the word to use. _He knows what that means?_

I look at my shoes to ease the awkwardness. They were dingy too, and torn from walking everywhere. _Home…_

He starts for the door. "Ready? You need to tell your landlord you're leaving."

I look around the room, knowing I'd probably never see it again. "Yeah. I hope I don't get in trouble for breaking the lease. I did pay the rent this morning though… I should call Momo too…" I muse to myself. I look at Joey finally. "We're walking?"

"Well, gee, I don't have a car…" He holds his hand out to me. "We're taking the bus, dummy. Shall we then?" I giggle and nod, taking his warm hand hesitantly.

_He_ was _never_ this warm.

xXx

While walking to the bus stop, I call the hospital and ask if Momo Takata is in their custody. Thank goodness she is. The desk clerk transfers my call to her room's phone. It rings three times before an answer is heard.

"Hello…?"

I say gently, "Momo-chan? Is that you?"

I hear her gasp. "Oh my gosh! Loryn! I'm so sorry! I'd call you sooner but I don't have your number memorized."

I laugh in good humor. Joey and I sit at the bus stop. "It's alright. Luckily someone told me where you were and now I'm able to call you. How come you didn't answer your cell phone?"

I hear her sigh. "I either lost it or it's dead. I haven't been able to move for days… This bastard beat me up…"

"Yeah, I actually heard from a friend of mine. It was his dad. He's sorry about that. He hates his dad." Joey nudges me playfully.

I hear her cough. "Yeah, he's a bastard. Cheating me out of my money… I'm going to jail you know."

I sigh. "I heard about that too. I guess what I hear is true? You're a…"

"Prostitute. Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

I sigh. We're silent for a while and Joey makes a face that says, "Uh, you better tell her."

I flinch as I ask, "Momo?"

"Hm?" She seems so out of it. _Well, she did get beaten up.._

"I have to move out of the apartment." _That was a nice way of telling her._

Silence. _Shit. Way to be blunt you bitch._

"Um… Are you okay?"

"Why are you leaving? We were getting along so well. I don't even understand…" I didn't expect Momo to react this way. I expected anger, some confusion maybe, but not utter heartbreak and fright.

I interrupt her. "Honey, it's not you. You were a lovely roommate. You were very helpful. But a friend of mine," Joey nudges me again, "doesn't like me living in this part of town and offered for me to stay with him…"

I hear her sigh in exasperation. "I see. You're leaving me for a man. Thanks, Loryn." She sounds like she is about to cry.

My eyes widen in shock. "Oh no! He's a school friend. I've known him for a few years now. Nothing like _that,_" Joey snickers, "is going on! I just have to leave. I also got a job in Tokyo for a voice acting company."

"Oh." She seems surprised I'm not a whore after all. Or that I genuinely _need_ to leave, rather than want to. _Maybe she thought I was offended by her being a prostitute?_ "Well, I guess it's for the better since I won't be going home any time soon. The cops want to send me to some sort of center to get my life turned around and they want to collect my things so we can transfer over there quickly." She sighs. "Why did this have to happen…?" She's silent.

I break the silence. "I'm sorry, Momo."

She chuckles. "Don't be. It's not your fault my life is Hell. I mean, yours isn't much of a cakewalk either, but still. You don't sell your body at least for money."

I chuckle back. "But you do get more money than me. I was almost tempted to contact your pimp. If you have one…"

"Yeah. I am lucky enough to have a decent pimp. He doesn't beat me at least." She laughs. "Well, I guess I can tell the cops to come to the apartment to get my things. Did you tell the land lord anything?"

"I told him you were in the hospital but would be back soon. So I guess you or the cops could tell him about you moving to a center…"

She coughs again. "Sounds like a plan. Well, Loryn, I wish you luck in your life. I hope you won't forget me and I hope the acting gig treats you well. Take care."

"You too Momo-chan! Keep in touch?"

I can feel her smile through the phone. I think I'm the first friend this chick ever had. "Of course. Bye bye!"

"Hehehe, bye Momo."

I hear the bus approach as I hang up. Joey looks at me like I have a second head. "Only you would keep in touch with a prostitute."

**Review please~ 3**


	5. Fell is the Past, Falling is the Present

**Hello! Another update! I'm really impressing myself. I'm usually pretty prompt with some things, but writing was never one of them. I'm quite happy with myself. :)**

**Anyway, to those of you who reviewed, thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and have even read Forever and Beyond! (Like you should! hehehe) I'm really surprised that this one seems to have gotten a faster pick up than my other story did. Then again, I think this one is much better, in terms of writing style and plot. Of course, Forever and Beyond was my first REAL fanfiction and I tried my damnedest on it, but I was also basically mimicking the usual patterns involving such a smutty story. XD But that's how I learn! I'm also being really picky about grammatical errors. I reread each chapter at least four times before publishing. But one error always evades me. Hahaha.**

**I'm glad that there has been such positive feedback on Joey's appearance! I was honestly afraid that some people who are hardcore Seto fans would object to Joey's involvement. Who knows... That may still happen... O_o**

**Which brings me to my current point: WARNING! This chapter has gratuitous sex scenes in it. In fact, the whole chapter is a huge giant LEMON! With lemonade on top! Oh my Ra, I cannot believe I am capable of writing such smut! XD Is it even good? Please don't be afraid to say, "Shit, Lace, your sex scenes suck!" Just kidding. Please be kind when reviewing. I take criticism fairly well, but insults are quite awful.**

**Also, this chapter, or at least the first half, was written months in advance before the story itself was planned out. I had to get a JoeyxLoryn sex scene out of my system. It was plaguing my mind for days. Literally. And right when I saved it and exited Word, my best friend since 4th grade just randomly showed up in my house and was like, "Lace! Where you be bitch?" I'm glad I finished when I did. Writing smut is almost like masturbating; you don't want to be caught doing it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! But I do own my story and OCs. Thanks for reading my rambling! :)**

Chapter 4 Fell is the Past, Falling is the Present

Joey unlocks the door to his apartment with a key. To me, this is a nuance, something I'm not used to.

We walk in, and I am immediately thankful I decided to stay with him. His carpet is white, his walls are white, and the furniture (more than just a sofa!) is mismatched, but not rat infested at least. He has a decent TV, one that was at least from this century. He has blinds instead of curtains, and his kitchenette is pretty clean. At least his sink isn't rusty. And there aren't any water stains to be seen anywhere. Even though this is still a poorer complex than the others in this area, it isn't like Southwest Domino at all.

"Joey," I say turning to him, "this is like paradise." He smiles at me in response.

We stand there awhile, just staring at each other, awkward yet comfortable. I look at my shoes in embarrassment. _A young man and woman in the same apartment… This should be interesting…_

He drops the suitcase. I look up and I dash forward. My limbs encircle his body as he throws me against a wall separating the kitchenette and living room. I am only in it for a hug really, but his lips mash onto mine, practically sucking the skin off and the air away. Forgetting the hug, and now wanting what he is willing to give, my fingers are tangled in his blonde mane as his hands roam my body. He lifts my shirt off, pinning me to the wall with his hips, exposing my slim torso. I lift his away too and as we start to make out with each other again, he unclasps my bra.

I am embarrassed at first. Since living in Southwest Domino, I hadn't eaten as regularly as I would have liked, and thus my form isn't very appealing or luscious to look at. I am skinny and bones protrude out of my skin. Joey doesn't care. He just likes having a naked woman in his house apparently.

We are naked chest on chest. The moment we both realize this, my nipples harden and his penis is hard against the junction between my legs.

And that's when everything becomes a blur. Joey rips my pants off so fast, he throws me on his kitchen counter, rips his own pants off, leaps on me, and before I know it, we are _doing it_, hard and fast. There is no foreplay. There is no teasing. He jumps in, quite literally. He is so irresistibly fast that my vaginal wall has gone numb. I didn't realize that was possible. (Of course, if you sit in school all day in those really uncomfortable plastic chairs, it is possible, but it's been awhile since school.) Hell, I didn't even have much time to spread my legs, let alone moisten up!

Joey's hard and fast approach reminds me of _him_. He went so fast too, and his thrusts were so rough and full of masculinity. However, _he_ was doing it that way because he loved power; he had to emulate it in the office and in the bed. Joey, though, is doing it more from…desperation. He is looking for pleasure and comfort, essentially being the carnal animal we all are. It is weird thinking of _him _while I am with another man, but who hasn't thought of something weird during sex?

I haven't moaned from pleasure in so long. My usual moans are from being exhausted from work, but this way… I'd be exhausted in a good way. And while I'm at it, I am loud. I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors filed a complaint. In fact, I'd be surprised if they didn't complain!

"Oh, gosh, Joey… Please…" I moan in a labor-laden voice. "Unh, yeah… Yes…" He fills so much of me it hurts. After about...19 days now of being celibate, I had tightened up. I am going to be sore in the morning. He spreads my legs to an impossible width, forcing my knees to my nose. My back arches as he goes in as far as possible. My hands mingle in his hair, trace along his back. My finger nails dig into him every time he goes inside. My hips thrust back and forth in time with his thrusts, aiming for maximum pleasure.

He burrows deeper, his face in the crook of my neck, biting it, leaving a bruise. He growls my name against my skin. "Loryn… Unh… Fuck…" The rest of his sex talk is incoherent grunts and mumblings. He lifts his head away, done with the love bite, looking me in the eye as we fuck like horny animals. Our lips crash together, stifling our moans, our tongues battling. We are saying each other's names into each other's mouths, breathless, wanting more, and striving for more.

Within minutes, though, the fun is over. I scream Joey's name in ecstasy ("JOOOOEEEEEYYYYY!"), my body convulses in throes of pleasure, my hands grasp the edge of the countertop as I take in deep breaths, and Joey quickly pulls out and releases his orgasm all over my stomach. I look in revulsion at my stomach, panting from the cardiac arrest he nearly put me in; the white goo oozes down my sides. I look at Joey, horrified, and he shrugs in a nonchalant way. "I didn't want to get you pregnant."

I now know that I will have to invest in some condoms for this boy.

I lay there, naked on his kitchen counter, trying to attain my breath. "Hot damn that was good." A sheet of sweat envelops my body. My lower half is red from all that hardcore thrusting. I blush, realizing I am stark naked on a kitchen counter.

He looks at me, mischief in his eyes. He's climbing back over me, barely even winded, and not sweaty at all. "Want to go again?"

Yes, condoms are a must.

"As much as I'd love to, Joey, I don't think we should. It's bad enough we didn't use protection…" I try to get off the counter but he holds me down. "Joey, if you rape me, I will…"

"Just stay. I forgot I had some condoms in the bathroom. I'll be back in a sec." He runs off, his toned ass bouncing a little from the short run. _Damn, he has a body. And that dick…!_ Joey certainly isn't lacking in that department.

He comes back, the box in his hand. Yes, the box. "Um, Joey?" I ask, eyeing the box suspiciously.

"Yeah?" He slips a condom on his already re-hardened penis.

"Why bring the box…?"

He chuckles softly. "You never know how many times you want to have a go. It's always best to be prepared."

I look at him, surprised. "You're never this careful."

He scratches his hair, amused. "Yeah, but I never have been a baby daddy, and I don't want to start now!" Joey climbs back on top of me. I hold him back.

"Do we have to be on the countertop? In the kitchen?" He looks around, confused.

"Does it matter?"

I sigh. "Last I checked, wood is not a comfortable surface to lie on."

I expect him to make a pun about "wood" but he doesn't and picks me up like a ragdoll. _I guess I really have lost weight_.

"To the bedroom, Your Royal Pain in the Ass."

I scowl, but laugh as Joey pretends to drop me, and brings me into his room for another round.

This time he is gentler. I suppose that first time was just for shits and giggles. This second go-around has a more sentimental feeling, something that only a good romantic movie would have.

I don't think I've felt so happy in my life.

Joey places me on the bed as if I were a princess. He climbs over me, looking into my eyes lovingly. He smiles. I smile back. He places a chaste kiss on my lips as my arms envelop his neck. Simple, sweet, naked kissing.

His hands gently flutter along my sides, feeling each bone, each rib poking out saying, "Feed me, Joey!" He doesn't go for the usual male approach. He won't touch my breasts. He feels my collar bone with his lips, my right arm with his left hand, and his left hand lovingly caresses my hip. Wherever he touches, small, chilling goose bumps erupt on my skin as my spine shakes, wanting more.

Joey kisses my neck, almost hesitantly. I feel like I'm seeing a new side of him. He nuzzles me, almost like a puppy. I look at him and whisper, "Are you all right?"

He smiles against my skin. I love that feeling. "Yeah."

"So why are you being so gentle?"

He's quiet as he kisses my neck again. "I want to savour this moment."

I chuckle softly. "Why? It's just sex."

I immediately want to take back those words. Being with _him_ for such an extended amount of time, always having pointless sex, really changed my feelings about sex. I've forgotten what "making love" is.

Joey pulls back, almost shocked. He looks so disappointed. "Is that what you really think?"

I look away. "I'm sorry. It's just…" I sigh. "Being with…_him_ has really changed my idea of sex. _He_ was the only guy I was ever with. And, let's face it, I was _his_ first too. I'm not sure if _he_ knows what 'making love' is. I'm sorry Joey. You're completely different." I gaze at him very softly, lids hooded over. "I like it."

He snorts. "So…you sayin' I'm…better?"

Though I want to say, "Well, you have an entirely different approach so there really is no comparison," I just come out with, "There's no comparison." Why kill the mood?

Joey smiles, genuinely pleased, and kisses my neck some more. Gently, his fingers tickle my thighs, signaling me to open up. Joey inserts himself carefully, looking me in the eye as he does so. He throws aside the fast approach and goes for a slow, seducing rhythm that has my back bending and my toes curling. My hands grip the sheets tightly as we grind our bodies to the rhythm he sets. Our mouths never leave each other. I can't breathe, my heart is pumping so fast, and this pleasant tingling in my abdominals won't let me stop. Joey hits that spot perfectly every time, like Robin Hood and his bow and arrows, and before I know it, I am mere putty in his hands. The orgasm I receive has me convulsing, I moan louder than a monkey during mating season, and my legs even start kicking out. Joey allows himself to release now that I'm satisfied. His is more subtle, but that pleased look in his eyes tells me he is a very satisfied man right now.

He pulls out, throws the condom aside, and rests his head on my shoulder. He's _cuddling_ with me. Men do that?

He wraps his arms around me, protectively, and whispers, "I will never let you go."

My eyes widen from such a serious statement. "I'm not planning on leaving any time soon."

He looks at me, serious. I have an awful feeling that Joey and I, being of two entirely different intelligences, will always get lost in translation. There won't be any word games. "I don't think you understand. Kaiba treated you like shit, like you were some toy. He always will. It's his way. He's a jerk." I want to say something in _his_ defense, but I can't. At least, I can't right now. I'm still mad that he fell asleep that last time we were together. "But I genuinely like you, since I first met you. You could say…" He closes his eyes, either tired, or embarrassed. "I had a crush on ya…"

I hide my face in his hair. It smells like hair, not some expensive shampoo in a fancy bottle. "Really? Is that why you were so rude to me that first day? Were you jealous?" I kid, but I think Joey thinks I'm serious.

"Hell yeah. Why does Kaiba always have to have what I want?" He yawns and cuddles into my chest.

"Joey," I chastise. "Jealousy is petty." Of course, I'm the worst person when it comes to that sin. "You've got things Kaiba will never have."

"Ha, one, you just said his name for the first time since you got here and two, I know. But I like hearing you say it." Maybe Joey is smarter than I thought.

I pull my face away, realizing that not only did I mention _him_ by his name, but his surname at that. It's like we're mere acquaintances again.

I don't like it. A strange feeling engulfs my stomach as I realize I can't call _him_ by just his surname. He is more to me than that. I mean was!

"I did, didn't I?" Maybe Joey is rubbing off on me faster than I think he could. Or maybe I'm just that impressionable.

"Eh, don't worry about it. It's a good sign." His head rests on my chest, listening to my heart beat. "Just relax," he says as my heart's pace increases. "You'll be fine. I have you here. You won't fall again."

Fall. Bad choice of words. I'm the queen of falling. I fell over a board game once and sprained my ankle. I fell over my puppy who had gotten under my feet. I fell for stupid pre-pubescent boy after pre-pubescent boy. I fell for a married man. I fell for gay men all the time. I fell for a CEO who probably doesn't know my middle name. I fell for someone who actually cares about me.

Maybe this time, I won't fall again.

**There's a tiny reference to The Little Shop of Horrors in here. I wonder if you'll catch it...**

**Anyway, please review! They make me want to poop out happiness! :D**


	6. I Miss You

**Hi guys. Sorry for the late update. For those who have been following FaB since its start, you already know my infamously late updates. You have to admit; this one wasn't so bad. I once waited like a year before I updated again. Pretty bad, eh? I've been going through rough times as of late, so I can't update as regularly, but I'm hoping to get to work on this story at least weekly. Because, after all, I do have a life outside of fanfiction. XD**

**Thanks to those who have reviewed and added this mess to their favorites! I appreciate it so much! Much love goes to you through your computer screens! *hearts flail every where***

**So this chapter... is very interesting. It's the longest one I've written for this story so far. On Microsoft Word it's about fourteen pages. I'm very proud of myself for that. XD Anyway, I did a bit of research to make sure everything was accurate. Also, there are tributes to three different songs in this chapter. I wonder if you can find them? Hehehehe...**

**Anyway, enjoy! And forget the disclaimer. I've posted it about five times now. You know I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. But I also don't own the Zoloft symptoms, Zoloft itself, or Marlboro cigarettes. You get the drift.**

**BEFORE i FORGET! There is a hint of prideshipping in here. Just for you fangirls too. :3**

Chapter 5 I Miss You

I am not a happy camper. I fold my hands together, elbows resting on my desk, as I thought about the past 19 days. A small speck of dust floated into my vision, momentarily distracting me as I thought how useless my cleaning staff is. Reports of my stocks are on my computer screen, but as of now I do not have the mind to worry about financial gain. It is romantic gain I am after.

The love of my life, a girl who had managed to get under my skin, is gone, presumably forever. I don't know where she is currently, even though I had sent my little brother to search for her. She had used a credit card of mine that was a gift. I cancelled that gift, and she fled from the condo she was staying in.

My brother claimed he never found her. I can smell a liar as soon as he thinks that lie. Mokuba is my brother though. He wouldn't lie to me.

"Seto, give her up," he told me, in a very grumpy, teenager way. I assumed Mokuba was only pouting because _her_ sister was his girlfriend and after we moved back here, he was forced to break up with her. _She_ had suggested they Skype each other, but Mokuba said it wouldn't be the same.

He was, and always will be right in that regard. Touching cold glass is nothing like touching warm flesh.

I wonder who touches _her_ flesh now.

"You're suffering from withdrawal." My brother's voice was so cold that day.

I looked at my brother, interest piqued since it seemed he was the sulky one, not I. "On the contrary Mokuba. You seem to be the one suffering." I hated arguing with him. "Mokuba, she was your best friend. You loved her as much as I did, only in a platonic way." I remember how he grimaced. "I can't give her up." I kept that grimace in my mind, and filed it away under _Suspicious Activity_. Mokuba had no reason to grimace. _She_ was his best friend.

"She's not a good friend if she never said good-bye."

In retrospect, I remember sighing at that statement, since my stomach churned at the vision of _her_ absence. My fiancée… _Ex_-fiancée… Wherever _she_ went, I can only pray for _her_ safe return.

I snap out of my reverie, discovering I have gnawed my right index nail to the quick, bleeding more blood than is expected of a finger. I feel my right knee twitching anxiously.

"Damn it all." I wrap my finger in a tissue as my desk phone lit up.

"Mr. Kaiba?"

I sigh in annoyance. _Not now…_ "Yes, Sayuri."

"There is someone here to see you on Mr. Mokuba's orders."

My brother sometimes shows too much concern over me. However, since he is the VP, I need to see anyone he deems necessary. "Bring them in."

A woman entered. She was of a fair height, black hair swept up in a tight bun, and hands clutching a purse almost protectively. She wore a brown pantsuit, with a red scarf around her neck. Red is too striking of a color on her. Her pale face lacked emotion and her cold eyes, grey, stared at me in professional courtesy.

"Hello Mr. Kaiba," she greeted me. "I am Dr. Naoko Amano, a psychiatrist. Your brother showed concern."

Perhaps it is he that needs to show concern for his own self.

"I don't need a psychiatrist." I was about to ask for Sayuri to take Ms. Amano away, but the woman sat down anyway, defiantly.

"That's what they always say," she adds, "Mr. Kaiba." She is so patronizing.

"Well, then, if you're so ready to try and dive into my mind and figure me out, by all means do so." I glare at her.

"Is that a challenge, Mr. Kaiba?"

"You bet your ass it is."

"No need for that sort of language. I'll be short." She pulls out a clipboard, ideally to write down the guts I spill. I hope she isn't a secret gossip columnist. "Please tell me why you think I'm here."

I grunted. "I _know_ you're here on my brother's orders. He is worried about me. I don't know why. I'm fine." I look at my door, hoping Sayuri will break in and say, "Mr. Kaiba, the stocks failed!" I can easily fix that situation. I can't handle someone prying into my head. _Maybe that's why _she_ left…_

"Patient is in denial," she murmurs, writing it down. Surely she doesn't think I'm deaf.

"I'm not deaf."

"I never claimed you were." She gives me a manipulative smile. "Tell me, Mr. Kaiba, are you in good health?"

"Excellent health."

"Physically?"

"I assume that's what you meant."

"Mentally?"

"I have an IQ that is probably twice your salary. I own one of the most successful technological companies in the world, I am a champion Duel Monsters player, and I was the Valedictorian of my school. I believe I'm in perfect mental health."

"Health and intelligence aren't the same thing, Mr. Kaiba. I know you're intelligent. I meant," she scowls, "have you felt anxious lately? Depressed?" She stares pointedly at my tissue-covered finger. "Why is your finger bleeding?"

"Are you a vampire?"

"Don't be childish now."

"I must have bitten my nail too far. I was lost in thought." I look away, back at the door. _Sayuri, please come in here with any kind of news…_

"What were you thinking about?"

"I don't think it's important."

"Obviously it was so engrossing if you had bitten your finger."

I release all my annoyance in a single breath. "I suppose mind and word games won't work with you will they?"

"My, my, is Mr. Kaiba surrendering so soon?"

"Don't be a child now."

She chuckles. "I'm only playing by your rules Mr. Kaiba. What were you thinking of?"

"The last time my brother and I argued."

"What was it about?"

"…" My silence I hope will answer her, but she goes in for another question.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"I don't like admitting defeat."

"Clearly." I know what she's talking about. She didn't have to bring Yugi into this too. "Please tell me."

I stare fixedly at the door, hoping Sayuri will burst in on fire. Anything to get this woman away.

"Sayuri was told by Mr. Mokuba to not interrupt us until this session is over. Any concerns over the company will be transferred to Mr. Mokuba. This, however, won't be over until I have more answers Mr. Kaiba. I need to know why your brother is so concerned about you."

I stare at her with utmost hatred. "Damn you, you witch."

Her mouth ascends into a simper so malicious that even the demons of Japan would have been frightened. But demons don't exist.

"Just tell me why Mokuba should be concerned, expand it and we'll be done. I could be gone in ten minutes if you cooperate, Mr. Kaiba. Of course, I prefer an hour."

"Of course you would; you're paid by the hour." My eyes narrow dangerously, like a cat on the prowl, ready to pounce and kill. "So, my brother is concerned about me."

"Yes, Mr. Kaiba. I've said it a few times already."

I sigh in much agitation. "My brother and I argued over my ex."

"Ex? I was not aware Mr. Kaiba enjoyed the company of another person." She says it in an almost sing-song way that reminded me of _her_. Of course, Amano is only acting. She is terrible at it too.

I snort. "Well, I'm only human too." The statement unintentionally sends me on a wave of memories of every time I used that excuse, or a similar one, when _she_ was around.

The psychiatrist caught my pause. "I have a feeling you unintentionally reminded yourself of this person?" She writes it down.

"You can say 'she.' I don't enjoy men."

"She. Her. Okay then." Amano writes more down. She looks at me expectantly. I look back, blankly, since there isn't much else to say. So my fiancée and I split. What else does this witch want?

Minutes tick by. I don't know what else Amano wants me to say. "Are you going to put in your two cents?"

She smiles wickedly. "Mokuba told me you broke up with your _fiancée._ Tell me about her." I realize that I never actually said how deep we were in the relationship at the time. She caught me. Of course she knew. Of course Mokuba told.

I didn't realize Mokuba could be so spiteful.

I look away, not impressed, and more annoyed than ever. "I thought you were supposed to cure me of _her_. That's why Mokuba sent you, right?"

Amano glares at me, calculative and dangerous. "If you talk about her, it will ease your feelings and we can find the source of the problem." She writes something down. Damn her and her writing. "Mr. Kaiba, what do you miss most about her?"

A breath of exasperation and annoyance releases from my mouth. "Fine. I'll tell you.

"I miss the way she argues with me, over the simplest things. We disagreed over many things. I miss her cynicism, which complimented my derisive nature, her wit, which complimented my logic, and her bubbly nature, which was the one thing that conflicted with me. I don't believe in nonsense. I miss her sighs, since they always held more meaning than she intended. I miss how she screamed my name when I dominated her with my overpowering sex drive. I miss her body, which was large, curvy and so soft… I miss the sex, which was always great. At least for me it was…

"She was someone I trusted. She is the only person that has ever seen me in the nude, since clearly I don't show off my body. She was happy being there for me… I was never there for her…unless I got sex…

"She was my first, my only. I loved her big thighs and hips; they quivered perfectly to my touch. Her breasts were perky, small, but still nice. She was flexible and, in the name of all that is mighty, she was tight… She is every man's wet dream. There were so many things we never tried…"

The woman coughs. I flinch, surprised at how much I willingly coughed up myself. "If I may…" She scribbles something down and places her clipboard face down on her lap.

"What?" My happy memories leave.

Amano looks at me, professionally and impersonally. "A good three fourths of that monologue was about the sex you and she had. Mr. Kaiba…"

"Well it was good sex. You should try it sometime." I look the woman up and down, not sexually. Amano isn't my type. _I bet she's tight though. She's too cold to have a wild nature in bed._

Why did I think that?

"Mr. Kaiba!" Her face flushes. _I seem to have caught her off guard._ "You, sir, are addicted to sex."

"So what if I am?" That cannot possibly be a bad thing. She is almost offended by it too.

"It's not healthy. " Bullshit. "Sex can be good exercise, but when taken into an extreme like that, it can be detrimental."

"How so? Do enlighten me."

She fixes her glasses. "Mr. Kaiba, don't act like a petulant child. I am not here to patronize you."

"You're doing it anyway."

I can see I hit a nerve. She should never have children. "Everything in moderation, Mr. Kaiba. Addiction can lead to distraction, boredom, cravings, and withdrawal." She narrows her eyes much like a predator. "Have you been anxious lately? Biting your nails?" She looks directly at my wrapped finger.

I subconsciously hold it. "So?"

"When did you last have sex? And how many times a day, approximately, did you have it?"

I look at her skeptically, since I don't see how this is possibly important. "The last time Loryn and I engaged in intercourse was three weeks ago. And, before, we had left for America, we did it at least twice a day."

"My Lord, your libido…" Amano writes that down, I presume. "What was significant about America?"

"We were in her parents' house and she felt it was wrong to do it more than once a week. After that, things fell apart."

"Because you didn't have sex as often with Loryn?"

"Presumably. How did you know her name?" I look at my finger, the blood now drying to brown.

"You said it a moment ago." I hear her scribble more musings down. I stare at my finger fixedly.

"Really? I must have subconsciously let it slip."

Her pen stops. "You don't like saying her name?"

I ignore her and continue with my previous story. "Once we graduated it was almost non-existent, our love lives… I only got some when I did something nice for her." She scrawls many things down quickly, excitedly, curiously. Apparently not saying _her_ name is a look into my psyche.

"Such as…?"

"I took her to see _The Phantom of the Opera_. She was willing to do anything that night." I remember how she willingly sat on my lap and rode me until I pulled out and ejaculated all over her stomach. (We had forgotten condoms since I wasn't expecting her to put out.) Her fingers seductively traced patterns in the semen and she even brought a bit to her mouth…

_I cannot possibly get an erection now!_

"Oh? Why?" Amano doesn't look at me as I'm spilling my guts, which is great since I don't want her to see me willing my erection away. I normally don't do this whole "spill your guts and you'll feel better" thing, but it's rather off-putting when your psychiatrist won't even look at you.

"It's her favorite show. Please look at me when I'm talking to you." My erection goes away. I glare at the top of her head. She lifts it up, and I see her face. So tight and mechanic. Uncaring almost. _Why are __**you**__ a psychiatrist?_

"I see…" She starts writing again. "Do you masturbate?" She asks as she looks up. _Oh __**now**__ she looks at me._

"That's a rather disgusting suggestion." I cross my arms, my finger still sore as it brushes against my other arm.

"Patient is offended by masturbation…" That is an awful thing to write down, true, but I don't see its significance. I am also offended that this is the one thing she reads out loud that she has written. She wants to piss me off.

We sit in silence as she writes more. And more. And even more. Is she writing a book on me? I don't know. Perhaps she _is_ an undercover gossip columnist.

She sets her clipboard down. "I do believe you are suffering from withdrawal. Masturbating can help, but I would rather you not."

I smirk at her, amused by her preference. "And why?"

"Your addiction will get worse and worse until it is uncontrollable. You will live off your carnal desires and it is possible you will assault someone in your quest for the next wet hole." I flinch as she says that. What an awful way of saying it. How unprofessional. She must be a feminist.

"Because I like to indulge myself?"

"You don't, do you?"

"Never." If she paid any attention, she'd notice I said it was disgusting.

She pulls out a small piece of paper, writes something down quickly, and with a flourish, and she hands it to me. "This is a prescription for depression. I believe this will ease your anxiety." She eyes my wounded finger speculatively. "It's a strong dose, so it should help you from hurting yourself further."

"Are you implying I do this on purpose?" I indicate the hurt finger. "Because I don't."

"Of course you don't, Mr. Kaiba." I take the paper. I eye it, reading the unfamiliar name of the medicine. Zoloft.

"Isn't this an American drug?" _**She**__ had a song on her iPod about this drug._ "I doubt this is a legal prescription."

"You'd be surprised what's legal and illegal in Japan, Mr. Kaiba." She gathers her things. She checks her cell phone, and slides her thumb across the screen. _I see her patient's money has gone to good use with that iPhone_. "Let's see," she looks at the phone, "our session lasted one hour and twelve minutes. Good job."

"How much?" I swear if she patronizes me again I'll cut her throat.

"¥20, 129, Mr. Kaiba." Mokuba must have found one of the best in the profession. It's admirable he cares this much for me, but somehow, this visit may do more harm than good.

I pull out my checkbook and write the numbers and words down furiously. "To whom?"

"Dr. Naoko Amano, M.D." I sign the check and tear it out, handing it to her. "I thank you Mr. Kaiba. I've never had such an interesting patient before."

"Don't forget doctor-patient confidentiality. You can be sued if you reveal information on your patients." I stare at her coldly as I hit the button that leads to Sayuri's desk. "Yes, Mr. Kaiba?"

"Show Dr. Amano out please, Sayuri."

"Y-yes, Mr. Kaiba."

Sayuri opens the door, and shows the doctor out, not before giving me a quizzical look.

I've never once used the word please to an employee.

xXx

Zoloft. It sounded more like a name of a _Final Fantasy_ aeon than a drug that was supposed to make me "so god damn happy."

Thanks to _her_, I downloaded that song and listened to it. Clearly, near the end of the song, you can tell that the drug is a sham. Why is "Mom" crying? You don't cry when you're "so god damn happy."

What have I gotten myself into?

It's been two days since the visit from the psychiatrist. I got the pills, but I haven't taken them. The pills look so nonchalant in their orange casing, with its white label and white "child-proof" lid. However, I know that these kinds of pills can wreak havoc on someone susceptible to them.

Mokuba sits across from my home-office desk. "You should probably take them."

The pill bottle sits exactly in the center of my desk. Mokuba and I stare pointedly at it, the evening sunlight flowing in, enhancing the orange of the bottle.

To be honest, I am afraid. When I was younger, Gozaburo would sometimes force-feed me pills to calm me down and break my spirit. Those were the times he took to beating me.

As I continue to stare at the infernal bottle, I command Mokuba, "Read the side effects again."

Mokuba looks at the sheet the pharmacist gave me, on my request and reads off the list, as if it were rehearsed.

"All medicines may cause side effects, but many people have no, or minor, side effects. Check with your doctor if any of these most COMMON side effects persist or become bothersome when using Zoloft:

"Anxiety; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; increased sweating; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; stomach upset; tiredness; trouble sleeping; vomiting; weight loss.

"Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Zoloft:

Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); bizarre behavior; black or bloody stools; chest pain; confusion; decreased bladder control; decreased concentration; decreased coordination; exaggerated reflexes; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever; hallucinations; memory loss; new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still; persistent or severe ringing in the ears; persistent, painful erection; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping; severe or persistent headache; stomach pain; suicidal thoughts or attempts; tremor; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual or severe mental or mood changes; unusual weakness; vision changes; worsening of depression."

I nod. "Now read the one from the website."

Mokuba does so, and it matches perfectly. Mokuba stops for a second and looks at me. "How do we know the pharmacist didn't just print this off?"

I continue staring at the pills. "The difference is that the one the pharmacist gave us is the one sent from the medicine company itself. So it could be the website that just copy and pasted." I nudge it. "To think, these little pills can cause that entire ruckus…"

Mokuba snorts derisively. "I think the funniest part is that half of those 'severe' symptoms happen to be your normal behavior." Mokuba bursts out laughing. He is right, but I don't comment on the subject.

Mokuba hums to himself. "Maybe they could really help. Maybe they could counteract your 'normal' behavior." He shrugs his shoulders. "I think you should take them."

I sigh. "You do?"

He nods. "And if anything happens, just contact a doctor, like it says."

"What if…"

Mokuba sighs. "You're just psyching yourself out now. I can't believe you're afraid to take a pill."

It's not that of course. Pills are unpredictable and I don't want to be that guy addicted to pills who ends up dying. "But doesn't it take about two weeks anyway for them to actually work? What if by then…"

"Seto!" Mokuba huffs. "Just take the damn pills!"

I growl. "Fine!" I open the bottle and swallow two. I look at the label. "Shit."

What?" Mokuba snorts. "Does it say, _May cause death_?"

I look at him darkly. "No, it just says I'm supposed to take one. I took two."

Mokuba shrugs. "You won't overdose on two."

"But the shrink said it was a strong prescription."

Mokuba shrugs again and sits back in the chair. "You'll be fine Seto. You act like you've never taken meds before."

"I haven't." Technically, if you include the times Gozaburo drugged me.

Mokuba's eyes widen. "Huh… Yeah, you haven't… Surely you've taken a pain killer or two though right? Aspirin? Ibuprofen?"

This is my brother and he doesn't know the pills I have and haven't taken. "Yes, sometimes."

"You'll be fine! Those have side effects too and you still lived."

I nod. "I guess you're right."

Zoloft. A medicine that you take when you're depressed, only by prescription. A medicine that will discombobulate all your thoughts about a girl you can't get over.

xXx

Our hot, sweaty bodies connect, groping, clutching, and clinging. Moans and wails are heard everywhere. We are in a bed of flowers and gears, apparitions are floating above our heads, egging us on. I am fucking my ex-fiancée in Egyptian ruins, and in the distance I see the company I slaved over.

Gozaburo throws pills at me, yelling at me to pump harder. Scared out of my mind, embarrassed by all these people surrounding me, I ejaculate into the girl below me. It goes on and on, though, like a fire hose. But the spunk is more of a silly-string consistency, gelatinous almost and coagulating. There is so much it comes out of her ears, nose, mouth and even eye sockets. Her belly inflates like a balloon and explodes. I am covered in cum, blood, guts, and newborn infants. Millions of them, all the size of my thumbnail.

Her body shrivels into nothing, and then it glows, transforming into my worst enemy. Yugi Mutou. Except, it is his alter ego, the "Pharaoh." He taunts me.

"Is that all you got, Kaiba?" He sits up, stark naked, his tan glowing in the moonlight. "Let me show you how it's done." He pounces on me, kissing my neck, biting my collar bone, and my eternal nemesis penetrates me. He dominated my body. His abs, so well cut, flex as they make his hips thrust back and forth into my posterior. I try to fight back, screaming, "Stop it, Atem! Stop it!" But he keeps on. His dick is enormous. It is the size of a wolf's head yet it fits inside me as if it is nothing. He tears my bowels apart, and I keep yelling for help. My arch-nemesis is raping me, enjoying it, winning against my inferiority. The apparitions above me, my parents, adopted parent, enemies, brother, and even _her_ parents are above me, laughing.

Gozaburo callously called, "Ugh, Seto how can you allow this? Two men… Disgusting! I'm taking back my company damn it!" He continues yelling insults at me, saying I am weak, submissive, and vile and have no right to even live. "How can you allow yourself to be raped by him? Ugh, you vile creature! You are not my son!"

"I never was your son, damn it!" Atem pummels into me, engorging my body with his semen. The audience above groans their disgust, but to ease it they make a stupid, evil little chant. "Seto, Seto, takes it from the Pharaoh! Always compensating, really aggravating!" I scream as Atem, who had taken to blow me, makes me release my orgasm all over his face, and then I too explode.

My eyes fly open and I sit up. The quick motion makes me nauseous and I vomit all over the bed. Once the last of it comes up, I look around. My bed is a wreck. Aside from the vomit, the sheets are in disarray, covered in a thick, white liquid. Obviously, it's semen. My body is sore, especially my penis. It was hard as a rock, begging to release all the tension I feel at the moment. I recall one of the side effects to be a painful erection. And then hallucinations come to mind.

Yeah, take the medicine Seto. You'll be just fine.

I try to get up, but my hard-on refuses, being sore and painful. I go against the psychiatrist's wishes and against my natural tendency to be clean and heed my erection's call. I pump it, slow, since fast sounds too painful, and my hips buck upward. Within a few seconds, semen flies out like a fountain, and the erection goes away, as does the pain.

I lie there, breathless and sickened. _What have I become?_

The pills cannot possibly be helping. They are making everything worse.

I count the days. It's been twenty one days since _she_ left. I wish I could call her, beg her to come back. _Why not?_ The voice in my head answers. _You've nothing to lose._

"Except my dignity." I can't call her. What would she even say?

I look at the clock on my nightstand. It was one in the morning. Normally, I would stay up till about this time doing work. But the pills made me drowsy and I had to take a nap. Naked, of course.

_Call her, call her…_ The voice won't relent.

I look in my nightstand for my phone. I find her in my contacts list. I never deleted it.

"She won't answer." I was right. _"We're sorry. But the call you just requested has been terminated. This number is no longer-"_ I cut it off and hang up. Of course. She cancelled her phone.

"God damn it, shit to pieces and everything else!" I say loudly. "God damn her! Fucking cunt! Come back, you bitch!" I yell loudly. "God damn everything to hell! Come back! Come back! COME BA-ACK!" My voice cracks as tears rush down my cheeks like rapids leading to a waterfall.

I cry, breathless and relentless. "I fucking miss you, Loryn. Come back…" My chest heaves up and down. I think of her, wondering where she is. Memories flood my vision, so beautifully depressing.

My mind is a constant ocean of memories, flooding my thoughts every day. I remember when I first met her, the hospital incident, her situation with her parents, the nonsense at school, how she came running to me in the rain (unintentionally of course), our first time…

_We never used a condom that night_.

I sat up at lightning speed again. My head was swimming with sudden realization, not at the memory of never using a condom that first night, but another time…

The last time Loryn and I had sex, I forgot a condom. Sex was so infrequent at the time that it sort of fell out of my habits. It wasn't the first time we forgot a condom, but the situation is only worsened when I realize that she also stopped using birth control since it fucked with her head.

"Shit…" I mutter, nauseous again and heartbroken. Yes, heartbroken damn it!

There is a possibility my lovechild, my illegitimate offspring, a _bastard_, is developing in her womb. Loryn probably doesn't know it yet either.

I pull out my phone and take it to the bathroom. As I clean myself up, I look into pregnancy. Symptoms typically don't appear until it's about four weeks in. And, since it's unplanned, it means she wouldn't bother checking anyway since it's the last thing on her mind. She could probably go about a month without knowing, but she'd be pretty dense to not figure it out. And Loryn is not dense. Right now, according to the timeline I am reading, she will probably start having morning sickness next week. Sometimes sooner, but it'll be more regular at four weeks. It's been three weeks. She could be having symptoms _now_.

"Oh, shit, what have I gotten myself into…?" I clutch my head and hit it against the porcelain countertop. Never in my life have I wanted a cigarette more. And I don't even smoke!

I'm being so unlike myself. It must be the medicine. But I've never felt more alive. I put some clothes on, and grab keys to a car I don't regularly use. In fact I don't think I've ever driven it.

Loryn's old Coup de Ville.

Forget all the pretenses. I can never forget her, and I can never forgive myself for abandoning her. I could have pursued her, but I doubt she'd take me back. After all, I was her personal "rapist."

I feel like a real jackass.

I stop before I head out to the garage. I hurry upstairs and find the pills in my office, still on my desk. I stare at them, hypnotized and mesmerized. I take one. Just one.

I turn around and head to the car. I pull out into the night heading to a convenience store. I park, lock the car and step in.

I walk up to the cashier. "May I help you?" He asks.

"What brand of cigarette do you recommend?"

The cashier chortles. "I'm taking this is your first time."

I snort. "It doesn't matter. What's the best?"

"Sir, it's not a matter of the best, but what taste you prefer. Do you want natural or synthetic? Something energizing or relaxing?"

"I don't give a shit. What's a good seller?"

He grabs a pack that is red and white. "These are from America and are quite popular."

Marlboro. The name isn't very appealing, but I don't really care.

"I'll probably come back if I want to try a different one."

He smiles. "Suit yourself, sir. Do you want an entire carton, or just one pack?"

"Just a pack." My fingers drum against the counter.

"That will be ¥700, please."

I give him a few bills, say, "Keep the change," and leave with my new habit. I stop. "You have a lighter?"

He smiles. "Right here." He indicates many painted lighters. "Or if you want something simple, there are these," and he indicates simple, solid colored lighters.

I grab a blue one. "Here." I hand him a few more bills. "Keep the change. I'll see you soon probably."

He smiles again. "Have a nice night sir."

I leave, lighting a cigarette. The noxious chemicals flow through my system and my body is almost completely at ease. I cough a little, unused to the habit.

I look at myself in the mirror. There's a glint in my eye that I haven't seen in a while. I smile, equally uncharacteristic of me as are the cigarettes.

I park the car in the garage and smoke the last drought of my cigarette. I step out of the car, step on the now useless butt and walk back to my manor. I look at the mess in my bed. I tear off the sheets and place them I a hamper. I lie on the mattress and pull out another cigarette. The first inhalation is easier this time. I breathe out the smoke, glad that I learned how to do it properly on the second try.

_I'm so god damn happy._

**Yes, I know Seto is a little... OOC. It's the medicine, obviously. If you read the side effects that Mokuba reads out, then you know that and figured it out too. And that dream...! Even I have never had a dream like that! And I dream about carnivorous acorns! XD**

**It's getting good! REVIEW PLEASE! :DDD Below contains credits to the website that helped me with the Zoloft symptoms. In MLIA format. I do love AP English... T_T**

**"Zoloft Side Effects | ." _ | Prescription Drugs - Information, Interactions & Side Effects_. Web. 18 June 2011. ..  
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	7. My Soap Opera of a Life

**Hey guys! Another update! I'm being very fast aren't I?**

**I still feel this chapter... Needs work. I've went over it quite a few times already though, and at first it was going to be a filler chapter, with just Loryn talking about Joey. But it turned into so much more... It's really coming together. Or maybe it's snowballing out of control. It's 5 am Texas time and I haven't slept. This is my insanity speaking.**

**Just a warning: This chapter is set up through different points of view. I think it's important that we all see how each character is taking the breakup and Seto's oncoming depression. And any other drama coming their way... Hence, the title. Soap operas always have random crap going on, just like this story. Enjoy and review please! :)**

Chapter 6 My Soap Opera of a Life

How long does it take to forget someone you once loved? How many hours do you stay up, wishing for them to be by your side? How many breaths do you take and count as memories pour in and won't leave you alone? Will it take a year, a month, or just a week?

For me, it is 21 days. Perhaps I may never forget Seto, but Joey is keeping me plenty busy.

I believe many people would not believe me when I say that the difference between Seto and Joey is almost infinitesimal. They come from different sides of the tracks, so to speak, but their pasts are not that different. Joey, after picking me up from the grocery store one day, my last day actually, relayed to me a tidbit from his past. He has a sister who lives in a different part of Domino with his mom. His parents divorced when they were young. I knew he lived with his dad, and now that man is out of the picture hopefully for good. So Joey's childhood wasn't all sunshine and daisies, just like Seto's.

However, both responded to their strife differently. Joey is honest, but Seto is none too pleased at revealing his inner emotions.

But really, Joey and Seto do have one piece of their natures that is one in the same: They are loyal to a fault. Seto is dedicated to his brother and company, and at one point, me. Joey is loyal to his friends. I find it ironic that Seto would call Joey a dog, because just like a dog, both are loyal.

Joey picked me up from work every day. We didn't have a car, and if we had extra cash we rode a bus, but we always walked. It felt strange at first, after the first night of living with him, waking up next to another human, someone who would willingly make breakfast and take me to work. Seto never did that. Usually he was up first, already gone, presumably at work, and I had to get ready on my own. I didn't mind, though, so with Joey next to me, brushing our teeth together, I felt awkward.

Today would be the first day I go to rehearsals for my acting gig. I am so excited, yet I am not nauseous. I suppose my little bout of illness has passed.

Joey spits the rest of his toothpaste in the sink. I have already done so, and am quietly patting my face free of any residue. He wraps his arms around me from behind and looks at our embrace in the mirror. He nuzzles against my neck, his voice deep in his throat, like a dog contented.

Even if I never thought of Joey as a dog, I will never see him _not_ being a dog.

"We're a pretty sexy couple, eh?" His hands caress my hips, his thumbs hitching themselves on the elastic of my sleeping pants. He begins to massage my thighs.

"Joey, I have to get to work soon." I take his hands away, and, unlike Seto, Joey backs off.

"Yeah you're right. Eh, last night was enough."

I chuckle. "I think the past couple of days have been enough." Within two days, we had managed to get it on twenty-eight times. I wish I was kidding.

We were everywhere. First, it was the kitchen counter, then his bed. Last night happened to be in the bathroom, with me being bent over the sink. Yes, we were practically in the sink. About an hour before that we were in the shower. After breakfast that day we messed around on the table. The night before that we were on the balcony.

Essentially, every inch of his apartment, except the ceiling, had seen me and Joey naked, doing any possible position we could think of.

Now, of course, I am not in the mood for that. I have rehearsals and a recording to get to and I don't want to be late.

I want to look professional but not corporate professional. I find a sweet blazer in my suitcase of a plum hue and a black, silky camisole. I slip on grey skinny jeans and black ballet flats. As for my hair, I put a small black, clip-on bow to hold my hair back. I use minimal make up and assess myself in the mirror. I look cute, not threatening, and not desperate.

Joey walks with me to the studio, which is actually only a few blocks away. He kisses me good-bye and I enter the building, heart happy with knowing I'm achieving a dream.

xXx

Rehearsal was fun. Rehearsals are always fun with actors though.

Many people don't realize it, but actors are practically kids just playing pretend. They are a fun, active, joyful bunch who enjoys messing around as much as playing their roles. Today was a read-through, meaning we read through the script, figuring out our characters and messing with vocal techniques to characterize them. Since I am a newbie, I am mostly cast as background characters, but since I can mess with my voice and sound completely different, I'm ok. I have a lot of work to do.

Joey picks me up promptly at four o'clock. We walk together quietly. I want to rest my voice since I did a lot with it today.

Joey nudges me as we wait at a crosswalk. "Everything good?"

I nod and smile. "Everything is fine. I'm resting my voice so I don't strain it."

He rolls his eyes in good nature. "Actors," he says in a mock derisive tone. "Always being dramatic." He wraps his left arm around my shoulder.

We walk together quietly, peacefully. I look at the many billboards and neon signs barely beginning to flash this late in the day. My entire body goes into a cold sweat when I see a Kaiba Corp advertisement and see my former lover on a screen, a third the size of his ego.

Joey notices it too, but doesn't say anything. I am glad, because I am not in the mood to burst into tears right now. I especially don't want to since I had such a good day today.

Memories flood my mind frequently. I'm pretty good at forgetting painful things, but only when time passes. Not enough time has passed for me to completely forget the pain.

I think about every possible thing Seto and I have gone through. I think of all the times Mokuba and I shared. I remember Mrs. Lovett with her British accent and her sweet ways. I remember how I didn't have to worry about anything since I was with such a powerful man. I remember all those times his body conformed to mine and we made sweet love in his bed or mine, making the bed squeak up until dawn… That last time was particularly good when he came inside me…

_Inside me… SHIT!_

"Hey, 'Ryn, you okay?" Joey had taken to cutting off the first syllable of my name. It wasn't a frequent nickname, but I could see him using it every day for the next couple of years.

_Do I really see myself staying with this guy for that long?_ I can't see why not. Joey is a good guy.

_You thought the same thing of Seto, too…_

I look at him. He is so concerned. "I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess."

He nods. "We'll be home in a few. I'll make dinner. You go take a nap." I smile at his sweetness.

Joey would make a good husband and father.

xXx

"Hey, they want me to come earlier than usual today. You'll be fine on your own?" Joey fastened on his pants as he addressed me.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Tokyo is a pretty safe city."

"That's not what I meant." Joey narrows his eyes. "You've been feeling kinda ill lately, and I'm just worried…"

I push him gently towards the door. "Don't be! It's just a bug; I'll be fine." Maybe that fine was forced, but I will be.

After all, I'm not the first pregnant woman.

It's been six days since I realized that yes, Seto had ejaculated into my oviduct. He forgot a condom. I didn't realize my life could be that of a lame, teen drama. I also didn't realize I was _that irresponsible_.

My "illness" has seemed to go away though. I haven't vomited lately. I'm just getting used to Joey still and I'm on my guard, I guess. Maybe to him I seem ill.

My head is just in a daze around him, and maybe it always will be. I truly care about Joey since he genuinely is so sweet, but…

_Don't you fucking think it! That time is over. Joey is all you need now._

"Well, if you need me, call the office. I'll be at your side in a split second." He kisses me; his lips linger longer than usual, savoring the moment. He pulls away after a few seconds. "Damn, I love you."

I swat him playfully, a bit flustered that he uses the phrase so freely. "Get to work or your sweet talk will make me keep you home." I wink. "We wouldn't want that now would we?"

He nods. "Yeah." He looks at me for a bit. "Be careful today." He turns around and leaves.

I sigh once the door shuts. I have a lot to worry about today.

Back to my dilemma: Seto… Well, simply put he forgot a condom that night. It wouldn't be the first time, but still… It's bothersome.

Now, I do not know for sure if I'm… Ugh, I can't even bare to say the word. I can't be. It's that simple. I. Can't. My natural tendency to over exaggerate the awful just kicks in every now and then. I'm not pregnant.

I also tend to stay in denial.

I have no way of testing myself. I don't own a pregnancy test and I can't go see a doctor yet. I need to go to work.

And I haven't had any symptoms. Yeah, I vomited every once in a while over the past month, but I was under a lot of stress. Ever since I moved in with Joey, the whole nausea thing stopped. I haven't gained any extra weight, my mood has stayed fairly normal (but I've always had awful mood swings ever since my depression back in 8th grade.) I'm normal, and very _not_ pregnant.

My logic, as incomprehensible as it is, calms me down and I get ready to leave for work. I'm absolutely, positively fine, and I always will be.

xXx

I can't help but worry, you know? She means so much to me. I want her to know I am there for her, always, but I still get that jaded stare, like either she can't understand me, or that I can't understand her. I know she's not ill, but she seems so…

Distant.

_She'll be fine, Joey. You're just scared right now since it's been awhile…_

Oh boy, did I need that train of thought.

_Don't think about __**her**_**. **_She never had the guts to tell ya she left! She didn't even want a committed relationship! The whore! Fuck her image!_

There are some things I can never tell Loryn. At least, not until we've been together for a bit longer.

It's no secret, but I once had a thing for Mai Valentine. Everybody knew that. We hung out together, maybe got a little tipsy and well… I'm sure we did the naughty too ya know?

But Mai had an image to uphold. Rumors were spreading that she was with the "Dueling Monkey" and her rep got trashed. So she had to tell all her fans and followers that we were just buddies and that she was still single.

I didn't understand at first why it was so important for her to keep that single image. But then I realized Mai was a sex icon. The first time I met her, my first thought was "BOOBIES~!" and I had a tiny, high school boy hard on. I wanted to hit that then and now! Other guys felt the same way. If it spread that Mai was with someone, then her reputation would flop and she wouldn't be a popular duelist anymore. Her celebrity lies in her being single and sexy _at the same time_. She loses one of those, and it's game over for her.

So Mai left me simply put. Claimed she couldn't be in a committed relationship and left for some modeling gig in America. _Over the phone!_

She broke up with me _two days_ before I met Loryn again.

She can never know that, or she'll think that she's my rebound and that I'm only in it for the sex. I mean, sex ain't a bad thing, but I really do like her. A lot. I mean, I told her I _love_ her. I do. Right?

And that's why, the first time Loryn and I, eh, consummated our relationship (whoa that's a big word, consummated) I was so…desperate. It was why I basically went so hard and fast. So I felt obligated to make it up for the first time with our second time. Loryn can see that right? I am just a lonely guy. I need her.

I don't think she complained, so I won't worry about any previous ties. It's just me and Loryn now. No one else needs to interfere.

xXx

I love my brother. I worry about him a lot. Knowing that he's on these crazy pills has me quite anxious to see what'll happen to him. I know he'll be fine, but it's already been a few of days, almost a week, and he already acts differently.

First, he stopped drinking coffee. That was Seto's go-to pick-me-up, and now, I can't even smell it on him. There's a new scent now, of smoke and ashes, a bitter, burnt smell. I think it's the smell of cigarettes, but I haven't been around those enough to say for sure. And that has me worried.

Second, he actually shows affection to me. My brother has always loved me, but it's been years since he actually, oh, I don't know, _ruffled my hair!_ He calls me kiddo, and I'm pretty sure he referred to me as "Moky" to one of the maids. Seto hasn't called me Moky since I was like eight.

Lastly, he's not bitter about _anything_ anymore. He's nice to the help around the mansion. He half-smiles to some employees, and he isn't rude to anyone anymore. _He smiles! SMILES!_

And this was after just two days. What the hell has Zoloft done to my brother? Now that it's like the sixth day, I really am frightened about any other repercussions.

I want to be happy about this change. I like seeing my brother happy, even if it's from a drug. But it's so unnatural. It's creepy. The change happened literally within a day. A medicine shouldn't have to be that powerful.

But I guess if it stopped him from thinking about _her_, then my work is done. I can stop worrying. The shrink can probably lay off too. Seto sees her once a week (starting tomorrow) to keep up his rehabilitation. I'm not sure if he actually needs rehab. He just needed a happy pill, not a personality makeover.

What if I lose my brother and am stuck with this hollow, happy shell forever?

I don't think it's natural to be happy all the time. Everyone needs sadness. Of course, one needs it in small doses but only to acknowledge life can be rough. And then again, Seto isn't really that happy…

Well, if that's my argument then I should give up. Seto has been bitter about the awful things in the past for so long; maybe this happy demeanor will be a good change. It can't hurt to be happy, right?

I guess I need to adapt.

Now, my only worry is: What if Seto finds out about me and _her_? Ever since I left her apartment that one time, I couldn't get the way she tasted out of my head. I loved Meadow, but… Loryn has so much more spunk to her. She's almost sexy, but not Mai Valentine sexy. She has more spark I guess. She's too clumsy to be sexy.

But when she said I did nothing for her… Well, it was enough to make me vow to never call her or text her. Ever.

I still have her number, and damn it I want to send her a dirty message, but I can't. She'll just say, "You're so creepy, Mokuba!" and probably block me.

So I am forced to lay here in my bed as I cry that my brother is becoming a drug addict and that the girl of my dreams won't give me the light of day. And finish homework for my advanced courses. What a way to spend my Saturday.

Heh, maybe I should sneak a Zoloft or two. Anything to make me forget all this hurt.

xXx

Work for the day is done. And it's only four pm.

I leave my office briskly, almost happily, as I nod to Sayuri that I'm leaving to go home. "Have a swell day Mr. Kaiba!"

I never realized how cute Sayuri's smile is. She never smiled at me before.

The limo is outside waiting for me and I enter it. I light up a cigarette as I say, "Home, Roland."

"Yes, sir." Roland doubles as my valet and body guard. He is my right hand man and I trust him.

"Sir, if I may be so bold to ask," begins Roland. He rarely ever asks me anything.

"Yes?"

"You smoke, sir?"

I look in the rear view mirror. "Yeah, I guess I do." The cigarette hangs loosely on my lips. I seem more lively, yet my skin seems kind of grey.

_It seems the meds are wearing off._ I keep the bottle in my coat pocket, and I pop a pill in my mouth.

But my skin still looks grey. I seem deflated.

I pop another.

"Sir, what kind of medication is that?" We're almost at the house, but I don't think it's any of Roland's business.

"Roland, it really is none of your business." I stow the pill bottle in my coat pocket.

"Yes, sir." He pulls into the driveway.

The medicine slowly starts to work its magic and I leave the limo. I walk in my house and call for Mokuba.

"Moky! Where are you?"

I hear his footsteps on the second floor. He emerges at the top of the stairs. "I'm right here, Big Brother." His eyes widen at the cigarette in my mouth.

I nod, pulling it out and stepping on it. "Are you doing homework?" Mokuba is still in his uniform. He seems a bit upset too.

"I'm done with physics, but I'm starting my calculus homework now." He fidgets, seemingly uncomfortable. He's looking at me suspiciously, like he can't trust me. Or that he's hiding something…

Again, my liar sense is tingling. I've really noticed a distinct difference in Mokuba. This uncontrollable urge to accuse him takes over me, and I feel a part of me shift.

"I don't believe you, and I haven't for the past couple of weeks." Where did that come from?

He descends the stairs. "What? Seto I'm not lying. Physics was over the velocity of-"

"No," I interrupt him. "I don't believe you're starting your calculus. I know you did your physics homework." Everything becomes hazy and more dark than it should be.

He looks confused. "Well, I was about to before-"

"No you weren't." I look at him. "You've been acting strangely Moky. Why have you been lying?"

"Seto this is ridiculous…" He looks away. He is such a liar! I want to punch him, but I won't.

"ANSWER ME!" I grab him by the collar of his shirt. Maybe I will after all. "Are you doing bad things Moky?" The pills are kicking in. I feel different, but not happy.

He pulls away from me. "What the hell is wrong with you Seto? I'm not fucking lying! It's you who's been acting weird!" He backs up. "And really, bro, _you're_ the one who's done bad things in high school…"

I snap. "Is it a girl? Are you fucking a girl? Are you doing drugs? I bet you're a part of some juvenile gang…" I snort. "You would, wouldn't you?"

He pulls a look of horror on his face, but I can smell the lie. _Smell it_. "Seriously, I got home from school, ate an apple, did my physics and I was about to start my calculus when you got home." He gives me this look, trying to convey his concern. Liar. "Why are you acting so strangely…?"

I burst out, upset that my brother is a delinquent. "Why can't my brother tell me the truth? Why is he such a liar? Why the delinquency?" Mokuba starts to ascend the stairs, backwards, a look of fright on his face, when I come out with. "Is she fucking pregnant?" It explains so much!

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THERE IS NO GIRL!" Mokuba tries to run, but I grab his leg.

"Then is it a man?" I don't even know why I'm saying these things. I've never been more confused in my life.

He looks at me with an infuriated look on his face. Got him. "God damn, Seto, get off the pills." He pulls away and runs up the stairs. I hear the door slam and can hear a click.

He locked me out.

"My brother got her pregnant… He does bad things… He likes men…" I collapse on the couch, pulling out the bottle again as I stare at it lovingly. "You little ones will help me forget all the bad thoughts…"

"My word, I do believe I've 'eard a nasty brawl!" The voice of my cook comes from the foyer. "Oy, Mr. Kaiba, are you 'ome?"

She finds me on the couch, staring at my pills. "Mr. Kaiba, are those pills?" She stares at them, and I can see her mind working out a way to take them from me, the jealous witch.

I pull back, knowing she'll take them away, feigning concern. "They're mine! Be gone wench!"

She looks at me, confused and surprised. She must be astonished at how much better I look. "Are you okay, sir…?"

"Of course!" I smile. She makes a face of disgust. "The doctor said the pills will make me forget her…"

"Um, 'er?"

"Her! Her! The one Mokuba got pregnant! When he's not with men!" Of course she must know! The bad little boy always wanted to steal her from me…

Why am I thinking these thoughts? A part of me wants to say, "I apologize. I don't know what's come over me." But this part, this distrusting, snide, lunatic part is taking over.

I'm losing myself.

Mrs. Lovett, completely aghast, yells, "Whaaat?" She huffs. "I'll 'ave you know, Mr. Kaiba, that sweet little boy has been coming 'ome every day from school, cooped up in 'is room finishing 'omework!" She glares at me. "'E comes crying to me that 'e's worried about 'is brother's safety and wishes you'd act normal again!" She looks at the pill bottle, my one true friend. "Whatever pills your doctor 'as you on is makin' you bonkers. I 'ave a mind to take them away…"

I glare at her, maliciously and utterly infuriated. "Do it and you're fired."

She sighs. "Sir, I'm only…"

"LEAVE ME!" She doesn't understand the anguish I feel. _She_ is gone, Mokuba got her pregnant, and my happiness won't come back since everyone wants to believe I'm wrong!

Wait, this isn't right…

Annoyed, she turns. "Fine then! Be a dope fiend! I can't wait to see when they take you away and leave your brother to run the comp'ny!" She leaves to go do her witch things.

_Company? What company? I'm not addicted…_

I curl on the couch, opening the bottle. "Here you go my friend, make me happy." I take another one.

I try to anyway. They're all gone.

Agony and despair hit me. How am I to ward off the evil that lurks in this house when my one defense is gone?

_Mokuba took them all…_ The voice in my head tells me. It's the reason for this confusion, for these awful visions of exploding babies and gay encounters.

Of course he did. He's a bad little boy and must be punished. I grab a cigarette and light it. Those chemicals envelop my system and I'm at peace again.

_Seto, you're going off the deep end. Just relax._

It's a losing battle.

"Yes, punish Mokuba."

I walk up to his room, banging on his door. "Mokuba, I know what you've done."

He doesn't answer. I continue, knowing he'll answer me eventually.

"I know you did it Mokuba. I couldn't. You lied about finding her." I hear a small gasp. "You lied because you didn't want me to find out that when you found her, you took her. You and she did dirty, nasty things, knowing it'd make me upset, to spite me. And now she's pregnant. You're quite awful Mokuba."

He says through his locked door, "You can't possibly believe that."

I nod, though in retrospect I know it's stupid because he can't see me. "You did. Why else would you lie?"

I hear him let out a very angry sigh. He knows I know, and can't possibly lie his way out of this.

"Seto, only one part of that is true. Yes, I did find her and yes I lied." I hear him mutter, "Well, maybe that's two parts…"

"See? I know!" I bang on his door. "You shouldn't lie to me, Mokuba!"

"Here's a third thing I lied about: I kissed her." I'm silent, wanting him to continue. "Yeah, I kissed her. But that was it. She told me to leave and I did."

"But Mokuba…" I'm astonished that my brother would lie to me, but even more so that he still lies! "Why is she pregnant…?"

He opens the door. "She's not. You're making this up. The pills are hurting you Seto." He looks at me, very concerned. "I think you should sleep off this high you're on."

I grab him, utterly mad. I can only see the deceit in his eyes. That evil grin… I can see him working her over, impregnating her on purpose so he can have what I can't. All while being dominated by other men. "But why did you do it? Why is she pregnant?"

He sighs, holding my arm and leading me through the dark hall. "I didn't do anything Seto. I kissed her because I liked her, but that was all we did. She's not pregnant." The hallway is dark and scary. This impetuous little liar is leading me to my death. He's Satan's helper. "But she did bad things…" I try to plead with this monstrous boy. Memories of her and I attack my brain as my already muddled thoughts confuse me more. I remember her… I remember fucking her, hoping that it would please her… And then there were babies everywhere.

I'm in my bed now, everything so dark. "Mokuba… She's…"

"No." Mokuba tucks me in. "Go to sleep. You'll feel better soon." He leaves me.

My body convulses as I try to gain control of my thoughts again. My sanity, if any left, has abandoned me.

xXx

Forget everything I said about sneaking a Zoloft or two. They're only hurting my brother.

I stand outside his door, leaning against it, wondering how he could possibly accuse me of such an atrocity!

"Where did this pregnant mumbo-jumbo come from?" I ask myself as I walk to my room, hoping calculus can distract me. "And me banging guys? What?" I sit and stare at the graphs and equations of jumbled letters and numbers. They match my thoughts. "Seto, such a change has come over you…"

Yesterday, he was walking on clouds. Today, he's a lunatic, delusional and psychotic, accusing me of improbabilities.

"Okay, so he figured out that I did lie, but…" I try to gain access to a better part of my brain. "Why is he just now accusing me and why is he convinced she's pregnant?" And men? What?"

The only answer is the pills. This demon called Zoloft has taken hold of my brother's mental capacity and is screwing him up. He's probably experienced every bad symptom now…

I look in my bag and find my laptop. I turn it on, access the internet and reload the Zoloft side effect page. I read through it, taking note of every bad symptom Seto had so far.

"Anxiety… Well, he definitely showed that one today… I have no idea if he's constipated and I don't want to know about his desire… Ummm… He's definitely nervous… Has he lost weight? Can't tell yet I guess…" I scroll down to look at the severe symptoms. "Hmmm… Well, he's definitely bizarre! Hah… He's confused… He's probably hallucinating which can explain the other symptoms…" _I'd be confused too if I was hallucinating…_ "Memory loss, yep. Agitation, yep. Panic attacks? Today could count as one…" I continue reading the symptoms, noting that almost every other one my brother has had today alone. The other, more personal ones, like constipation, diarrhea, and the painful erection I can't actually know, but I could always ask him in the morning when he's normal.

I close my laptop and sigh. My brother is officially insane. He needs to get off the medicine.

"How counterproductive. He takes the medicine to make him happy, but it's only making him more delusional. What a croc!" I look at my homework. "Shit, this is infinitely times easier than dealing with my brother's sanity."

Fear hits my heart as it plummets to my stomach. Seto is insane.

My brother, the CEO of a very successful company, who has sole custody of me, is barking mad.

What will this do to his company? If he can't get better, or if the meds do permanent damage, Seto could lose everything. I could be taken away even…

I ditch the homework and seek my cell phone. It is imperative that Seto gets help. Otherwise, his whole life will alter for the worse.

I say to myself as I hear a dial tone, "Why the hell does he think she's pregnant? I know it's not my business but…" _Did they forego contraception? Why else would he think that?_

A voice answers. "_Hello? Moky?_"

"I think you need to come home. Seto is literally going insane." I can only hope this time I can explain to her what's going on.

She sighs. "I think you said that last time." I hear a voice in the back. It sounded kind of like, "'Ryn, who is that?" She shushes the voice.

I sigh angrily. "I know that's Joey, Loryn!"

"Moky…! Don't get mad…"

Tears brim over my eyes. "Seto is losing his mind, and you're on the other side of town committing a crime!"

I hear her gasp, either from shock or anger I can't tell. It's a phone call after all. "What the hell does that mean?"

"YOU'RE FUCKING A DOG!" I like Joey, but knowing he has my brother's love interest and how my brother hates him, the words just burst out of anger.

She's silent. I think I hear her breath catch in her throat. Then I hear her whisper, "Ouch, Joey... Not… Wait… Hang on..." Then I hear her swear. Or at least I think I do. I can't make out what she is saying since it seems she is holding the phone away from her as she has a private discussion with Joey, I assume. There's a lot of background noise, like voices and some crackling. I assume I have a bad connection. There's a bit more swearing too. She comes back to me with, "Mokuba, can you call me later? Now's a bad time…" I hear Joey yell very loudly, "Ah, fuck! Come ON!"

"But Loryn…! Seto thinks-" But she cuts me off.

"Agh! Mokuba, I'll call you later!" The call is over.

"…you're pregnant." I sigh. She hung up on me to fuck her dog boyfriend.

Now I can't really blame Seto. Maybe she is after all. She spread her legs willingly for Seto, gave in to my desire to kiss her, and now she's banging Joey.

I throw my phone. It hits the wall with a dull thud.

"What a slut."

xXx

"Ahhh, it's burning!" Joey yells. "I told you not to take the call!"

"I'm sorry! It was important!" I put the small kitchen fire out. Joey was teaching me how to make takoyaki when my phone rang. As I took the call, the batter caught on fire.

Yes, I had a small grease fire in Joey's apartment. I am that clumsy.

We look at the singed octopus, what was supposed to be our dinner. "Maybe we can still eat it…?" I suggest. It's only half-heartedly. Mokuba's words got to me…

Joey sighs. "We'll have to." He places the burnt remains on a platter. "Who was that?"

"Huh? What?" I look at him. My brain was in another whole dimension.

"On the phone. You called them 'Moky'?" He places the platter on the table, taking off his oven mitts.

"Oh! Yeah, it was Mokuba Kaiba." I see him cringe. "He and I are friends still…"

"What'd he want?" I guess Joey didn't buy that I can still be friends with my ex's brother.

I wave it aside. "Oh, I think he's just trying to get me to come back to Seto. You know those Kaiba brothers!"

He looks at me. "Eh, you sure that was all? It seemed pretty important…"

I nod. "Yeah, no worries! I'll call him later and sort everything out!"

Joey looks at the food. "Okay." He pokes it. "Maybe we should go out to eat…?"

I look at the burnt octopus, utterly revolted. "Yes."

He grabs his wallet and motions for me to follow him.

"I know this nice Chinese place. It's mostly a noodle house, and it seems like it's a bad joint, but the guy who runs it knows me and it's pretty good. You'll see." We walk out the door and he locks it.

"Sounds good." My stomach seems queasy though.

Mokuba needed me. _Needs_ me. Something is going on with Seto and my gut isn't liking it.

**Well duh your gut isn't liking it... lol I have to be sarcastic.**

**I loved writing that scene with Mokuba and Seto. Poor Seto. He's pretty much schizophrenic now. (I swear guys, it's just the meds!) But you'll soon see where this story is going. The only drama can't just be with Loryn ya know? ;) I've discussed and researched what anti-depressants do, and I have to say with Seto, though it may be just a tad exaggerated for comedy's sake, people can react like this. It's actually why you'll never see me taking meds like that. That shit is BAD. And I know people who take them and they are still a wreck... So yeah. Be happy everyone! Let my story be your anti-depressant! (While I go insane writing it...)**

**REVIEW!**


	8. And You Came in With the Breeze

**If I read through this chapter again, it may never get published. I just... I don't know. I hate this chapter. It was a pain to write. Hopefully you'll like it. :)**

**So now the plot is officially on the roll. The whole point of this story is finally getting to being written. And trust me, there is more to come.**

**What have I done? D:**

Chapter 7 And You Came in with the Breeze

Sunday morning. No work. That's all that day ever really meant to me.

I grasp my phone, a small, square turquoise thing that slid into a full QWERTY keyboard. Today is Sunday. I've been living here with Joey for almost three weeks.

Being with Joey is definitely different, but today, the air even seems clearer. I sit up, looking out of his window. It is dawn. I hadn't woken up this early since I was in high school. The sun is barely past the buildings, and the sky is this brilliant purple and pink, and where the sun touches it glows orange. Today would be a beautiful day and I will keep this scenery in my memory forever.

I get up, in nothing but a camisole and underwear as I walk to the window and look out. Hardly anyone is out, save the early birds. The sun has yet barely touched the ground of Tokyo. Everything is still, quiet, dark and peaceful. I open the window and feel the breeze caress my face.

Even though the sun is barely up, the world is just glowing to me. I'm stupidly happy, blindly happy. I smile like a doofus at the sun peeking over the buildings. I sigh to myself. Life seems so great at this moment. The sun ascends higher and everything is in a beautiful, golden hue. I even feel like I'm glowing. The wind blows a little harder as I stumble backwards, nausea hitting me.

I throw up in my mouth.

_There goes my chow mein and kung pao chicken…_ I vomit the once tasty, now rancid digested food into the toilet next to our bedroom until I am only dry heaving.

I am quite sure that last night the food was not rotten or bad. It tasted like greasy, artery-clogging, Asian heaven. However, I am quite nauseous, dizzy, and overall I feel awful. Perhaps I caught a bug again…

The dry heaving kept on. Nothing came up. I want my insides to just erupt into the toilet to make this feeling stop. It is awful. Absolutely awful.

Of course, I'm not stupid. Nausea, the glowing, the insane horniness… That pregnancy theory doesn't sound so farfetched anymore. There is an awful feeling of realization hitting my entire body, and then that feeling explodes from my esophagus.

_Shit… It can't be…_ I stop for a breather and test my body to make sure the heaving stopped. The bout of nausea is over and I insistently dig through Joey's cabinets for some Alka-Seltzer or something to ease myself. Maybe it is just a bug after all…

I find something that can ultimately help my problem.

A pregnancy test, unopened in a pink box, reposes next to a box of condoms. I understand that it's a guy thing to keep a box of condoms handy, but a pregnancy test? I only lived here for… two weeks, almost three. Did Joey expect something to happen so quickly?

"Hey, babe, you alright?" Joey asks from his bedroom. He walks in the bathroom and sees the item in question.

I turn to him, puzzled. "Why do you have this? Were you expecting me to get pregnant?" I ask, completely innocent.

He blushes and looks away, scratching his head. "Eh… I'm a guy who likes to be safe."

I am instantly suspicious. "You jumped off a boat to rescue some cards. You are known for your risky dueling style. You are not safe." I glare at him.

He glares back, though in a more playful way. "I'm safe with my more _personal_ life, if ya get my drift." He twitches his eyebrows twice. I nod, not completely convinced, but agreeable.

I am sweet again. "You used to date Mai, right? Was this something of hers when she left?"

He nods enthusiastically, almost too enthusiastically. "Yeah, it's hers. It's early; must've slipped my mind." He rubs his face. "We wanted to be safe," he says through his hands, "but I guess she forgot it…" His voice drifts away.

Clearly, Mai is a bad memory for him, and I can sense a liar like it's nobody's business. Call me the Human Lie Detector. I know I told _him_ about my innate ability at least once.

But I am trying this new thing where I don't become my mother and become hysterical over silly, tiny things. Joey wants to forget her, if I'm reading his expression correctly. He's not looking at me, hiding behind his hands and he talks into them. Clearly, Mai is a regrettable thing, otherwise he wouldn't be hiding. That's why he lied. "Haha, okay then…" I just stand there, awkwardly holding the box.

Joey looks at me, relieved I've dropped it. _For now_. "So, eh… Why were you digging through the cabinets?" It seems that this is the conversation piece of the day. Perhaps he's just concerned, but I can't help but be touchy about my personal life, which makes no sense given my track record with sexual encounters.

I look away, utterly at a loss for words. "Funny you should ask…" If I were an anime character, I would have sweat dropped.

"And were you vomiting?" He grabs my shoulders, looks me in the eyes and asks, "Are you okay?" Joey is really the type to get henpecked over loved ones. I look in his eyes, warm, brown, and almost golden with the sun rising up. His hair his messy and bedraggled but his eyes are hot molasses pouring down my insides making me feel guilty for what I am about to say.

I hate lying.

"I guess that Chinese last night didn't agree with me." I look directly in his eyes, yet I can't blink. It's a white lie, so harmless, right? "It was yummy though." It's the only truthful thing I've said so far.

He lets me go, seemingly convinced, even if I'm not. "Ah, well, maybe you should take it easy. You work too hard." He looks at the digital clock on the nightstand. "It's Sunday… I'm off today…" He looks back at me. "Do you want to do anything?"

I shrug. "I think I really am getting sick. I've been feeling off and on all month."

He pats my shoulder. "I'll make breakfast for ya. Do blueberry pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries sound good?" My stomach lets out this awful growl that sounds like it came from the back of the Grinch's cave. Joey looks perplexed and a bit uneasy.

"Oh boy it sure does, but I don't know if I can handle it…" My stomach makes another grumble and I feel acid coming up my throat. "I'll...be back." I close the bathroom door and vomit my guts out.

I have to get to a doctor.

As I hear Joey fixing the breakfast that I'll probably never eat, I look at the pink box furiously. It's not the box's fault, but it reminds me of things I never wanted to happen.

I recall that I once had a conversation with Seto if I were to ever get pregnant. I do believe it was the day after the first time we did it. I was scared, horrified at the possibility of being pregnant. Seto obviously wouldn't want to abort the children, and I wouldn't either, but it seriously was the one thing I never wanted to happen to me.

I was in high school at that time. That's understandable. Now, I have a job, live on my own, I have a boyfriend and we can support ourselves. So a baby couldn't be so bad…

_It's not the baby, just the whole nine months shit._ Ever since my mom was pregnant with my sister, I had a fear of pregnancy. What it did to my mom…

Of course, Mom was 44 when Meadow was born. I'm 18. There is no comparison.

But I'm my mother's daughter, and I am the spitting image of her. Something will happen if I am pregnant.

"God damn everything in this world. Why can't humans lay eggs?" That would be kind of cool and a lot easier.

"Babe? What?" Joey shouts from the kitchen.

I yell back, "Nothing! Just talking to myself. Hahahaha!" I let out a very nervous, dishonest laugh.

He doesn't respond so I assume he either didn't hear me or just took my lie. _Why are you such a liar today?_

Because I'm scared. I'm going to explode a baby that isn't Joey's. He'll kill me knowing that Kaiba still took what Joey may never have. (Do you honestly think I'll let this happen again? I'm adopting!) Joey doesn't deserve this. Neither do I.

How am I sure this is Kaiba's little bastard? I've been with Joey over two weeks. You can't find out you're pregnant with a guy's baby after only being together for two weeks. It's been almost four weeks since I've been away from Seto though, and that is usually when symptoms start up. I'm a fountain of useless knowledge. The baby is Seto's.

I clutch my stomach angrily as I stare hard at myself in the mirror. _You're certainly exhausted._ It's all _his_ fault. If he weren't such a sex fanatic, I'd be completely fine, probably married and living the life of luxury. Here, we're barely getting by, denied some amenities, but we're happy at least and with a baby on the way.

_Then again_, my thoughts tell me, _Joey isn't much better when it comes to sex…_

I can hardly count Joey as a boyfriend, more like a fuck buddy. Let's face it; we're incredibly lonely people. The difference is Joey has friends. My friends are back in America.

But I do care for him, and, if there is a baby, I want to stay with him and raise it. Joey genuinely likes me, as far as I can tell.

There are two things I know for sure: Joey can never know this baby, if that's what it is, is Seto's. That's the number one thing. When I tell Joey, I will be ecstatic that I am carrying his child. I will refuse the possibility of it ever being someone else's. Even if the child pops out looking _just like __him_ I will say, "Oh, he must've gotten my grandparents' genes! These things skip generations, you know…" And I'll babble about how my grandparents had blue eyes, and the brown hair obviously came from me…

Number two: I can never go back to Seto. Ever. Even though this is _his_ child. He can never know, and I can never go back. I'm done with him. He had his chance.

I look at that pregnancy test. Mai's never coming back and I doubt she'd miss it.

It's the moment of truth.

xXx

"You've been in there an awful long time. You ok?" Joey knocks on the door.

"Yeah," I say through many breaths, "I'm fine. I feel a bit better now."

I hear him step away. "Good. Breakfast is getting cold so you better hurry up!" He chuckles. "I might not be able to save you some. It's pretty damn good!"

I laugh at Joey's joke. He loves food. "Okay. I'll be out soon."

_You should win an Oscar for that performance._ Joey didn't even notice I was actually bawling.

The little white stick that has remnants of my urine has the dreaded two pink lines on it. _Bingo. Seto made a goal. He dropped a load in you. There's going to be an alien exploding from your stomach any minute now, dumbass._ The tears just fall down my face as I try to breathe. My legs collapse as I lie on the floor, emotionally broken. I want to just wail but I don't want Joey to know. He can't know.

I pick myself up and throw the damn thing in the trash, wrapping it in toilet paper. I find a tampon, unwrap it, and stuff it in the box, as well as the directions. I place the box back in the cabinet.

Joey may never touch the stupid thing, but if he does, at least it will feel like it was never opened.

I clean my face and wait until the redness leaves my eyes. When I look at least sickly and not deflated, I walk out into the living room.

Joey perks up from his orange juice. "Hey, is everything alright?"

I fake a cough. "I think I'm going to head to the doctor…" I restrain myself from overplaying the part, since I don't want Joey to feel like he should take me. I sit down and have a bite of a pancake.

"Good God, this is delicious. And I never say that."

He smiles. "Thanks. Maybe you just need some grub…"

I nod. "Probably. But I think I should see a doctor anyway, just in case." I eat some more. _Please don't throw this up. It's too perfect._

Joey nods. "Yeah, maybe you should." He sips some juice. "Do you need me to go with you?"

I shake my head. "I'm pretty sure I'll be fine. The pancakes are making me feel better." I swallow another bite. "There's a doctor just a block from here right?"

Joey nods and gets up to put his glass away. "Yeah, there are a couple of them there. It's a free health clinic. I go there. They're nice." He washes his glass out. "You sure you don't need me?"

I smile as I finish the pancake. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." I get up. Joey takes the plate. "I can do my own dishes."

He nudges me. "You go see the doctor. I'll take care of the house." He pushes me gently to the door. "Just come back healthy."

I turn to him and smile. "I am so happy I met you." I kiss him, both of us surprised at my display of affection. I'm really warming up to him aren't I? Or maybe I'm just guilty of lying to him.

_You've __been__ warming up to him. You've fucked the boy like thirty times._

I open the door. "I'll be safe." I wink at him. He waves and I shut the door.

xXx

"Alright, Chaise-san, please sit down and we'll call you in when the doctor is ready." I hand the receptionist the paperwork and do as she says.

The doctor's office is quaint. There are pastel flowers painted near the bottom and top of the walls, and fake flowers are on every end table. In the middle is a coffee table with old magazines of almost every genre, the centerpiece being a vase of pink carnations. The place smelled floral and the fluorescents were turned off and instead gentle lamp light illuminated the room. It was peaceful enough, though almost gag worthy.

Send me no flowers please. They'll only be broken.

"Chaise-san?" A portly young nurse asks as she opens the door that leads to hell. I get up and walk to her. Not only is she portly, but she's half of height. My tall, lanky figure is exactly the opposite of hers.

"Ok, this way…" She leads me to a scale and measuring stick. First she measures my height. "176 centimeters…" she mutters under her breath. I do the math in my head. Five feet and 7.7 inches.

Next she weighs me. I never look forward to this. People usually don't believe me when I tell them my weight, but it's true. I always prepare for this "occasion" by dressing in light clothes. I'm wearing old PE shorts from the sixth grade and that camisole. Forget the bra; no one will notice my rather small cleavage.

"93 kilograms…" She writes that down too, and I see a look of surprise on her face. _Yes, I'm over 200 pounds. Is it that hard to believe?_ I was never a "fat" child; chubby, but never obese. I was simply broad and tall. There's only like twenty percent body fat in me now. Maybe more, but even if there were no fat in me, I'd never be less than 180 pounds.

Yes there are your super models with their stick-thin legs and tall physique. And then you have your "husky" girls who get typecast and play matrons or lesbian PE teachers. Or you have my mother, who is also husky _and_ a PE teacher. Go figure.

"Ok, this way," she says as she leads me down a winding hallway into a room that is covered in butterflies. Dead butterflies in glass boxes. It's practically a horror movie waiting to happen.

"So Chaise-san, why have you come to see us today?" The nurse asks as she writes down some more information on me on her clipboard. _Be polite; the world needn't your snarkiness._

"This morning I woke up with nausea, and I took a pregnancy test. It's positive." She nods, and then asks the usual questions.

"When was your last menstrual cycle?" I inwardly laugh. I almost never had a menstrual cycle.

"I was always irregular so this is only an estimate, but I think I had one like three months ago." She looks at me very puzzled but writes it down.

"You've always been that way?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Have you ever been checked for anything that could cause that?"

"Yes, and I am perfectly healthy."

She nods. "Are you sexually active?"

_Boy am I…_ "Yes." _It's kinda why I'm here? Le duh?_

She asks me about any medications, any allergies, any past illnesses, and any genetic illnesses. I tell her all I know and she nods. "So, you're here because you're pregnant?"

"Allegedly pregnant. I don't trust those home tests." She nods.

_What are you a bobble head?_

"Chaise-san, I must ask you to take a pregnancy test. Please go into the bathroom, first door on your left, use the cup in there, mark it with the marker there, and leave it by the little door with the shelf. The doctor will see you shortly after the results are in." I nod this time.

She leaves and so do I. I enter the bathroom, pee in the cup, write my name, and leave it. I wash my hands and walk back to my room.

For a good thirty minutes, I simply just sit here and wonder where my path is going. Or rather, question the path I am currently on. Once I pass this road stop, there will be a fork in the road. Perhaps several forks, but I need to consider the one coming up on my map.

If I am pregnant, I have two choices. I could keep the baby and raise it, like I previously planned. That would mean parenting classes, a painful phone call to my mother, diapers, a crib, a stroller, toys, clothes, and many things that I doubt I can afford. My mother may want me to come back to America so I could be with her and she could help me. I would actually like that, since babies terrify me. I once babysat my friend's siblings and I made the eight-year-old change the little boy's diaper.

_Oh dear crap I cannot be a mother… _It would probably be in everybody's interest if I let this one go.

My second choice is, and I flinch as I think it, abortion. Basically, the doctor shoves a vacuum cleaner up my twat and sucks the baby out. It can be a risky procedure, but it's a surefire way that my life will stay essentially the same.

I am not a pro-life advocate, but that thought is absolutely awful. A baby shouldn't pay for my mistake. Or Seto's.

Or I could go through the whole nine months and then put it up for adoption. But let's face facts: That kid would grow up wondering who its parents were, probably end up being a criminal or maybe go on a quest to find its real parents. In that case, it may be better to just put the damn thing out of its misery. Children growing up wondering where they came from are not an asset to society and statistics say that most of these kids end up committing suicide, becoming felons or prostitutes, or drug addicts. Very few become as successful as Seto Kaiba.

So it seems this road branches out in multiple directions.

And for some inexplicable reason, I think of Mokuba and how his brother got me in this mess. _I never called him back did I?_

So, since the doctor is going to keep me waiting, as doctors do, I call Mokuba up. It's Sunday, so I know he doesn't have school. _"Hello?"_

"Hey, Moky-chan, I'm sorry I hung up on you. Joey was teaching me how to cook takoyaki and I messed up badly."

He yawns. _"It's fine. Do you have time?"_

I look at the door. "I think so. I'm at the doctor's office…"

"_Oh."_ He seems more concerned than a fifteen year old should be.

"Yeah, I've been feeling kind of awful lately, but enough of that. What's going on with Seto again?"

"_Oh my gosh, thanks for reminding me, Seto has been-"_

The doctor walks in. "Hello, Chaise-san, how are you today? I am Doctor Chi Isha."

I hold up a finger. "Mokuba, I'm so sorry, the doctor walked right in just now. I'll call you in a bit ok?"

He sighs angrily. _"If you don't care then fine! Go see your doctor! See if she can fix Seto's broken heart!"_ And he hangs up on that.

"Well that wasn't a pleasant good bye." I shrug. "I feel absolutely awful. I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to tell me."

She nods. "So you know?"

"I _did_ take a home test." _Watch the snarkiness!_

"Then you must know that you are expecting. Congratu-"

"Don't congratulate me. I've never wanted to have a baby in my life." I glare. "Please tell me my options."

She gulps, looking a bit thrown off. I'm normally not impolite, but I'm fed up with things. I need to know where I'm going. "Well, you have several."

I nod. "Such as…?"

She looks at the pamphlets she's carrying. "I've brought some pamphlets for you since I assumed you weren't, ahem, planning." She hands me the pamphlets. "These are over every one of your options.

"You can take classes on parenting and prepare with vigilance. Talk to your hus- I mean boyfriend and together you two can work through it and become happy parents." She smiles. I bet you anything she's a pro-life advocate. I bet you my priceless McDonald's Happy Meal Pokémon toy set.

"The second option is," she shudders, "abortion. We can do that procedure here if you want. We are qualified." I can see it in her eyes though; she does not want me to do that. Or at least, she doesn't want to be the doctor to do it.

"Your third option is to keep the baby but give it up for adoption. You can find parents easily who want a baby yet cannot have one of their own." She sighs. I bet she's one of those people. "There are also open and closed adoptions, depending on how active you want to be in your child's life. Please think this through." _As if I already haven't…_

"Thank you," I say, genuinely. "I've been thinking about it though while I've been waiting."

"Oh?" She seems genuinely interested, and a bit apprehensive. "What were your thoughts?"

I sigh. "I couldn't kill a baby. Even if it is just a group of cells right now, nowhere near to being a human, just a blastula, it's still paying for my mistake." I look at her. "So since I'm keeping it, planning on raising it, what do you suggest I do?"

She nods, genuinely happy. "Well, like I said, talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels about it. I can assume he's the father?"

My face drains of all blood. Never, and I mean this, never in my life have I ever thought I'd be in this situation. I'm far too rational and level-headed to be put in this situation.

_Then again, you also hated men for quite some time too… Too bad __**someone**__ changed your mind._

Seto Kaiba, wherever you are, I hope someone chops your nuts off.

I look at the doctor very seriously. "I understand it's proper conduct for the doctor to have a strict confidential relationship with her patients, correct?"

She nods. "Of course."

"So you obviously can't tell my current boyfriend this, but the baby in question is not his."

She nods. "How do you know exactly?"

I narrow my eyes. "The last time I was with my ex was four weeks ago, and I've only been with my current boyfriend for two weeks, going on three. It cannot possibly be his. The timeline doesn't match up."

She nods. _What is with all this nodding today?_ "Perhaps you should talk to _him_ about it then…"

I shake my head. "_He_ can never know. I've finally escaped him. I don't need any ties to him now."

"Chaise-san, were you-"

"No." I interrupt her. I cannot tell her how I was sexually abused, because that's what it was. Abuse. I change the subject abruptly. "What do you suggest I do now? How far along am I? What should I expect?"

She hands me a pamphlet. "This is all about pregnancy. I cannot tell you how far along you are, since I am not an OB/GYN, but I can guess you're about four weeks along." _Duh, Loryn._ "You should see our OB/GYN here and she can help you along the pregnancy. Again, talk to your boyfriend, and come back if there are any problems." She smiles. "I hope you have a very prosperous pregnancy. Give me a minute and I'll grab you some prenatal vitamins." She leaves, but returns shortly with a small pink box. "Here." We shake hands and I leave.

The receptionist smiles. "Have a nice day, Chaise-san!" I leave the building very mellow and a bit numb. This baby is going to completely mess up any plans I've ever had.

xXx

I walk in the apartment to the noise of a sumo match. Joey, along with his buddy Tristan, is on the couch intently watching the fat men slap each other silly. I simply stand in the doorway. I did not want to tell Joey this in front of his best friend.

"Hey you're home!" Joey turns with a smile. Tristan nods to me. He and I were never on very good terms, but we were civil. "How was the doc?"

"Fine. Hello, Tristan," I say with a smile. He smiles back, glad to see I'm not being biting and brackish.

"Just fine?" Joey snorts. "You were vomiting this morning! Did they catch what it is?"

"Oh yes, and I'm being put on medicine to ease it." I gesture to the bag of vitamins in my hand.

Joey nods and turns back to the match. "That's good. Tristan brought some sandwiches from the local eatery we go to. Take one." Joey hands me a sandwich without looking. Normally, I'd be offended by his lack of concern, but he's just with his buddy, and I don't really want to tell him anyway. We all change around our friends. _All_ of us.

"Joey, it's more serious than you think," I hear myself say. I look at the sandwich. Turkey, with lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, and some mustard I can't identify. It looks delicious.

"What? Your sickness?" He turns back to me. "How serious?"

"Um, terminally serious." Joey's eyes widen as he jumps over the back of the couch with ease and comes to me. He embraces me, holding me tight, worried for my safety.

"What's wrong? Is it…?" He can't finish the sentence.

"I won't die, at least I hope not, but it's going to need a lot of care and caution." I stay still, neither welcoming his embrace nor refusing it. "The doctor thinks I'll be fine though…" I say into his shoulder.

"God damn it! What is it?" He pulls back, holding my shoulders, desperate to see through my word games. _If this were Seto, he'd have figured it out almost immediately._

_Don't think about him! Remember: you wanted his balls to be chopped off! Don't go missing him!_

But I can't help it. After all, this is _his _problem.

"Joey, I'm pregnant."

Silence. It's roaring in my ears with its void of sound. Tristan drops his sandwich as well as his jaw and Joey just stands there stupefied. A small smile lifts his face up.

"I'm going to be a dad?"

I look at him, no emotion on my face as I'm too stunned by what I'm about to say. "You'll have the chance to be the dad you've always wanted." I choke up, tears brimming my lower lids, and they pool up in my eyes and cascade down my face. He hugs me very tight and starts weeping too.

_Joey and Seto are practically identical… They both had awful family lives, yet only one of them gets to have a second chance…_ I'm crying because Seto can't share in this moment even though it's _his._ I am carrying the Kaiba heir, and yet I'm refusing him access, living with someone who is completely good to me yet makes a fraction of the salary.

_But money doesn't matter, Loryn. Love does. And Joey clearly loves you more._

He lets me go and turns to Tristan. "Dude, I'm going to be a dad!" They high five. "Babe," he yells jubilantly to me, "come sit here with me and watch these fatsos duke it out!" I smile and do so.

I'm not lying. Joey still gets to be a dad; they just aren't his biological kids.

xXx

"So how was it? I'm sorry I wasn't there!" Joey beseeches my forgiveness. "I have to work to support my kid so we can get him, or her, all kinds of nice things…" He leads me to the couch, and sits down with me.

"Don't worry about it." I place a finger to his lips. "Everything is fine and dandy." Joey instinctively rubs my stomach for about the fiftieth time that day, the five-hundredth time this week. I haven't started showing yet, but Joey sees through very hazy glasses that leave him deluded with joy.

"So he, or she, is healthy?" He listens to my belly now. "I think I hear something!"

"That's my stomach growling dear."

"Oh."

It's been six weeks since the baby was conceived, two weeks since I found out. Today was my first official appointment of many appointments to come. Very many.

I'm definitely glad he couldn't come today. Joey can't ever know the timeline. If he heard that I was six weeks in this, he'd clearly get suspicious. I've been with him almost five weeks. If I give birth prematurely, my ass will be safe, and Joey won't have to know the truth. He'll think this was perfect timing.

_Unless the doctor blabs…_

Joey is blabbing about baby things as my mind wanders. "So today, after work, I looked at cribs for a bit. I saw this really nice dark wood one that seemed really cozy. I didn't like the price but…" I simply nod as my mind races. "I also saw a nice diaper table… Mobiles are cool… Diapers seem way more expensive than when my sister needed them… Could you imagine if our kid had that? A toy that can teach him out to walk AND talk! Man…!" He rambled on and on as my mind swam through the depths of what is known currently as the Big Mistake.

I'm pregnant with triplets.

I don't know how this could have happened. Twins don't even run in my family, let alone triplets! And Asians have the lowest chance of ever conceiving multiples. I am not sure of Seto's family, but I doubt twins, or triplets, ever were in it!

The doctor explained to me that being I was once on birth control, and then suddenly stopped, messed up my cycle, and so, instead of the usual egg plopping down for conception, three plopped down. My body was basically making everything even, and balancing it out, like some sort of chemistry equation.

_What on Earth have I done?_

A very cold breeze hits the back of my neck and I jump. Chills danced along my spine. Joey looks at me curiously.

"Oh yeah," he utters nonchalantly. "The AC is kinda on the frits. It tends to blast cold air for like five minutes and then just stops. Tristan is coming by to help me fix it."

I nod, shivering. "O-o-k-k-kay." I get up and move to the bedroom. "I'm going to lay down…"

"Alright, my love! Keep our baby nice and warm and safe!" Joey calls from the couch.

My back hits the mattress. _Triplets…_ I'm hit by a very strong heat wave. It is summer in Tokyo, blistering hot, the AC is broken, and I'm pregnant with triplets. My life could not possibly get any worse.

_Three tiny mouths to feed… Three times as many diapers to change. Three times as many clothes, three pairs of shoes…_ The numbers hit my head with their magnitude. I am not an expert at math, but I'm not stupid. The numbers are astronomical.

"There's so much to buy… And we don't have the cash…" Maybe I _should_ have aborted them. Or give them up for adoption. Joey and I can't do this! We're both working folks! Our kids will be miserable! They'll be taken away.

And I have yet to call my mother.

"Oh, shit she's gonna love this…" My mother was always against the idea of premarital sex, even though she is just as guilty as the rest of us. She always told me if I ever lost my virginity in high school and got pregnant she'd kill me. Obviously, I'm still alive and she did find out about my sex life, but if she finds out I'm pregnant… I honestly don't know how she'll react. I'm an adult now. I can assume she'd help me if she can.

Now is as good as any other time. I reach in my pocket and pull out my phone. I find my mom in the contact list and hope the call connects. I recently had international calling put on.

"_Hello?"_ My mother's voice is very faint, but I hear her. _"Loryn? How are you baby?"_

"Mom, I'm awful. I'm so scared…"

"_Why? What's Kaiba doing to you?"_ _Oh… Whoops…_

Mom doesn't know we broke up.

"Um, well this is how it is…" I get up and wander into the bathroom, quietly so Joey doesn't hear. I lock the door and speak quietly. "We broke up."

"_WHAT? ALL THAT HELL FOR NOTHING? YOU WERE ENGAGED TO HIM LORYN! WHAT THE HELL…?"_

I sigh. "Mom, this is how it is…" And so I tell her _everything_. Even the amazing final sex. "And the best part of this porno is that Mr. High and Mighty forgot the dad gum condom." Talking to my mother brings out my Southern dialect.

She gasps. _"Oh dear God… Don't say it…"_

"Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't say it."

"_HE GOT YOU PREGNANT!"_ There are multiple sounds in the background, one being the dogs, and another my sister presumably.

"Yes… With triplets…" I cringe as my mom just bursts with swear words.

"_How the hell does that happen? I don't even think we have TWINS in our family!"_

"My thoughts exactly." I rub at invisible crust in my eye.

"_So does he know?"_

"Who?"

"_Kaiba of course! He's the dad!"_

I must have forgotten to mention Joey. _Way to go genius…_ "No, Seto doesn't. I'm with someone else now…"

"_WHAAAAT?"_

"Yeah… Um… He knows, but he thinks the babies are his. Actually, he has yet to know there are babies. He thinks there is only one."

"_Loryn! Why are you lying baby?"_

"I honestly don't know…" I think how awful I am for all this lying. Maybe it's some instinctive survival tactic I've developed. I've always been secretive.

"_Honey, maybe you should come home. Japan sounds like it isn't treating you good." _So badly do I want to apprehend her poor grammar. So badly…

I cry, quietly, but my mother still hears me. "I don't know, Mom! I want to, but I can't abandon Joey! It's not fair to him…"

"_THEY'RE NOT EVEN HIS KIDS!"_

"I know, Mom! But he thinks they are, and he wants to be there for me!"

She huffs. _"I commend him on his chivalry, but come on! Loryn! You don't even know how to change a __diaper__!"_

"That… may or may not be true…" I look sheepishly away, which is stupid, since she can't see me.

"_This is turning into a Jerry Springer special. Loryn, you got to come home."_

I shake my head. Again, it's stupid. "I can't." Japan isn't at fault here. I am. This is a new opportunity, albeit an awful one, but one that can help me change my life for the better. Maybe.

She sighs_. "Honey, just be careful. Please visit or something. I'll try to come to you. I love you."_

"I know, Mom." I'm still crying. "I love you too."

"_Okay, honey, be careful."_ We say good bye and hang up.

I can't hold back anymore. I'm wailing now, like the babies I'm carrying.

I hear footsteps. Instinctively I hide my phone in my pocket. "'Ryn? Babe, what's wrong?" He tries the door but it's locked. "'Ryn? I'll break the door down!"

He would, too. "Sorry, hang on." I open the door. He looks at my red eyes, my damp face, and my shaking shoulders. "What's gotten into you, 'Ryn?"

"Joey…" I whisper. I hug him very tightly. He pats my head, patronizingly almost, and returns the hug. "I'm very scared…"

"I know, but we'll be fine. The baby is in good hands." He holds me close. I shake my head.

"Oh?"

I look at him, my vision blurry from the massive amount of tears. "No. Not a baby. Ba_bies_."

Joey's entire body locks up. His eyes stare at me, unseeing. He backs away, letting me go.

"Babies?"

I nod. "Triplets. I'm sorry I didn't tell you at first."

Joey stares down at his crotch. "What the hell am I packing down there? _Triplets?_" He collapses against the wall. I can't tell if he's happy or utterly destroyed.

I want to say, _Joey, you're not packing anything. It's Kaiba who-_

He starts laughing. "So either you're nuts or you're quite pleased with yourself." I stare at him condescendingly. "Joey, what is it?"

He looks at me, so happy. "This house is going to be the happiest! Children for us to care for! I'm so happy with this step in my life! Yeah, it's gonna be hard, but still! I've always wanted my own kids."

I look at him, utterly bewildered by my heartwarming boyfriend of sorts. "You're too sweet, Joey."

He grabs me in a hug. "I have to be, for our kids."

He had to say "our."

xXx

It's been two weeks. She hasn't called me back since then.

Fucking bitch.

I understand she was sick. I get that. But no sickness is more important than what I have to say about my brother.

When I said Seto was going insane, I wasn't kidding. He's not as deluded as before, which I found out was a reaction to an overdose, but he seems very sad still. He's not anxious, but he's definitely still depressed.

But it's only been a month. Medicine can't work that fast, right?

xXx

I went to the psychiatrist about my empty pill bottle the day after I used them all. "I used it all up," I said simply, bluntly.

"Um, that's not good…" She looked at her computer, to see my file I assume.

"That was a month's worth prescription… How did you…?" She stared at me with a calculating stare. "Did you try to overdoes on purpose?"

"No." _No, it was for something much better…_

"Then why…?"

"The more I took the happier I felt." I sighed. "Can I just tell you about it all?"

She nodded. "Of course. That's why I'm here."

I looked away. "I took more because after awhile I forgot about her, you know? But then… I must have had a bad reaction. I took the last pill, and all of a sudden I was bombarded with strange images of her, my brother and other things. My brother did awful things to her and to other men… And I'm sure my brother isn't gay…"

She nodded. "That's really quite disturbing. How many did you have at that time?"

"Probably five or six. But I've been taking about that many since you gave them to me."

Her eyes widened in shock and a bit of disgust. "You definitely had a bad reaction… You shouldn't do that to yourself."

"I apologize. It won't happen again. Trust me."

She looked at me, unsure of believing me. "Really?"

"Of course. I'm not an addict." I narrowed my eyes. "Don't even start about that sex talk we had."

She nodded. "Of course not. I can refill it… But I feel like I shouldn't." She typed the information in my file.

"I won't take so many. They were like happy candies. Except they tasted awful."

She printed out the prescription. "I believe you. I'll sign this… And now you can refill the prescription." She narrowed her eyes as I took it. "Don't try and overdose again. I'm keeping my eye on you. I'll call you tonight."

I smirked at her in a devilish manner. "Why? Are you finally willing to surrender to me?"

She scoffed at my innuendo. "Mr. Kaiba, that is utterly revolting of you to suggest. I never have relationships with my patients."

I shrugged. "It's not a relationship if we're not emotionally attached."

She turned her nose up. "Whatever you say, Mr. Kaiba. I'm the psychiatrist here."

That was two weeks ago. I kept my promise. Only two a day. The doctor increased it so I could get a stronger dose.

However, the medicine is still not helping. I can't forget Loryn. I will never forget her sweetness and how she kept my brother company. I will never forget how she squealed when we were in bed. I will never forget her reactions to my life's story.

I will never forget how much I love her.

Present tense. I still am in love with her. I still love her body, her mind, her soul, if those exist. Love makes me sappy and poetic, if you will. Perhaps I did take her for granted, but she is the only person I have ever let get so close to me. The only exception is my brother, but even so, Mokuba can't know everything.

The pills just remind me how much of a train wreck I am without her. I still go to work, but it's without cheer. I'm still the cold-hearted boss, but now there is no passion behind it. Sayuri likened to me saying hi to her every day. It's over now, and Sayuri stays quiet, knowing it was a temporary event.

If anything, these pills just make me regret things so much more.

Without Loryn, there is no passion in my life, my work. There is nothing to look forward to anymore. I have many ideas for the future of my company, but without Loryn by my side, yelling at me to leave her alone, there is no joy in it. She won't be at my side, marveling at the creations from my mind coming to life.

My life, thus far, is over.

**Hooray for thinly veiled foreshadowing. Next chapter will be much more fun to write! Or depressing... I don't know.**

**Review please! :D**


	9. The Secrets We Keep

**Hi guys! I'm so very sorry if this took a while to update. I did just finish this chapter a few moments ago, BUT I prolonged the update of this chapter due to the fact that my internet is being really awful right now. I have satellite internet, because I live in the FREAKING WOODS, and I went over my usage. Yeah, I have limited usage. WTF? (I say I, yet it' s my sister's and my mom's fault too.) But yes, so it's being slow right now, and it took like 10 minutes just to get at this point, writing my author's note.**

**I would like to thank SeptimaDesu for the lovely and inspiring review. It honestly made me very happy to know you think my writing has improved! (I know! I think it shows more drastically than it should since I did start writing FaB when I was 15 and finished it when I was 18, and then I recently started this. THREE YEARS!) And I'm so glad I got you hooked on "Zoloft." **

**As a side note, if my readers review, I might not be able to respond. My internet won't load my email anymore, so I have to go through my phone. And since I'm part of the 30% of our population who doesn't have a smart phone, I can't actually respond to my emails or even browse the links that some emails have. For instance, if I get an alert that SeptimaDesu has updated "So Many Shots", which I reccommend you read, I can go see the story, read it, and review it through the link in the email. However, if I get an alert that SeptimaDesu reviewed, if I click the reply link, it simply won't load. I don't know either. So it may be a while until I get to talk to all of you then! I do apologize for the inconvenience. It also doens't help that I had to reinstall Google Chrome, for unknown reasons, which is the greatest web browser ever. Internet Explorer can suck Joey's cock. So all my favorites and bookmarks I saved to that browser are GONE. Ugh, I hate this.**

**So I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It actually has a good amount of story to it, no smut! Dunh dunh DUNH! Also, this is a SERIOUS chapter. Be prepared to maybe shit your pants or cry your eyes out. Or be mad at me. I don't know anymore. XD**

Chapter 8 The Secrets We Keep

We'd only been together for a few weeks, but I still managed to notice little details about Loryn.

When she sleeps, she sleeps violently. She kicks me often and once gave me a black eye. I realized though that if I hold her while she's rampaging in her sleep, she'll stop.

She likes to cuddle. Sometimes she nuzzles against me. Other times, she curls herself in a ball and wraps the blanket around her neck. She never says anything about it, but it's a quirk I noticed.

There's nothing in the world that can wake her up. There was a freak summer thunderstorm a few days ago and Loryn managed to sleep through it all quite peacefully. Noise does not bother her; a neighbor upstairs had a raging party and Loryn fell asleep like always at eight o'clock. Everyday her alarm obnoxiously rings the Nyan Cat song at seven o'clock and she sleeps through it. I personally have to wake her, even though I leave for work around half past seven.

When she wakes up, she immediately goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Then, being pregnant, she vomits. Then she brushes her teeth again. She washes her face, gets dressed and eats a small breakfast. After that, she uses mouthwash. This is her morning routine.

Sometimes, when we are both home, I ask her how her day is. Everyday she said says "Fine." Only if something actually happens does she actually talk about her day.

She's always tense, so I insisted on giving her a massage every day. Her shoulders are rock hard and she howls when I try to tenderize them. She loves it though.

I noticed she thinks a lot. Her eyes are always glossy and I usually have to say something twice to get her attention. If she is really deep in thought, she mutters what she's thinking out loud without even noticing. Usually, this is in English, so I have no idea what she's saying. She sometimes subconsciously nods her head as well to her thoughts. She plays with her hair to the point that I wonder if she realizes she does it, like a nervous habit or something. Her hands are rarely still.

She is a more complex person than I thought and I sometimes wonder why I'm so desperate to protect her. It's clear she doesn't "need" me; she's more independent and headstrong than Mai! She can easily take care of herself and our kids. Why do I feel the need to stay with her?

Because Kaiba had her. Let's face it: I'm awfully jealous of Kaiba. He has everything I want, material wise. He broke her and ruined her, took away all that was innocent. She claims she is fine but I know when she is lying, usually. At least, I think I do. She is cunning and I know she can be manipulative. That's what Kaiba made her be: untrusting of men, a pathological liar, and insistently "okay."

Sometimes I wake up from a nightmare. In it, the children bust from her stomach, all looking like Kaiba. I would sit up and wonder about the possibility of it. But I believe these kids are mine. I love her more and would never abandon her.

That's one thing Kaiba can never have again: her love.

xXx

Even though my newfound status of "expecting mother" disgusts me and scares me out of my mind, Joey is elated. He is so enthusiastic at being a parent that he absolutely insists to tell all his friends.

Of course, Tristan apparently blabbed about it and so, Yugi demands us to be at his game shop for an impromptu congratulations party.

I am the least enthusiastic parent ever. This is not how I want to live my life. I am responsible, resourceful, and I'm caring, but at the same time I'm selfish and like to be alone. With kids, I'll never be alone.

_What the hell have I gotten myself into?_

So, as part of the plan, all of Joey's friends are holding a party at the Kame Game shop in Domino to congratulate us on the children entering our very young lives. It's a bus ride that I do not look forward to.

Joey insists I dress so that my tummy shows. Tummy is his word. I call it The Abyss. But he insists on shopping and who am I to deny a trip to the mall?

We walk in a cute little boutique that always has outrageous sales. I find a cute dress that looks almost 20s American vintage. It has a dropped waist, and the color is navy blue with cream polka dots. The neckline is rounded, and the sleeves are cupped. It is a very sweet looking dress and super cheap. I also get a few cheap bracelets to dress it up. We head back to the apartment and Joey makes me get dressed. I decide I'd fix my hair a bit, and so I wet it, curl it with some mousse and apply minimal makeup. Happy with the result, I walk out and Joey whistles.

"I am the luckiest guy ever! My girlfriend's a total fox and I'm expecting triplets." He hugs me. "You make me want to be a better man."

"Joey, you're fine the way you are," I say into his shoulder. "Don't be so melodramatic."

He chuckles. "I can't help it." He releases me and we head to the bus stop.

This won't be a very fun ride, since the bus carries all manner of folks, and it's going to be very long and very hot. The worst part of it is that the nearest bus stop happens to be right next to the one person I hope I never run into again.

Yes, the bus stop for Domino is next to Kaiba Corporation.

It's not the only bus stop, but it's the nearest to Tokyo, and the only one the bus will stop at. So, Joey and I will have to walk all the way to Yugi's game shop, meaning we'll pass in front of Kaiba Corp. Unless Joey finds another route, I may run into the wrong person.

The very person whose children I'm carrying will surely not respond well upon the sight of Joey's arm wrapped around my shoulder.

xXx

I sit in my office. My hands won't stay still. I stare at the screen to try and focus on the work I have to do but I can't think. I can't move. I stare at the screen, but not at its contents. I focus harder and start to see each individual pixel. I switch my gaze to my desk and notice each grain of wood. But nothing works.

I see her face everywhere. It haunts my vision and my sleep. I want her. I need her. She's like a drug. She is a drug, my drug. I need her scent on my skin, my clothes, and I need to feel her hair caress my cheek. I need to hold those hands that are so strong yet delicate. I need to look into those eyes, the color of a forest, and just transfer all my problems to those eyes that understand me so well. I need to kiss those lips, the color of berries, and savor their flavor and ask for more.

I stare at the phial of pills on my desk. I promised the psychiatrist that I'd only take as much as I am prescribed. Like Hell I am. I was happier when I was high out of my mind, my mind in outer space dreaming up awful situations. I grab the phial.

_Don't do it._ Her voice even is infectious. Her lower tones warn me against the danger, yet the higher tone, her true voice that she always despised, tries to soothe me, tell me that everything is going to be fine. Its sing song rhythm and melodious pitch invade my ears, bombarding my thoughts with images of her singing in the shower. It's not a vision I want, one I'm trying to refuse, but I can't. I want that voice to whisper in my ear right now. I wish I could call her.

"If I can't have you, then I'll hallucinate of you," I tell the voices, all her own, and open the cap.

I shove all the pills down my throat. One by one they slide down, the chalky, bitter taste assailing my taste buds and making me cringe. I choke a little, but a quick draught of my coffee, old from this morning, washes away the bad flavor.

Everything will be alright now. Today will be a good day.

I sit in my chair, not intending to start any kind of work as I let the medicine take hold of me. At first, everything is better, as I realize that after all I've been through, my parents' deaths, being beaten, and taking over this company, I am still alive, a survivor and nothing can touch me.

But then, I see _him_. The man who made my life a living hell for years appears before me, opaque in appearance, a ghost perhaps. He grins at me in a most sadistic way.

"Look at you, sitting in _my_ chair, running _my _company, as you start to lose it. It seems I wasn't able to beat the weakness out of you after all."

"I have no weakness. I took over this company that you couldn't even protect from a kid! You're the one who is weak."

He walks over to the window behind me, continuing his taunts. "Hmph. So you say Seto. I will always be here, _in your mind_, reminding you of everything. You will _always_ remember how I disciplined you, whipped you, beat you into submission and made you study long hours that not even the best of scholars could try. All I have to do is torment you with my memory and the company will be taken from you, just as it was taken from me."

I know what he's getting at. It doesn't take much to realize Gozaburo plans on tormenting me further still, and forcing me to my death. He wants me to commit suicide.

"Look at you, Seto. You're hardly a man. You're pining away for some little slut on the streets who never cared about you. She's long gone. But you are here. You're not a man; you're a boy who wants to play at being bid bad CEO of Kaiba Corp, all while whoring away with some girl who tried to use you. You're pathetic."

I grit my teeth as I growl, "I'm not playing here. Because of me, Kaiba Corp's stock has never been higher. I've opened up amusement parks in Japan and the United States, most of the proceeds going to orphanages all around the world. People are using technology that _I_ designed to make their lives easier. And you say I'm pathetic." He dismisses this with a wave of his hand.

"Hmph. Money doesn't matter. Power does. Being charitable is hardly power."

"Money is power, old man. I practically run this town. Everyone knows who I am and therefore won't bother getting in my way." I narrow my eyes. "I can decide who lives and who dies."

"Hmph, perhaps I taught you well."

I raise my chin defiantly, my nose in the air, if you will. My height will always be to my advantage. "You didn't teach me anything. I adapted to the situation and took advantage of you."

"Call it what you will, boy, but regardless, it is my teachings that have made you who you are and what runs this company."

I stare at him. "You're dead. You have no influence on my life anymore."

"Clearly I do if you are talking to me, a hallucination." He glares at me, studying my stance. "Look at you. You're practically living off of pills and coffee. You're a drug addict who can't get over his little whore." He chuckles. "She's an insult to whores. She's a slut. Whores get paid."

I growl. "Leave her out of this, Gozaburo! She means nothing to me now."

"Then why were you fantasizing about her? Face it, Seto, you're too weak. You deny yourself of her. Take her. She's only a woman, albeit a slut of a woman."

His words are grating on my ears, like nails to chalkboard. "Shut up. You'll never be half the person Loryn is." I glare, shooting icy daggers at him. They stab right through him because he merely is a hallucination.

"Hmph. I hardly want to be half of a slutty _American _teenage girl." Gozaburo was always a Japanese nationalist through and through. He was almost as bad as Hitler when it came to loyalty to his country and trying to take over the world. "But say what you will. Take the tainted bitch. You and everyone's brother screwed around with her, including your own brother." He laughs at his rather awful attempt of a pun. Gozaburo was never a literary genius.

I can't take it. Not only is he insulting my ex, but now he's insulting Mokuba too. I charge at him. He laughs, disappears through the window. I see him falling over and over again, and I want to go after him. How dare he take the easy way out!

xXx

Seto spends too much time alone. I think if he just stayed with me, he'd forget all his problems and be happy again. Or, be what he calls happy.

My office in Kaiba Corp is one floor below Seto's. However, most of the time, I whittle away the hours in his office.

Seto and I were inseparable at one point. He defended me from bullies, played games with me and shared all his hopes and dreams with me. Ever since Loryn entered our lives though, he changed. He almost never spoke to me when she was around. He told her everything instead. I was always left out, though she included me, made me feel wanted again. Loryn was wonderful, but he's hardly my brother now.

I love him though. I love my brother with all my heart. He's all I have left of family.

I sit at my desk, holding my hair by the roots, cradling my head as I try to think. I need to get Seto out of Domino. He needs a vacation, to spend time with me and have a good life. He needs to feel the sun on his skin and breathe clean air. There's a small beach house we own that is on the other side of Japan and it mimics a traditional Spanish house. Maybe if we go there he'll feel better.

I jump from the chair and exit my office, racing to the elevator that will lead me to the top floor, hoping my plan will work.

The elevator ascends to the top floor in a matter of seconds, and I walk out. A few employees bow, reverently muttering, "Good morning, Vice President." Being that Seto and I have the same last name, it usually gets confusing when we're both addressed as Kaiba-san, or Mr. Kaiba, so to make life easier, we are only referred to by our positions of power. It totally makes sense.

Many people see me as the nice Kaiba, the one that is very sweet, kind, and not nearly as keen as my brother. That is a wrong impression of me though. Seto does have better computer skills and can easily work with technology and the business portion all day, but I have better public relations skills. I'm the very definition of cute, and because of that, manipulation is my forte. Seto is good at making people feel pain and swaying their decisions that way. I just have to pout to get my way.

Hopefully, that technique works on Seto.

I knock on his door and say, "Big Brother, it's me." He doesn't say anything. This is highly unusual. Seto has one of two responses. When it's me, he says, "Come in, Little Brother." If it's anybody else, his response is split into two categories: Impatient and Unwelcoming. So if his secretary asked to come in, he'd either say, "Well, what are you waiting for?" or "I don't have time for that right now." By not saying anything, he's breaking our system.

I'm his little brother though. I can walk in on him and he'll always forgive me.

I open the door and see him staring out the window, looking very lost in thought. His posture is very sunken and I wonder what's wrong.

"Big Brother…?"

I don't think he hears me at all. He just stays in that position, looking so lost. I stand in the doorway, wondering if maybe I'm disturbing him.

He dashes into the window.

My stomach drops. I freeze to the spot as I watch Seto repeatedly run into the window, trying to smash through, swearing at everything in creation. He looks like a bird that can't seem to figure out that the window is far too solid to break through.

Immediately though, I realize that Seto is trying to jump to his death, just like our stepfather.

Years before, when Seto took over Kaiba Corp on that fateful day, Gozaburo jumped to his death from this very room. After that awful, traumatizing experience, builders put in windows that not even a raging bull could crash through. Seto could try all he wants, but that window will not break no matter what.

My muscles unfreeze. I run to Seto, pulling him back. It seems he doesn't realize I'm there. He pushes me aside, tries to break through one more time. At this point, his face is turning purple from the bruising, and blood is running down is temples and forehead. I hear a loud snap as I realize he broke his elbow trying to break through the glass.

He starts sobbing. He forcefully knocks his head into the glass as he falls to his knees. Tears mingle with his blood. He pounds on the window with a fist and I wonder how he does that with a broken arm.

"Come back here, you bastard. You took the easy way out…" He bangs his head one more time, the hardest yet and pauses. His whole entire body starts convulsing. I realize he's seizing.

"Seto!" I try and hold him down. "Sayuri-chan, please get help!" I yell at the top of my lungs. "Seto's in trouble!" Sayuri runs in, sees him seizing and runs for help.

I sit on my brother's chest, straddling him practically, to keep him down as I dig in my pocket for my phone. I dial the emergency number. When the voice of a young woman greets me politely, I tell her everything, trying not to choke up, but at this point I'm practically wailing. She tells me to calm down, asks for my name and where I am.

"My name is Mokuba Kaiba. I'm at the top floor of Kaiba Corp." She doesn't need more info than that. Everyone knows where Kaiba Corp is.

She assures me help is on the way and we hang up. Sayuri rushes in with a paramedic who works specifically for Kaiba Corp. We're not equipped to be a hospital, but we have a few paramedics working here just in case. I'm glad I called the emergency workers anyway.

The man tells me to get off him, and I do so, sitting back in a vulnerable position as I wonder what will happen to my brother.

xXx

The brakes squeak as the bus halts. We make it to our destination.

Joey and I hop off the bus and walk in an easterly direction to the Kame Game Shop.

The building that held the quintessential douche bag is just ahead, its peak scraping the sky, its windows glimmering like a thousand mirror shards.

In those mirror-like windows I can see into the past. Each "shard" is a piece of my heart. I can see us on that day I helped made dinner, or when Mokuba and I went on that zoo adventure. Memories so sweet and touching yet depressing me to the point that I don't want to go to that party with Joey's friends.

But I must. The past is done.

Shrill alarms wail into my ears as flashing lights mesmerize my vision, trying to convince me otherwise. Joey and I halt as an ambulance stops directly in front of Kaiba Corp.

_No… He's fine… Why do you care?_

"Joey…" I grasp for his hand. He squeezes.

"Probably just an accident. No big deal." We walk closer. There is a cop telling people to just stop and wait till the ambulance is gone. Joey and I join the ever-growing crowd. I make it a point to be near the front.

The world, my world, stops as the gurney exits the building with its lone rider. Brown hair, matted with blood, is skewed and messy, unlike his normal combed and moussed locks. His body is too long for the gurney since he is taller than the average Japanese man. Much taller.

I can't breathe. I can't scream. It's like I'm stuck in a void lacking oxygen as the vacuum sucks me in. I fall to my knees as I fully realize that this is my former lover and he's possibly dead.

I hear a paramedic talking into his radio. "We have an attempted suicide coming in. Head injury, convulsions. Please be ready for drop off." I heave one loud, hard sob.

"You can't die, you idiot!" I could swear that I, for a small increment of time, saw his foot twitch, but Joey takes me to my feet and holds me close, trying to shush me. People stare but that doesn't matter. My babies' father is dying. I pull my face from Joey's shoulder as I try to scream out, "Who's going to-" but Joey muffles my desperate question, holding my face to his chest, which is uncomfortable since I have to bend my neck a certain way to get like that, since I'm the same height as him. The alarms start up again, indicating their leave. I manage to move my head to Joey's shoulder, and peer above it to see Mokuba enter the back of the ambulance, staring at me, mouthing, _I told you_. I try to dash for him, but Joey holds me back.

"Loryn, it's over. He doesn't need you now." It's cryptic. Joey's words are cold, yet his voice is hot with anger. He tugs me in the direction of the game shop.

"But Joey, he-" He shuts me up with a tug as we cross the street.

"I don't want to hear it. I already know."

I pull away. "What? What do you already know?"

He turns to me, heartbroken. "You still love him. That's easy to see."

I sigh, my breath hitching, trying not to turn into a sob. "There's more to it than that…"

He gets angry. "What more is there? He already has your heart and your soul! I have your body, but without your mind or soul, it's like talking to a stupid puppet or fucking a doll! The only thing he can't have is our kids…!" Joey's voice catches. He stops breathing and looks at me horrified. "No…"

I'm too hysterical to keep my voice calm. "Yes! They are _his _kids! If he dies, he will never know he's a father! I'm holding the Kaiba heir!" I feel water trickle down my face. I'm crying.

A few people stop and stare, horrified at my statement. Do I care? No. Some whisper, "A lover's quarrel…?" and others hint at their disdain by muttering, "How dare they argue in public… Today's youth has no shame…" I shrug it off as I hold his arm, trying to keep him calm. I will myself to stop crying.

"It's… It's true Joey. I got knocked up by Kaiba the night I left him. I'm pretty pissed about it too." He doesn't respond. He pulls away from me, leans against a lamp post near the crosswalk and slides down it, too shell-shocked to stand. I stand on the street corner curb, a light breeze catches my dress and it blows around me, my hair too, as if I were some ethereal deity in an anime. "Before you say anything, let me just say-"

"That you were never gonna tell me. Of course you weren't." His shoulders shake as he stares at the sidewalk.

"I would apologize, but I doubt you'd believe me. I'm sorry the kids aren't yours, Joey. I honestly wish they were. It would make this whole ordeal easier to deal with."

He stops for a moment. "Do you really wish I was the dad?" He looks at me. Tears run down his tan face.

I nod. "I shouldn't have lied, but I think regardless of how I told you, you'd still be upset. But at least it wasn't infidelity. If you don't mind…" I stop. I almost said, _If you don't mind, will you still have me?_ I'm not actually considering staying with him, am I? I must tell Seto, and once he knows, then most likely…

I change my statement.

"…I must tell Seto. After seeing him half-dead, I feel he needs to know he has children on the way. Perhaps it will give him the will to live."

Joey just stares at me, incredulous at my statement. "After everything he did to you, you'd still go back?" He lowers his voice even more. "'Ryn, baby, he practically _raped_ you. He didn't care about your feelings."

I shrug. "I didn't care about his either. I do love him, but his money impressed me more."

Joey's jaw dropped. "You…you were using _him_?"

I nod. "It's true, we did develop love for each other, but it was only due to our initial missions. I wanted a comfortable life away from my insane family and he wanted a bed partner."

He shakes his head. "I can't believe that… You're with me and I don't have money…"

"You had more than I did when I left Seto. I was afraid of getting evicted again and starving."

He looks at me, not believing me. "I find that hard to believe."

"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

Joey scoffs. "Don't quote _Star Wars_ at me. Now I really don't believe you."

I shrug. "It doesn't matter now, I suppose." I look in the direction the ambulance went.

"'Ryn?" I incline my head to him.

"Yes?"

"Let's pretend this didn't happen. Let's just go to the party, act like nothing's wrong, and have a good time. Yugi really did go to the trouble…" I nod. He perks up.

"We'll go. But will we tell them eventually?"

"If you go back to Kaiba, I kinda have to…"

I nod again. "I'm sorry Joey."

He shrugs. "It's fine." He gets up. "I have secrets to tell you too."

I am surprised at this. "Really?"

He nods. "I'll tell you on the way there."

"Alright." He takes my hand and we walk together.

"So," he begins, "I think you need to know why I wanted you with me so badly.

"I always had a thing for you. Ever since you first walked in the classroom with that bruise on your face, I wanted to bed you. No joke. But I was immature back then. You just seemed so strong and I felt like you'd understand me.

"But then I noticed how chummy you were with Kaiba. It got to me, so I felt the need to insult you. I never liked the guy and knowing you were friends with him, maybe even sleeping with him, bugged me. I couldn't be friends with a girl who I knew was being used by that creep.

"But then you left during the last few weeks of school for America, with him. I was so depressed that I'd never see you again, that I added you on Facebook finally. I didn't even have on at first but I made one, for you.

"Then you posted those pictures from that dance you went to with him. What was that called?"

"It's called a prom Joey. It's like the final dance of a high school student's life."

He nods. "Yeah. Prom. You looked gorgeous. I couldn't help myself. I wanted you to be on my arm, and dance with me. I bet Kaiba didn't dance with you."

"You're right. He didn't."

"Bastard. I would have danced every dance with you. But I guess I actually care.

"Anyways, you and he finally came back. I was happy, though I knew I'd probably never physically see you again, but knowing you were in the area made me happy.

"Of course, I wasn't satisfied… If ya know what I mean. I still needed to…ya know…

"And then Mai showed up one day at car shop I work at. Her oil needed changing."

I interrupt him. "Literally, or are you being symbolic."

"I meant both."

I roll my eyes. "Wow… That was actually subtle…"

He continues. "So, while one of the guys worked on that, Mai talked to me while I was on break. We had a really nice chat and then we sort of just…got frisky.

"It was great though. And after that, she offered for me to stay with her at her place in Tokyo. So I did. Moved out of my dad's apartment and stayed with Mai.

"It was great for the first few weeks. I loved Mai ever since I first saw her in Duelist Kingdom. 'Course, I was stupid back then. It finally died to just friendship, and then only after I graduated did we actually engage in feelings for each other.

"But then Mai got a call to promote Duel Monsters in America and possibly be the spokeswoman for it in America. She left for America, saying she had to think of her career first and left me. I haven't heard from her since, but I hear about her stuff she does. She's doing all right I can tell.

"And then that's when my dad was arrested, the apartment permanently relinquished and I found a place in Tokyo. Then, like two days after that, I found you.

"Don't get me wrong; I still had a crush on you, but Mai leaving me hurt me. I was so upset I thought I'd try and have you live with me to fight off the loneliness. It also didn't hurt that you were female and I liked you. So we jumped each other, and I was so desperate… So I fucked your brains out. After that though, I felt kinda bad for not being a more attentive lover, so I made up for it by going slow the second time around.

"You can basically say that you were a rebound at first, but it developed into a lot more."

You'd think I'd be mad at that. I was Joey's rebound. I was practically a whore with a coupon. _Free sex for all you sad fellas out there!_ But I am not mad. I'm not even hurt.

I used Joey. Joey used me. It's what I deserve.

"Are you mad?" He asks me.

"No. You used me, I used you. We're even now."

"Eh, yeah." He sighs. "I have more stuff to tell you."

"Like what? That was already a long story."

"Well… You really should know something else about me…"

I get suspicious. "What? What else is there?" _Just how much do I not know?_

"Ok, let me start from the beginning.

"Back in middle school was when I met Tristan. He became my pal, and eventually my best friend. We were both street smart and could fight within an inch of our lives, but the difference between me and him was that I was such a troubled kid I joined a gang. Tristan's life was no cakewalk, but he wasn't nearly as bad off as I was.

"Being in that gang was awful. I never liked it from the beginning, but for awhile I was convinced that it was where I belonged. No one loved me, no one cared. And the things I saw…" He shudders. "Awful.

"There was drugs everywhere, and alcohol, lots of violence, and the leader of the gang even initiated a couple of rapes. I was clean. I didn't do drugs, obviously I was one of the top fighters so I knew the violence, but I wouldn't rape anyone.

"The leader, Hirutani, didn't like how I was clean. He wanted me to get high, wasted, and get laid. I didn't mind beating up dudes, but hurting girls was just wrong. And since my dad was an alcoholic, I was turned off by drugs and beer. Not my thing.

"Hirutani had me beaten up. He got all the guys in the gang to, heh, gang up on me. I did pretty well. I can fight off at least five dudes at a time, but this was the whole gang. After I knocked out a few, the rest just charged me. I was no better than ground meat after they were done with me. I couldn't move, my ankle was sprained, if not broken, and my face was almost unrecognizable. They did their job.

"And then, and I will never forget what he said to me, Hirutani said, "_You're no more than my little lap dog, obeying my every command. Don't defy me, Joey._" And then his face took on this horrible grin. _"Now take it like a bitch!"_ he yelled at me, and then…" Joey closes his eyes as we walk closer to the game shop. A tear drops down. "He raped me."

I grab his hand. I stroke his arm. "Joey… I… Oh my god, you poor baby…"

"Yeah… But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" I nod. "Yeah…"

"After that, the cops got involved and the gang broke up temporarily. I finally got out of it and told Tristan everything. That's why Tristan is like a brother to me. But you should know one more thing…"

"What?"

"Well… After what happened, I told Tristan that it bothered me that that prick stole my virginity… As dumb as that sounds and he convinced me that no one can take it… You can only give it. And, um, I gave it to him…"

"You had sex with Tristan?"

Joey defends himself. "We were kids, just curious, and he comforted me! It was not gay at all! Just two brothers… Oh jeez that sounds worse…"

I chuckle. "I actually understand what you mean though. It's like when two best friends take baths together. You two are just that close."

"Yeah… But I have to confess… I am bisexual. I had a semi-crush on Tristan, and he was just curious, and since we loved each other like brothers, we did it. Only once. Tristan realized he could never love me more than a brother, but he didn't mind that we gave up our virginities to each other. It was like a pact; we can never _not _be brothers now. But I discovered that I could still love a man, so while Tristan knows he can only love a lady, I can love both."

I am really thrown off by Joey's stories. It doesn't bother me that I was his rebound, that he's bisexual, that he was raped. I accept him no matter what. I accept people no matter what, unless they're creepy stalkers. I'm surprised he is that comfortable with me, and I feel all the more closer to him.

"So that's basically my story. You okay with that?" I nod. "Heh, that's good." He hugs me. "Well, we're at the game shop now. Might as well party." He winks. "You ready."

I kiss him very tenderly. "Of course. Let's have a good time…with our friends."

He smiles at that. "Yeah." We enter the doors to the loud cheering of Tea, Yugi, Tristan, Duke, Ryou, Serenity, Grandpa Mutou, and three dark skinned people I have never met in my life. Yugi introduces them to me.

"Loryn, these are the Ishtars. This is Marik," he points to the youngest male, tan with lavender eyes and blond hair, "Ishizu," he points to the only female of the trio, taller than the boy with black hair down to her waist and beautiful blue eyes, "and Odion," the last male who is the largest man I have ever seen, bald with a ponytail at the bottom of his head, a tattooed face and green eyes. He smiles kindly at me.

"I give you my humblest congratulations, Miss Loryn," he speaks to me in accented English. I figure out that they are probably from the Middle East. Their features are clearly not Japanese. I blush at his humble nature. Ishizu smiles and bestows a gift in my hands. "Hello, Loryn. Yugi has told me you were blessed with three joyous bundles. I knitted as fast as possible three little hats for your children, in gender neutral colors. You may open it when you wish. I believe Yugi said there will be presents later, so it is fine if you choose to open it then." Her English is flawless.

I smile at her sweetness. "I am deeply honored, Miss Ishizu. Your kindness humbles me."

Marik turns to me and hugs me. I'm a bit thrown off, since hugging strangers isn't something I'm into, but I graciously accept it. "Babies are so exciting! I hope I get to babysit them!" He seems quite sweet, perhaps a bit naïve too, and his English is also accented. Ryou walks up to him and pats him on the back. It was almost a bit too friendly.

"I do say, congratulations Loryn. I hope I can also be one of your choices for a babysitter."

I smile at him. I haven't seen him in quite some time. "Thank you, Ryou-chan."

Yugi gently grabs my arm. "I'll lead you to where the presents are. You can lace that there, and then we can party!" His smile is so genuine, lighting up his violet eyes. I place the gift on the table, amid many other gifts.

"When did everyone find the time to present me with gifts?" I ask. "How long have you all known?"

Yugi answers as he takes me to his living room, "We've known for about a week. Tristan didn't know it was supposed to be a secret and then when Joey told him there were triplets, we all got excited." I can't help but be honored. These people who I haven't known for very long flatter me with their kindness and genuine happiness for my pregnancy, even if I'm not too pleased with it.

"I'm honored," I simply say, and we all start to play party games.

xXx

The party finally starts to quell as the day grows late. We are all sitting in Yugi's living room, having just finished a game of Frazzle, a game Yugi's grandpa picked up when he went to America a few weeks ago. I am familiar with it.

"Of course Loryn won," Duke jokes. "It _is_ an American game."

I laugh. "I only played it once! I'm quite surprised I even won!" It was interesting playing with them. Since most of the people in this room were Japanese, a lot of the words they shouted out were Japanese. I had to explain it to them when they noticed all the letters were in English, and a quick lesson on English letters and _romaji_ was initiated with the help of Grandpa Mutou. Tristan and Joey shouted out the least, since they had trouble understanding the connection between English and Japanese. Ishizu was right behind me though on the game board. She was a tough competitor, since she knew three languages other than Egyptian, Japanese, and English.

Of course, when I picked the food category, and the letter U popped up, the room was quiet since I could not for the life of me think of a food that started with U, and neither could Ishizu. Then, Joey simply said, "_Umeboshi_…?" and we had to give it to him. It was the one word he got right the entire time. We were all surprised.

Grandpa Mutou puts the game up as we all engage in light chit chat. "So Joey, how are things at the car shop?" Yugi asks politely.

"Eh, everything's peachy. I haven't been this happy with a job in a long time."

Tristan chortles. "Better than your lone paper boy route?"

Joey laughs along with him. "_Way_ better." Everyone laughs except for me and the Ishtars, who seem to miss the joke. We chuckle hesitantly.

Joey looks at me. "Oh, you don't know. I was a paper boy in middle school. I can't believe I didn't tell ya that!"

_Yeah, considering you told me __**everything**__ else!_

We all chuckle when Tea asks, "So Loryn, what's it like living with that knucklehead over there?"

Joey mocks offense, but I answer her. "Hahaha, Joey is a very kind person. I'm quite glad to have started a relationship with him." We share a look. To everyone it seems tender, but it holds so much more. Joey and I both know I'll probably be gone by the end of the month.

"It's just crazy though!" Tea continues. "I mean, you were _engaged_ to Kaiba, and then left him for Joey. It's just amazing really."

I chuckle. "It didn't happen exactly like that… I didn't leave Seto for Joey, but after I left, I did run into Joey."

The Ishtars seem astounded. "You were screwing Kaiba?" Marik bluntly suggests. His sister gives him a reproving slap on the knee.

"Marik!"

Marik chortles at his sister's response. "Well, gee, I thought he only screwed the rules…"

I laugh at that. "Hahaha, Ishizu, don't worry, I'm not offended by Marik's statement. If anything he's quite right."

Marik looks at his sister and rolls his eyes. "See? Not everyone is offended by my tactlessness." He turns his attention to me. "Why would you leave Kaiba? I mean, he's frigging rich!"

This talk of him makes me nervous, especially since he's in the hospital now. "It's rather complicated…"

Marik snorts. "I have time."

Ishizu fixes him with a sisterly stare. "Marik, this isn't the time to talk of such things."

Grandpa nods. "I agree. What's happened is in the past and now we must try and enjoy the present." He inclines his head to me. "The future as well."

I nod. "I completely agree."

Joey coughs to bring the attention to him. We all look. "Not for nothin', but speaking of Kaiba…"

My heart stops. He could be saying anything now. "Joey, I doubt this is the time to mention that…"

He looks at me. "They should know." I sigh. "Kaiba's in the hospital," Joey utters.

The room seems to have gotten chilly. Yugi's breath hitches. "What…?"

"Yeah, apparently he tried to commit suicide…"

The whole room of friends simply shout, "WHAT?"

I nod. "It's true. Mokuba has been calling me lately, saying his brother isn't the same after I left and now he's in the hospital, because I assume he couldn't handle it anymore."

Tristan whistles. "When did all this happen?"

"About a few hours ago, actually," Joey replies. "Loryn wanted to see him in the hospital, but I said we should wait."

I cough. "Actually, you said he doesn't need me anymore."

The room gets chillier with the sudden tension. I relieve it by saying, "But I think you're right though. It _was_ only a break up. He needs to get over it." Everyone sighs in relief. "I think the least I could do though is to visit him to make sure he won't do it again. Another talk may clear things up."

Serenity, who has been quiet the entire party, pipes up. "I don't mean to pry, but how badly did it exactly end…?"

I look at her. "I packed my things while he slept, wrote him a letter, and left during the night. He woke up, I assume, to my absence."

"You assume? The guy has to wake up eventually…" Duke scoffs.

"Seto is an extremely light sleeper. He might have known I was gone the minute I left the bedroom." I say with cold calculation. "Regardless, though, it was a rather sudden ending to our seemingly happy life together, and it certainly wasn't the nicest way to end an engagement."

Marik gasps. "So not only were you _screwing_ him, you were _engaged_ too?" I have a feeling I may become best friends with this kid. He reacts perfectly to gossip.

"Yes, Marik, I was his fiancée."

"Ra damn, I think you are the most ballsy female I have ever met in my life! If things don't go well with Joey, call me!" Ryou gasps. "So she can tell me all the details! Really Ryou, I wouldn't dream of cheating on you."

My original assumption was right. Marik and Bakura are seeing each other.

I smile. "I hope it won't jinx us, but Marik, if you wish to hear the juicy details of my life then I will happily call you."

He pumps a fist in ecstasy. "Awesome! I do wish you and Joey luck though."

"Thank you." I sigh. "Enough about me, everyone, let's talk of something more important, or at least not so boring."

The conversation goes from talking about eating fish heads to knitting sweaters for a grandma's approval to unicorns in outer space. However, I am much uninvolved in these conversations because of everything I saw and heard today.

Seto committed suicide over me. Or, rather, he _attempted_ it. I am shocked and hurt that he would feel the need to leave this life for good over me. He is Seto Kaiba, for crap's sake! He can easily find a new lover!

But I forget that this is what the media says. Seto is not one for promiscuous ideals. Once he finds a mate, he mates for life, I assume.

I will visit him. I'm not heartless, and I still do care. Obviously. Joey and I won't last forever now that this has happened. I was honestly ready to be committed to Joey for the rest of my life, after all, he is a really sweet guy and is clearly devoted to me, but now, seeing that in my heart I still have feelings for Seto and seeing him hurt has overwhelmed me, I can't even second guess this. Seto and I are soul mates.

There had to be a reason why I saw him in that gurney. Life doesn't just do things like that for nothing. This was destiny.

**REVIEW!**

**Also I love how I just threw in some yaoi. I had to. Wait, I think I meant shonen-ai... Whatever. XD You'll never convince me Marik is straight. NEVER.**


	10. One Man's Happiness

**Hey guys! I am so sorry this chapter is so late! I would go and blame it on my craptastic internet that was cut off and forced my family into near bankruptcy, but I can't. Partially because I hadn't worked on it. At all. In fact, I didn't actually give it its title until I was completely done with it. But I've been doing that… ^^; The other reason I haven't worked on ANYTHING is because life catches up to me. I start college on the 29th, and I work at a diner now. I've been struggling to get registered for college and crap so I'm like freaking out about everything. No time to try and write smutty stories! XD**

**Speaking of smut, I had a funny encounter with my BFF. She had walked in and said, "What are you doing on my lap top?" in this really cute, joking kind of voice. I said, _with a straight face_, "Reading dirty stories." And I was. XD Damn fan fiction… But she gets me. ;)**

**Ummm, let me think… Any thoughts or warnings for this chapter…? Oh, it's fluffy and sad. It probably feels rushed but that's because I just wanted to get it done! Hahahaha, but yeah. Also, there is some lovely and graphic dry humping coming up within five seconds of reading this so yay! But it's an M story so you should expect my really awful attempts at smut and humor. XD ALSO, I'm sure I attempted to shatter the 4th wall a few times... You'll see. And there are a few Abridged references here and there, but it's now impossible for me to write a YGO story without the Abridged. DAMN YOU LK! WHY DO I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH?**

**I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. Chapter 10 will come up faster, since I worked on it while I was waiting for my internet to come back. I've already got a few paragraphs in, so it should be up here soon. :)**

**Also, Miko Hayashi actually helped the idea for this chapter's beginning to come up. So if it offends you, blame her. Nah, just kidding. You should find it as humorous as I did!**

**Hmmm, I'm really surprised a sad attempt to escape my problems as a fifteen year old (because that's exactly what FaB is) has actually developed a small yet dedicated following and thus has forced me to make a sequel that is twice as popular as it. You all are the best. Please review, because it will make me very happy. :D**

Chapter 9 One Man's Happiness is Another Man's Depression

I wake up to some very violent dry humping. A pair of very strong hands holds onto my hips tightly as a hard, long object attempts to rip past my pants and thrust into my derriere. There is quiet moaning; something along the lines of "Harder…faster…" and the assault to my butt gets more violent, more desperate. Before I can even react, I feel a warm, wet substance shoot out onto my backside. Joey just came all over my ass.

"Joey! What the fuck?" I yell as the hands loosen their grip and I turn around.

He is fast asleep.

I slap him awake. He stirs violently.

"Wha' was tha' for?" He drawls unclearly. Talking to Joey while he's half asleep is like talking to a drunkard.

"You just tried to anally rape me!" I say as I get up and show him the mess he made. "What kind of wet dream were you having?"

Joey sits and blushes. He was stark naked with ejaculate dripping out. "Damn, tha' dream seemed so real… Sorry… I don't think you wanna know…"

"Try me." I glare at him. "Make my day. Just _who_ were you having dream sex with?"

"Oh God this is embarrasin'…" He looks away. "I mean, really. Don't make me tell you…"

I straighten my posture, crossing my arms and tap my foot impatiently. "You better, or I will personally castrate you."

"Kaiba." He says, burrowing his face in his hands. "I was totally screwing Kaiba…"

I'm not sure how to react. A part of me wants to just vomit and cry from the visual, but the other part of me wants to laugh and cheer him on. _Damn you yaoi fan fiction writers!_

"You're kidding right?" is all I can say. What an awful situation to be in!

"No… I was… Oh God, I don't want to relive it…" I snort.

"So you don't want to relive it, but you were definitely enjoying it…"

He stares at me, a bit hurt. "That's not funny."

"It's hilarious actually. I want you to tell me all about it."

He sighs. "I was in a dog suit, and… Well you can get the rest."

I laugh so hard. Peals of laughter erupt from my mouth as I try to stop for a breather. "Wait… He…was screwing…you? Oh my gosh are you a closet furry…?" I fall to the floor, laughing all the way down.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you!" He hides under the covers as I use the bed to get up.

"Oh don't be embarrassed. I actually conceived his babies, so don't feel bad. Nothing is worse than when your babies' father forgets a condom. He's a sexual deviant, and this honestly doesn't surprise me."

Joey giggles from under the covers. "Heh, you're right." His head pokes through. "We both got screwed by him." He laughs at his pun that I'm sure even he understood. "We should probably shower."

It's Monday. I have work. Seto had attempted suicide just yesterday. The moment I'm reminded of him, my entire demeanor becomes somber.

"Yeah, we probably should," I simply say, shrugging the idea off.

"We could shower together! Saving water and all…" Perhaps he noticed how sad I've become, perhaps he's just horny. He did just have amazing, dream-sex with my ex.

"Sure," I say. "Why not?" I'm still a bit numb from yesterday, trying to not let any of it get to me, trying to be happy since I am with someone who cares about me and I have a dream job. I should be ecstatic about my life.

"Do ya wanna…?"

I stop him. "Joey, as appealing as shower sex sounds, there are three lives developing in my womb, and I'd rather not have them be invaded by your penis."

He nods. "Of course."

I strip off my now soiled clothing, as he does too. I turn the water on and get in. Joey follows behind.

I turn my back to him as I start washing my hair. His hands caress my sides and his fingers gently tickle me. His left hand reaches higher, cupping a breast, as his right hand travels lower.

"Joey… What did I say?" I turn around and give him a harsh stare. "No sex."

He smirks like a play boy. "I know, but I had an idea."

"What kind of idea?" My eyes narrow.

"I know it freaks you out to have normal sex, but what if I penetrated a different region?"

I scoff. "You're not suggesting…!"

"Yeah I am." He winks. "I've done it before, so you don't have to worry…"

Most would probably wonder why I find "normal" sex so unappealing right now. After all, I had done it quite a few times before I even realized I was pregnant. It's sort of like when you eat something unfamiliar and only after you eat it do you find out what it is. Right away, the food is no longer appealing, but you can't deny you enjoyed it, if you did. However, you will probably never eat it again. The same goes for sex after you find out you're pregnant. Many couples still do it, but some don't like the risks of premature labor or just the thought of babies being assaulted by a raging boner. It's not a nice thought.

But anal sex… Anal sex can't be so bad. But I throw the idea aside.

"You're not anally raping me again." He pouts. "Sorry, Joey, but I'm not a sex slave. And even if I agreed, we have work in about an hour. From all the slash I've read, it takes quite some time to 'prepare' for anal sex."

He shrugs. "Eh, it's fine. It was only a suggestion."

I shrug too and continue washing myself.

After the shower, I get dressed for work. Joey is making breakfast again. Today, we're having tamagoyaki and steamed rice. To me, an American, tamagoyaki is basically a fancy way of saying omelet. To the Japanese, rice is their oatmeal or grits. It's served with _everything_. Good thing I love carbs!

"So I see today we're having a very traditional Japanese breakfast. What is there to drink, Joey?"

He looks at me as he flips an egg. "Eh, since we're goin' for the traditional touch, I was thinking some of that yogurt drink in the fridge."

"The one called Calpis?"

He nods. "That's the one!"

I don't think the Japanese realize just how wrong that name sounds for a milk and yogurt-like drink. It doesn't help that the beverage also looks like another bodily fluid that is released through the same organ…

"Well, okay then," I reply, unaffected by the sheer idea of drinking something that sounds like bovine urine, and looks like semen. I pull the beverage out and place it in the middle of the table. I set the table and sit as I watch Joey finish making breakfast. He's wearing jeans and a grey t-shirt today, and even though it's not much of a fashion statement, he clearly knows how to flaunt that body. Or all his clothes shrink in the wash. It's probably the latter.

The jeans he wears is of a light-wash, and they fit around that tight butt like they were made for him. They're not too tight or too loose around his groin or thighs, so I still get a view of their shape, yet it's just a tease. The bottom legs fit well around his calves and show off the muscle in those lower legs. As for the shirt, it fits across his chest showing off his pectorals and deltoids. Joey has such a nice body, and one can tell he takes care of it.

He sets the food down on the table and uses his chopsticks to transfer some of the morsels to his plate. I do the same. We eat quietly for a bit before he finally pipes up with a question.

"So, what are your plans for today?"

I know what he is implying. I told him yesterday. After work, I am going to head to the hospital to make sure Seto is okay.

And there's not a damn thing he can do about it!

"Well, like I said yesterday, I'm going to visit Seto after work. I need to make sure he's okay."

He sighs, finishing his eggs. "But you'll leave me if you see him." He makes a pout form on his face. He looks downright cute!

"Joey, just because I'll see him doesn't mean I'll leave. I'm sure if he's being a super ass I won't." I finish my eggs as well. "But knowing he tried to kill himself because of me, when I'm carrying his children, truly upsets me."

He puts his dishes in the sink, rinsing them out. "He treated you like shit though. He deserved it, I think."

I glare. "You can't possibly mean that."

He nods as he takes the dishes away. "I do. I hate Kaiba. Everyone knows this."

_That's not what the fan girls think…_ But I decide not to voice that opinion. I don't want to add fuel to the fire.

I get up, preparing to leave for work. I walk past Joey but he takes me into this monster hug, throws me on the couch, and lies on top of me. It's all he is doing. He's just lying on top of me, probably trying to prevent my inevitable escape into the working world.

"It's my choice to visit him, Joey!" I yell from the couch, trying to fight him off. "I'm not having him die without knowing he's going to be a father!"

"You can tell him just as easily over the phone! The minute you see him, you'll leave me!" Joey cries, lying on top of me so I can't get up. Surely this isn't healthy for my babies.

_My babies… Oh my gosh I'm having children…If there is a God, he must think this is one sick joke._

"It's not polite to just leave him hanging like that! And get off!" I try to push him, but he adjusts so he isn't on my stomach anymore. "Joey, you might suffocate me if you keep this act up."

He nuzzles into my neck. "Can we at least fuck one last time?" He presses his body against mine. There aren't any invading limbs, but there might be if I don't fight it.

My entire body freezes. "Are you seriously suggesting that?"

He gets up. "NO! I was just kidding! I'm not like Kaiba!" He makes a deadpanned face. "He really messed you up. All the more reason to not go back to him."

"Like I can help it!" Tears well up in my eyes. Damn these pregnancy hormones. "He meant so much to me Joey!" I cry, "He was my first _everything_! _Everything_! He was the first man to show me affection without making me feel weird, the first guy I ever made love to, and the first guy that didn't think I was on some sort of drug! He promised he'd take care of me and I know he will! He… He loves me…" Tears stream down at this point. "I left him when I shouldn't have. We should have just gone to counseling."

"But…"

"_JOEY!_" I yell in my lower register. I sound like a demon. "Get. Off." I threaten through gritted teeth.

Joey does so. He gets up, simply sitting on the couch now, looking downtrodden. I guess I do that to people who cling to me. You know, I totally trample their hearts.

But it's what I do. I've done it to every person that has ever clung to me. Joey is no different.

I sit up, looking at my body. Somehow, Joey managed to wrinkle sweat pants. How does one go about doing that?

"I'm leaving," I simply say. _Déjà vu?_ "I'll come back, but probably not for a while. Seto and I need to have a serious chat." I slip into a thick hooded-sweater, which makes no sense given that it is a blazing summer in Tokyo and I'm totally pregnant. But my cold attitude towards Joey has frozen me. I feel vulnerable now, and I need a security. Also, my stomach is starting to poke out. It isn't much, but I feel it, I see it and I don't like it. So a sweater it is.

"Good bye, Joey. Have a good day." I open the door and walk out of his sight.

Now, I don't like knowing I ripped this kid to pieces. I don't enjoy breaking hearts. But some people have it coming.

My phone starts ringing in my pocket, buzzing from the vibrate function and making fairy-tale harp noises that sound like it came from a wand-whisking, magical adventure.

It's Tea.

"Hello?" I answer, trying not to sound rude, since I totally just insulted my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend.

"Hey, do you have a moment?"

"I have several. What is it, Tea?"

"It's about you and Joey. And Kaiba as well."

I trot down the stairs, trying not slip, but I do anyway. I catch myself on the railing as I say. "What about them?"

"I have this awful suspicion that your triplets are not Joey's. I thought about it, since it could be a possibility, you have been with him for awhile, but I don't think the timeline matches up. And I don't think you could find out about triplets after being with Joey for like, five weeks, and triplets are usually discovered at six or later. Also, you guys seemed kind of miffed yesterday at the party, and from what Tristan told me you guys have a really happy type of relationship. Either you bluff around Tristan, or Tristan just doesn't know _shit._" I laugh at her words. "I honestly always wanted to say that," she giggles.

I take in her words carefully and counter with my own.

"You're right on that Tristan doesn't know anything, though I'm surprised Joey hasn't told him. And how do you know so much about pregnancy, Tea?"

She sighs. "Unlike my friends, I paid attention in class, and I took an online course for Home Economics. I know what I'm talking about."

I sigh. "And you're completely right. They are not Joey's kids."

She gasps. "I…didn't think you'd admit it so openly."

I shrug, which is useless since she's _on the phone_. Perhaps it's a knee-jerk reaction. "I'm not going to lie if you already know. I'm not a liar by definition, Tea. I'm a manipulator at best."

She hums. "Well, now that I know, then may I ask something?"

"Of course." I walk to work slowly, since I want to have this conversation last a while. It's been a while since I had a real conversation with an intelligent female.

"Are you planning on staying with Joey?"

Her question, though on the phone, seems to reverberate across my ear drums and into the mass of people in front of me. It stops all time, the wind stops blowing, and it feels like even the cars have stopped running just because of her statement.

Am I that obvious? Do people really think I'm so awful as to ditch my new beau for my old one just because he's fathered my unborn children?

Yes. Yes, I am that awful.

"To be completely honest, I don't think Joey and I will last much longer. He's already had an emotional tirade this morning when I said I would leave work and head to Domino to specifically see Seto in the hospital. I'm simply going to tell Seto what's going on, how he's going to be a dad, and I feel I owe that much to him. I dangled him on a string (apparently) and now he's hopelessly lost, waiting for me to lasso him again."

Tea laughs lightly, a small chuckle at my lengthy explanation. "I understand actually. I don't think you and Joey were very compatible to begin with."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Tea says, and I hear her adjust herself. She must have just woken up when she called. "I mean, yes, Joey loves you, but I can tell you aren't satisfied with him. I doubt it's the sex. From what I know, you don't care about sex."

"Not entirely true. Sex is sex. I like a good lay every now and then, but Seto liked it every day. I don't have the stamina or the capacity for that."

Tea is silent for a few seconds, presumably processing what I just said. "Well, okay then. What I mean is: Joey doesn't intellectually satisfy you right?"

I sigh at her suggestion. Tea hit the nail on the head. "You're completely right. I don't mean to be rude, but Joey is downright stupid sometimes. He's sweet, absolutely good to me, but if I even attempt to make a witty statement, he either takes it seriously or simply doesn't respond to it. I don't have the capacity to stay with foolish people who don't understand the difference between a metaphor and a simile. Seto may have been a depraved sexual deviant with the brain capacity of Einstein and Hitler combined, and Joey may be a simple bumpkin with a good heart, but when it comes down to it, I need someone who gets me, and if it's the sexual deviant with Hitler tendencies, so be it." I stand outside the studio. "You get me Tea. At least, I hope you do. Joey and I have entirely different interests. He was happy about me being pregnant. I was horrified."

"You know, I don't think Seto got you either. Yes, you're both smart, freakishly smart, but he and you had different interests as well. He's not the artist that you are. He's cold and calculated. You're warm and impulsive." She sighs. "Maybe you and Joey are good together… You're a good influence on him…"

"Whatever the case is, I still need someone to father my kids. And regardless of who I stay with, Seto will know about his children. I won't deny the kids or Seto that."

Tea shifts again. "Hmm, you're right on that. I think all children should know who their parents are. If they don't, it only leads to personal anguish later."

I nod. "That's so true. I must go now Tea. I just arrived at my workplace. Shall we talk later?"

"Hmmm, if you're planning on seeing Kaiba later, it may be best if we don't. I'll keep in touch though. Call me if you need me."

"I will Tea. Thank you for being such a good friend."

"No problem! It's what I do best!"

We bid each other good bye and I walk into work.

Tea brought in some light on my situation. She's entirely right. Seto and I have very different interests. In fact, he's a Scorpio and I am a Sagittarius. Water and fire don't exactly mix well, but they can make things so steamy. Joey is an air sign, Aquarius. You could say he fuels my fire, yet I consume him.

But the horoscope is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Sometimes it can be true, sometimes it can't.

_Like I care about this shit_, I think to myself as I enter the studio. _Just gotta keep truckin'_.

Whatever the hell that means.

xXx

I feel like I'm so alone. Not in an emo-I'm-gonna-go-cut-myself-now way, but in an actual way that feels like I may never have a real companion again. I feel decimated, like a part of me was ripped away, never to return to my heart.

My brother attempted suicide. I feel like a failure.

I _knew_ what was going on with him. I _knew_ he needed help. I got him help. But, as it turns out, the "help" I got him was what almost killed him. The pills had made him hallucinate. The doctor prescribed more. She dropped off the face of the earth, but her license was revoked anyway.

I sit in the plastic chair, very alone, cold, and destroyed. The nurses keep saying things like "You can go home. He'll be fine," but I won't leave him. I don't hear them. I feel like Seto and I are a thousand miles away from this world. He is lost, possibly in a coma, and I am lost in spirit and in thoughts. I reach out to touch his hand, try to hold, to make him wake up, but he's so far away. I wish he'd wake up. I wish he'd forget all the bad things that happened so he could be happy again.

But he won't be happy. She took it all away. She took the light and hope with her when she left us alone that night.

I've been sitting here for hours. Almost two days actually now that I think about it. I haven't eaten, even though the nurses keep bringing food. Roland stops by to make sure I'm all right. He brought a blanket from home, and I am currently wrapped in it, watching my brother, awaiting his return to this world. The sooner he wakes, the sooner he will come home.

The doctor said they induced a temporary coma, to allow him to heal from the head trauma, which is ironic because he apparently has a concussion. After he awakes, he will be sent to a psych ward for observation. They want to make sure he won't be suicidal again. They can't guarantee that. I can't guarantee that. One of my brother's real flaws: He is obsessive to the point of being compulsive. He simply doesn't let things go, and if he is determined to commit suicide, then unfortunately it may happen. His obsession with Yugi was actually quite real, though not in a sexual sense. He seriously wanted to beat him and make him pay. My brother is probably really in love with the Blue Eyes White Dragon. After all, in his past, he apparently had a super hot dragon girlfriend.

He had a super hot girlfriend. Maybe not super hot, but Loryn had something about her. Has something about her. I hate to say this, but she needs to be the fuel to Seto's fire. He has become too reliant on her.

"Hey, kiddo." A soft female voice, slightly deeper than a normal one yet feminine enough to not be recognized as "pre-pubescent boy," addresses me. I turn around and see her.

"You came."

She nods. "I had to. I couldn't abandon him like that. It's not in my nature."

I look at her. Loryn seems so exhausted. "How are you?"

"Awful actually. I'm overworked, underpaid, heartbroken, and pregnant." She shrugs.

I look at her quizzically and smile. "Your sense of humor hasn't changed. You're so dry."

She snorts. "Ha, you think I'm kidding? Everything I said was true."

I tilt my head, confused. "You're… pregnant?"

She nods. "Unfortunately."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be here. Joey might get upset…" I look away, half-lying because I want her here. Seto needs her. But she and Joey are having a baby…

"They're not Joey's, Mokuba. They're actually the other reason why I'm here."

"Wait, what? Not Joey's…? _They?_ You're having multiple babies…?"

She facepalms. "Thank goodness you're cute. They are going to be the Kaiba triplets. Your brother is going to be a father. That's why I'm here. To give him reason to live, for his children's sakes. And no, you may not rub my belly."

"How the hell did you know I was going to ask that?"

"Because everyone asks that." She glares mockingly. "All joking aside, how is your brother? I don't mean to be blunt, but he doesn't look well."

"Obviously."

"You know what I mean Mokuba. He looks comatose." She winces. "Is he?"

I nod. "The doctors induced a coma to let him heal from the trauma. Which is kinda dumb because he has a concussion."

"That's a fucking paradox right there!"

"I know."

She rolls her eyes. "Where the hell do they get their degrees? Seriously."

I smile. "I missed you."

She smiles back, which illuminates the bags under her eyes. She looks so weary. "I did too, actually." She walks up to my brother, stroking his hand. "He started smoking, didn't he?"

My eyes widen in shock. "How did you…?"

"My dad is a smoker. You brother has already gotten smoker's hands. His nails are turning yellow and his skin looks grey. Also, he reeks of it."

"Wow. I'm impressed." I watch as her hands move up to his face. She caresses his cheek gently.

"Don't be. I was raised around smokers my whole life. No amount of skin cream or Botox can ever fix them. They will always be grey, their eyes, teeth and nails will always be yellow, and they will always smell."

"I'm offended. How dare you say I smell." Loryn jumps back as my brother's voice comes literally out of nowhere. He opens his eyes. "Doctors here are pathetic. They call this a coma?"

She laughs. Her whole body shakes with the peals of laughter erupting form her mouth. "You scared me, Seto! Hahahaha, how much have you heard?"

"Everything." He pointedly stares at her stomach. "Inside your womb are my heirs. Three little Kaibas. How ironic."

She coughs after choking herself on laughter. "How is it ironic?"

"Because I have three Blue Eyes White Dragons. You do realize their entire nursery will be Blue Eyes White Dragon themed."

She stares at him with an enormous amount of shock on her face. "So, I don't even have to grovel? You're already taking me back?"

"Of course." He gives her his trademark glare. "I almost died because of you. Of course I want you back. You better leave that mutt!"

The room has gotten colder. Loryn freezes as Seto's icy, piercing glare penetrates her defenses she worked up and renders them completely ineffectual.

Her fire melts him though. "Don't tell me what to do Seto Kaiba! I could leave again and let you die! I should, after the way you just spoke to me!" She glares too, but hers is like a laser: hot and bright, and very dangerous.

Seto backs off, which is really surprising because my brother never gives up so easily. I'm completely shocked. "I'm sorry… I… I missed you… And for some reason, though I want to say so much to you, like how much I love you and how happy I am to hear about your pregnancy, you just bring out all these…_mean_ traits and I just want to yell at you and demean you… Yet I don't want to." He looks at her again, his eyes shimmering. "You bring out the worst in me. You're a paradox."

She sighs after a moment of silence. "I'm a bitch. A hot blooded bitch. I'm very selfish and needy when confronted in a bad mood, and I get mad over the dumbest things. My temper rules me. I don't like it when people disrespect me and I hate it when you try and make me your insubordinate, or if anyone in general patronizes me. I'm not stupid after all. _You_ bring out the worst in me. You're infuriating."

They are silent as they absorb what the other has said. Loryn twiddles her thumbs and stares at the floor, adjusting her feet and pointing her toes inward. Seto stares at the ceiling, his eyes showing how his mind is calculating the situation, a little glossy from being lost in thought, like an automaton.

I take a deep breath. I'm actually going to say it. "Maybe you're both better off alone."

They look at me. I can't believe I said that. They gasp in astonishment and I just blubber like a thief caught red-handed.

"Before you guys freak out, let me just say-"

"He's right." Loryn turns to Seto, cutting me off. "We are better off alone. I was so happy being by myself. Paying bills was hard, but everything I did was because I chose to do it. I missed you, but I didn't miss being controlled."

"I've been alone my whole life. I can always get used to it again."

"But we both know you won't. After all, look at where my leaving put you. _In the hospital._" Loryn shakes her head. "This isn't right though. People are gregarious and magnanimous. We crave affection and community. The fact we are two individuals who loathe it shows how we are truly sociopathic." She turns her head as if to keep her other thoughts to herself, "Though I'm probably more of a neuropath and you a psychopath."

"Regardless of our mental conditions, I think we need to grow up, seek counseling, and get over it. I miss you. I want you. And I'm taking care of our kids." Seto harrumphs as if to say the argument is over.

For now, I suppose it is. Loryn shrugs her shoulders in agreement. "I don't see why not. I said that actually today to Joey."

Seto growls. The idea of Loryn being with Joey clearly revolts him. "Don't mention that disgusting idiot in my presence. I can't even imagine how you allowed yourself to sleep amongst a dog. I hope you don't have fleas."

She shrugs. "Joey is a good person. He was very good to me and kept me fed. That was all I really cared about."

Seto glares as if he can see there's more. I really hope there isn't. "Please tell me you didn't fornicate with that mutt."

"Fine. I didn't." Loryn looks away as she answers, which totally means she's lying.

"That's a whole new low for you. I hope you realize I will never sleep with you again until you sanitize yourself."

She turns her head sharply and hisses, "Then consider yourself celibate."

Again, there's an icy silence. Seto sighs. "I apologize. I'm sure you did sanitize yourself."

Loryn continues glaring. "Huh. At least Joey managed to make me cum _every time_."

I don't think I've ever seen Seto so pale. His whole face lacks any skin tone he had. "Every… time?" He manages to ask.

She nods her head voraciously, practically gleeful in his horror. "Joey and I managed to have sex thirty times in one day. His stamina far outranks yours." She winks. "I bet you're jealous."

"I'm disgusted. You're practically a harlot; you fornicate with animals."

She smirks as she says her trump card, "You want to get back with said harlot. It seems your standards are the ones that lowered."

I decide to break up this conversation. I'm starting to feel queasy after all. "Um, I'm kinda disgusted by this. I'm gonna go to the cafeteria and get a burger or something."

"Mokuba, you hate burgers," Seto says, his eyes never leaving Loryn's.

"Well, I'd rather eat one of those for the rest of my life than hear about you guys' sex lives."

Loryn chuckles. "Or your brother's lack thereof."

Even Seto has no quip for that. Loryn was the only thing he had ever touched in such a forbidden way. She wasn't much better though.

"I'm definitely gonna barf." I leave at that.

When I make it to the bottom floor to the cafeteria, I walk in with purpose. But as soon as I get a whiff of hospital food, I turn around and leave.

Forget the burgers. Talking about my brother's and his ex-fiancée's sex lives is way more appealing than the smell of that crap.

As I reach my brother's room, I hesitate before walking back in. They could be getting at it for all I know. But I hear no bed squeaking, no voices labored. All seems calm.

I tiptoe in since it is very quiet and I stop before the scene in front of me.

Within the short six minutes it took for me to walk to the cafeteria and back, Loryn had managed to crawl into the bed with Seto and fall asleep. He too was asleep, his left arm wrapped around her protectively, his hand stroking her pregnant belly subconsciously.

It was such a cute scene. I knew they loved each other all along.

Seto opens his eyes. He places a finger over his lips to tell me to be quiet. It seems one of the partners in this relationship was more desperate for his affection than she let on.

Seto whispers to me, "She's coming back. Once I'm out of the hospital, I'm going to help her move her stuff in."

"But, Seto, we can always just hire some people to do it for us…"

Seto nods. "I know that, Mokuba, but I want to see the mutt's face when I take _his_ love away, the way he did mine."

"Seto, Joey didn't steal Lor-"

"Mokuba, it's the ideal behind it. I have to prove to Joey that, in the end, I am superior in every way. _Every_ way." He looks at the girl sleeping contentedly in his arms. "I can't wait for this to be an everyday occurrence."

I smile. I love seeing my brother so happy.

"Are you happy, Seto?" I ask, tentatively.

"I haven't been this happy in quite some time," he acquiesces. "Six weeks and two days to be exact."

I knew it. Seto was counting the days all along.

**Oh fluffy endings! I'm so bad at them. XD Please review~**


	11. Jealousy and Tenderness, Lust and Love

**THIS CHAPTER CAN BLOW ME. It was so hard to write, since I had about 580348527051 different ideas, and SO many things I wanted to include, that I was like, "WHERE THE EFF IS THIS GOING?" So I skipped my math class, sat on my fat ass and basically have written for the better portion of this morning. It is almost 1 o'clock in the afternoon now, Texas time, and I'm like, "I FREAKING FINISHED YOU CHAPTER! FUCK YEAH!"**

**The title for this chapter was an even bigger bitch. Seriously. Finally, I looked at how I portrayed Joey's and Mai's relationship and how it differed from Loryn's and Seto's and realized that Seto and Loryn have got it _good_. So I entitled the chapter as such.**

**The ending part... I don't know. I have been on this art kick lately. I guess I finally came to terms that I AM an artist. For the longest time, I denied it. "No I'm not an artist! I'm not that good! It's just a hobby. I'm not a good writer. Look, I have typos! I'm not an actress. I've only played in a few plays." I ADMIT TO IT: I AM AN ARTIST! I guess I am THE totrtured artist, the stereotypical artist who is never satisfied.**

**Oh dear Isis, that IS me.**

**Also, I said fuck vet tech and am pursuing my love of theatre and the arts. I can NOT be a science major. That's to those who knew of that predicament.**

**Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, blabbity blab. I own Loryn, don't steal mah story. Enjoy and review! **

Chapter 10 Jealousy and Tenderness, Lust and Love

It was quite clear to the doctors that I was completely healthy, physically. However, because it seemed my mental stage was at a fragile stage, I was coerced into admitting myself into a psych ward for three days. I was on what they call _suicide watch_.

The term is somewhat playful to me. It is as if they are saying they will watch me commit suicide. Rather, they are simply watching for signs of "relapse."

I was never "addicted" to suicide to begin with. I do suppose, though, that some of my methods of dealing with my sexual frustration and lack of girlfriend could be seen as self mutilation. They were not healthy habits at all. Still, I find it rather ridiculous to stick me in a hole of a room with no window. It is solid white; a pitiful metal framed spring bed was in the center of the back wall. The floors are white and linoleum and smell of disinfectant that had tried to smother the penetrating odor of urine. That is it. I am lost in a void of color.

In short, it is revolting.

I miss Loryn far more than I should. My nights contain dreams that would scare even the worst horror movie murderer. Visions of Loryn taking in Wheeler's dick in various positions haunt my nights. Her gratuitous moans prevent me from sleeping deeply. And after it's all said and done, Wheeler will look my way and grin in such a condescending way. A victor's grin. And then she explodes in babies. It's a bit disconcerting.

But I stay calm. I prove no problem to the employees at the asylum, and I can only hope they'll release me from this hell hole so I may be the one making her scream.

I am not allowed anything I was once addicted to, including cigarettes. That's fine. I felt like quitting anyway.

Sometimes I lie in the bed and watch the dust particles flitter in the ill ventilated air. I could see a small air vent on the ceiling. It was covered in dust and possibly mildew. Next to the vent was a small crack in the wall, possibly due to water damage or even just a bad repair job.

I cannot believe that of all people, I would end up here. Surely I can afford a place more glamorous?

However, there is nothing glamorous about suicide watch and being considered clinically insane by most physicians. I shall have to take my penance and take it well, or I may never see the light of day, or my love's face, or even my brother, again.

xXx

It wasn't my decision to stay with Joey.

As soon as Seto and I consummated our engagement again with a kiss, he had said it would be fine if I stay with "Wheeler" until he was dismissed by the doctors. A week at most was the estimate of how much longer I'd have to stay with Joey.

I liked Joey. He's a sweet guy. But now that I'm with Seto again, all he can do is either mope around like a dog that was shot in the leg or glare at me like a dog one time too many starved. I don't like comparing him to a dog, but sometimes it's quite appropriate.

I don't like how I seem to fly from man to man. In fact, being with Joey wasn't my original intention. He was simply a rebound and a means for me to feed myself.

In my mind's ear, I hear someone start rapping, "I ain't sayin' she a gold digger!" Oh dear God, I think I am.

Joey is making some sort of noodle concoction in a wok. He stirs the noodles and stir fry vegetables with a pair of chop sticks, every now and then shifting his gaze away from the food to glare at me with such baleful eyes.

I stay sitting on the couch, trying to ignore him as I watch some sort of talk show. I can see his reflection in the TV screen and wish for him to stop moping.

A quiet and polite knock comes from the door and before I can even move to answer, Joey is already there, looking through the peep hole. He seems shocked to see who it is.

He opens the door and it is none other than Mai Valentine.

"Hey, _Joseph_," she teasingly greets. "Missed me?" She ruffles his hair fondly.

"Mai…! I… Please come in…?" Joey barely manages to peep out. "I have a roommate just so ya know…"

Her gaze on Joey shifts to me. "Oh." Perhaps it would have been fine if I did get that sex change surgery I once considered a long time ago that I conveniently left out until now. Mai looks heartbroken.

"Oh, hello Mai! It's a pleasure to meet you." I get up and bow. I realize my attire is not so proper and further suspicious. I'm wearing a tank top with no bra and very short shorts.

Oops.

"I know I was gone long Joey, but I had no idea you managed to make another conquest." She glares at him. "Yes, we broke up, but I suppose I must have romanticized you and thought you would be courteous enough to wait for me. I suppose not."

"Mai…! It's not like that." He takes her arm. She stiffens. "We…are just friends, but things are kinda complicated. She's moving out soon."

"Oh." She looks at me. "It doesn't seem that way." She glares at my very obvious lack of a bra.

"It certainly looks like I'm shacked up with Joey, but after a long day's work, I prefer to wear as little clothing as possible. Most of my platonic male friends have seen me in such attire." I gesture to myself. "You could say I'm not very modest."

"Honey, I'm not modest either, but I do have the decency to wear a robe." She raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow. I'm glad I'm not such high maintenance. "I take it you're not from around here."

"I'm from America, yes." I nod. "I am currently engaged to Seto Kaiba, so you don't have to worry about losing Joey to me. He's yours."

She laughs. It's not a victory laugh, but one of derision. Disbelief. "Seto Kaiba, engaged to you? That's a good joke." Tears of mirth escape from her eyes. I'm surprised her eye makeup didn't run or that she didn't worry it did. "He could have anyone. Why would he choose some American trash?"

"My attire may speak otherwise, but I assure you I am _not_, nor ever will be, trash. I'm sure you've seen one of these," I lift my left ring finger, the enormous daffodil shaped diamond ring the size of a quarter, "but were too proud to accept such a thing."

Mai blanches. That's what happens when you try and convince yourself of Loryn Chaise lying.

"Um… Please pardon me. I just find it hard to believe that Seto Kaiba would even dream of getting married. He doesn't seem the type." Mai nods in my direction, the furthest I will ever get a bow from her.

I nod back. "It's understandable. No worries. I often question his sanity for wanting me to be his bride." I touch my stomach subconsciously. "I'm still convinced he's doing it for…_other's_ sakes."

Mai shrugs it off. Usually, other women know when I'm lying. We do have a sixth sense for that thing, but maybe Mai just doesn't care enough about it. "Well, that's certainly interesting." She turns back to Joey. "I do hope you're compensating me for this. I hardly expected to find another woman in your apartment."

"Again, Mai, she needed a place to stay. I'm not heartless."

She shrugs again. "Expect to be properly punished then."

I wince as I imagine Mai's way of punishment. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that she is a dominatrix.

But as my thoughts of her whipping Joey while pegging him with a dildo take a turn for the worst, she turns to me, "If you're engaged to Seto Kaiba, then why are you here? Doesn't he want you with him?"

I sigh. "Mai, it's a very long and stupid story of how incompetent I am to stay on my own. I doubt you'd want to hear it."

"Hun, I could use a long tale right now. I need to hear about someone else's problems before I confront my own."

"Fine then." So Mai and I sit at the table as Joey makes some tea, more for her than for me since I hate tea, and I tell her my tale of how I banged Seto Kaiba in high school, got engaged to him, couldn't stand him anymore and left, how I nearly became homeless and starved, shacked up with Joey, and then had to go back to Seto since he became hospitalized because of me.

I conveniently leave out I'm pregnant. I like to leave out that tidbit.

"Well now," is all Mai can say as Joey finishes her draft of tea that she didn't even touch. So engrossing is my tale. "He attempted suicide?"

I nod.

"But if he attempted suicide and you left him because he pissed you off anyway, then why go back? He can just get over it."

Mai unfortunately sees a loophole in my otherwise perfect story. "Well, there is a good reason, one that I feel I shouldn't tell of just yet."

Her eyes widen. "Oh my goodness." She gets up and slams her hands on the table. "_You're_ the pregnant girl that Tea posted about on Facebook?"

Now it's my turn to blanch. "She posted about me on Facebook?"

"Well, not exactly. She just mentioned something about organizing a baby shower for a friend and how excited she was. That's all."

I nod. "Eh, it's fine. It's been a while since I checked Facebook. It's not like no one knows at this point."

She hums. "Well, that's true." She looks very pointedly at my stomach. "Are you even showing yet, or are you just a bit chubby?"

I blush, both embarrassed and a bit peeved. "I like to think I'm showing."

She throws her hair over her shoulder. I suppose she is saving her nasty bitchiness for later. She turns to Joey. "Well, have you made dinner yet?"

He shrugs. "I made some soba with vegetables."

She makes a face. I suppose she doesn't like the ridiculous amount of sodium from the food. "Joey, I thought I told you to eat healthier." How right I am.

"But they're vegetables Mai!" Joey whines. "A man's gotta eat!"

"Yeah, sure," she giggles, "a man."

Joey scowls. "Well, then you don't get to eat."

"Oh, I'm sure I'll be eating something tonight," she winks suggestively. At this point, I realize how awful Mokuba must have felt when Seto and I discussed our love lives so openly in front of him. I want to throw up.

Oh, wait, that would just be the embryos in my uterus.

"Excuse me," is all I can say as I rush to the bathroom to vomit my face off.

xXx

Hours later, it is about twenty till midnight, and I can hear gratuitous moans and shrieks over the volume of the TV. The ancient set can hardly keep itself at its current volume and all I can hear is Joey being fucked.

There's some creaking of the bed and Mai growling and calling Joey her "bitch." Joey is whimpering and asking for more. I had no idea Joey liked to take it as equally as giving it. I feel cheated almost.

Then again, I am the one who turned tail and went straight into the arms of my ex-lover. Maybe I deserve to be punished like this.

I try putting a pillow over my head as I lie on the couch, trying to watch an episode of Pokémon. I kinda wish Seto was here, magically, so he and I could show them how it's _really_ done.

But I try to sleep so I can be fresh for work tomorrow. It's the only thing I can do.

xXx

"How long has it been?" I irately ask a nurse. The man was in an all white uniform, very Asian in style, and he peers at me through his narrow rimmed glasses.

"Kaiba-san, you've been here for only a day."

I shrug as he takes my vitals. "That's a day too long."

He agrees. "I don't think it's necessary for you to be here. I am concerned for your mental health, but I think a few sessions of therapy would deal with the worst. I think staying here may be damaging."

"Oh?" I ask, my interest piqued. "And why is that?"

"A perfectly healthy man doesn't need to be in an asylum. Look what happened during the Victorian age in England. They sent people to asylums right and left and made them maniacal." He finishes taking my blood pressure and listens to my heart. "It's insane to keep you here, but it is protocol."

"I understand, but can't you people at least do me a favor?" I hint suggestively. "I am the CEO of Kaiba Corp…"

"Kaiba-san, not even your wealth can get you out of this one. This is a government run facility."

I sigh. "It was worth a try. But don't think I've given up. I'll escape somehow."

"Sure you will," he grins in good humor. "You seem to be fine. I think I can authorize you to at least interact with fellow patients."

I snort. "That may not be the best idea."

"Oh?" Now it's his interest piqued.

"I may not be a psychopath, or the neuropath that my fiancée is, but I am a sociopath and I do not get along well with others. For your best interests and this facility's, I'd suggest keeping me here. I'll survive."

He nods. "Yes, Kaiba-san." He walks out of the room, a distinct click of metal resounds as he locks the door. I am alone in here again.

"Only one more day is left before I'm released." I lean my head against the metal headboard. "Why can't it come sooner?"

I think of how I'll enter the apartment that dog lives in and whisk Loryn away. Then I imagine all the raw, animalistic, desperate things I'll do to her body. I will treat her right, but my mind can wander in sex-deprived fantasies. I smirk involuntarily as I imagine just taking her there, in front of that dog. He'd be humiliated and galvanized.

She'd lean her body into me, allowing me to bury myself deeper into her and impale herself onto my erection. She'd arch her back, spread her legs, grab my hair and scream. Those hips would move so rhythmically with mine as we dance together the choreography of human sex. I'd rub her clit, suck her tits, and feel her body all over, forcing her to orgasm. And then, because the damage has already been done, I'd ejaculate into her so hard I'd seize. Then we'd leave the mutt's house.

My perverted fantasy brings me to reality as I feel an intense feeling of both pain and lust between my legs. I open my eyes and see a stiffy trying to rise through my pants.

Oh, Loryn, the things you've done to me.

xXx

"You know, I wouldn't be surprised if Mai cheated on you." I say to Joey as I prepare to leave for work. Mai is apparently the type to sleep in late. I eat the last of my Poptart, which is surprising to find in Japan, as Joey turns to me, a Poptart hanging out of his mouth.

"Eh?" Joey looks so confused. As he chews his food, the Poptart moves up and down, as if waving goodbye before it gets swallowed by the abyss that is Joey's mouth.

I shrug nonchalantly, not wanting to make a fuss as I nibble the last of my Poptart away. "She just doesn't seem trustworthy," I comment, a few crumbs flying from my mouth. I'm such a lady.

He shrugs, swallowing the damn thing whole. "I've known Mai for a long time. She's always been a good friend to me."

I raise an eyebrow. "I think I remember that motorcycling duelist gang from a few years back… There was an Aussie who tried to steal her away wasn't there…?"

Joey glares. "Don't mention him." I remember vaguely while I was still in Domino before I went back to Magnolia for spring break that Yugi and the gang ended up in San Francisco or San Diego in hopes of trying to save the world from evil. Again. Apparently, they had to duel against a cult… Pretty exciting I must say, but all three of the guys, and the leader who was pretty fucked up like most cult leaders, were pretty messed up. All of them had bad pasts, they were all foreigners and therefore they were easily swept away by this psychopath's lies. The Australian apparently had a violent criminal record… He was even sent to prison or something… And he totally brainwashed Mai… I wouldn't doubt if maybe he and Mai had baggage to deal with… And I'm sure they did.

I shrug this time, too easily amused. "It seems she's been tangoing with another then."

Joey tilts his head, like a dog, utterly confused. "What does tangoing have to do with anything?"

_Clearly he hasn't seen _Rent_._ "Don't worry about it. It's just an expression of sorts."

Joey ignores me, still confused. "Do you even know how to tango? Why would you mention a dance when we're talking about sex? I'm so lost…"

"JOEY! It was a reference to a Broadway play. There's a song called the 'Tango: Maureen', and it's basically about how this woman, Maureen, cheats on all her lovers." I roll my eyes. "And I don't know how to tango, but I can waltz."

"Waltz? Prove it." He narrows his eyes, challenging me. He opens his arms, as if to accept my advance.

"I'm not a pro at it, and I'm hardly good enough to be a teacher, but I suppose." I walk up to him, taking one hand in mine and placing the other on his waste. "I play the part of the man."

"WHAT?" Joey tries to pull away, but I hold on tight to him. "Why?"

"I have to lead if I'm going to teach you. It's not hard, and if you can get it, I'll let you lead."

He sighs, so defeated yet willing to learn. "Fine." He steps back into me.

"It's not overly complicated," I say as I start. "You follow to a three-step beat, so instead of the normal 1-2-3-4 kind of beat, it's a 1-2-3, 1-2-3 beat. You step with your right, if you lead," I step as I instruct him, "then rise as you step with your left," we rise, "and then step again. Then you do the whole thing again, except go in a different direction. Got it?"

Joey nods. "Ok, can I try?"

"Sure." I nod and switch my hands. He is now leading.

And, somehow, with a bit of beginner's clumsiness and natural athletic grace, Joey leads me to a perfect waltz in his head. It felt so magical and wonderful, even if he was only in boxers and I was in lose slacks and an orange blouse. His skin was warm and smooth under my hand, and I could feel the sheer power in his shoulder.

He stops. "Was that good?" We're still in formation, and he looks tenderly at me.

"Yeah, actually. Straighten your back just a tad and don't be so stiff. But really, that was really good…"

"I know you guys are just friends, but I'd appreciate if you would please take your hands off my boyfriend." Mai hisses as she walks out of the bedroom. She's wearing a simple lavender silk robe, and I'm sure she is quite naked underneath it.

Joey and I step away. I look to the ground, blushing a little as I say "I should probably get going to work then."

Joey simply says, "Yeah," when Mai grabs him from behind and starts stroking him. I turn and leave before I see his boner.

As I grab the doorknob and turn it, I feel the door being pushed by another. The door opens and in front of my eyes is the last person I'd expect to see.

"And I would appreciate if you would not address my fiancée in such a manner, Mai." Seto growls, omitting honorifics since it wasn't in his nature to begin with. The fact that he addressed her by her first name without even an honorific is insulting enough.

"Hmph, I was sure she was lying about you being her fiancée, but I'd doubt you'd lie about it so it must be true." Her hands trail up Joey's abdominals. I can tell Joey is mortified and would much rather hide in his room. He doesn't like Seto and having Seto see him in this state doesn't help much at all.

Seto smirks as he watches Mai's hand. "I never realized you were the bitch, Joey. I suppose it's fitting for a dog like you."

Joey is flabbergasted. He can't even retaliate. He pulls away from Mai, glares at Seto, and walks into his room, slamming the door.

Seto chuckles darkly. "That was hardly satisfying. I was hoping he'd at least say 'shut the fuck up, Kaiba.'" Seto mimics Joey's dialect. "Oh well." He turns to me. "Is your stuff packed?"

"Some of it is… How are you out of the hospital? I thought they wanted you to stay in an institution for a while."

He tosses his hair to the side, being the whimsical rich man he didn't want to emulate. "One of the employees pleaded over my case. He said it wasn't necessary for me to be there and I suppose he provided evidence enough to get me out. He'll soon find a nice, big check in his mailbox." He winks.

"Wow, I didn't think you could be nice like that." I giggle.

He takes my hand. "I'd do anything to be with you again. Clearly."

I nod. "Same."

"I have a mover outside, though it probably wasn't necessary."

I shake my head. "It really isn't."

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself now that we're together again." A part of me is quite shocked that Seto willingly said such sweet things openly like that. Perhaps he really has changed.

"You won't have to. I'm here now." I smile and swing his hand in mine gently, like a school girl with her first crush.

I hear Mai chuckle. "So it's true…" She flicks her hair off her shoulder.

Seto and I turn towards her. "Huh?" It's all I can manage. She's honestly a confusing woman.

Cut that. She's a woman.

"I once read a rag mag article about Kaiba having a heart. It mentioned something about underprivileged kids." She shrugs and I feel Seto shrink away. I squeeze his hand. "I always assumed it was a publicity stunt, but really, I don't think that anymore. Perhaps you aren't as bad as you lead us to believe, Kaiba."

He takes his hand away from mine. I don't question it. "What I do with my money and my life is none of your concern, Mai."

She shrugs, her robe slipping open a little. "Whatever you say, but I think it's refreshing to know that even you of all people care so much for certain people." She smirks. "I don't know you, but now I want to know more. Just what get's Kaiba's fire going…?" She looks at me. "What could a simple, American girl with no real social standing have that makes the big bad CEO weak in the knees?" She looks at us through her eye lashes. "I don't know, but I think… It's cute. You guys are like a fairy tale come true." She whisks her hair over her shoulder. Again. "The Prince and the Pauper."

I can feel Seto roll his eyes. I look at him. I wanted to say something, but honestly, I'm so happy he's with me that I don't even care. She can say what she wants. We both don't give a crap.

"Say what you will, Mai, but I assure you that social standing means nothing to me." He wraps an arm around my shoulder. "It doesn't mean anything to someone like me."

She raises her brows but keeps her eyes narrowed, a bored expression. "Someone like you? Hm, clearly there is more to you than meets the eye. I won't pry, since it doesn't concern me, but do what you will. Just have her stay away from my boyfriend."

"You mean your bitch," Seto quips.

"Sure. Same thing." She looks at me. "Go ahead and take your stuff. Leave as soon as you can. I hope you'll be gone by the time I get out of the shower." She leaves us, heading towards the bathroom.

He smirks. "Your stuff is in his room isn't it?" I nod.

"Get it before she realizes that."

I scamper off, grabbing my suitcase. Joey is hiding underneath the blankets in his bed. "You ok," I say as I turn to the door.

"I'll be fine. You better leave before Mai comes back."

I nod. "Thank you for everything Joey. You've been a good…" _Lover? Friend? Both are going to hurt._ "You've been good to me. I mean it."

"Yeah, yeah," he says, his arm emerging from the blankets. "Just go. I'll see you around."

I nod and leave.

xXx

"Well, that's it…" I say, half joking and half embarrassed that the contents of my suitcase barely fill a fourth of the closet.

Seto looks almost devastated. "What happened to all of your clothes?"

"Resale shops."

"What about your books, video games, and movies? You had a lot before you even met me."

"I let Meadow keep those because I felt no attachment to them."

He looks at me, surprised. "You gave up a lot when you left me." He looks at the corner of the closet, a giant black bag filling up the space. "What's that?"

"Art supplies."

He looks at it awhile. "Did you sell any artwork?"

"A few pieces went to some rich people at the condo I stayed at before you cancelled the card. I didn't make a lot off of them though."

He sighs. "That's a shame. You have a really nice sense of color."

"You totally did not just compliment my artwork."

In all the time I had spent with Seto, he never once said a thing about my art. He didn't have any inclinations towards any of the arts really. He simply liked to view them, rarely, but never engage in them. Complimenting a piece would mean it somehow evoked emotion. Complimenting my style meant he enjoyed it.

Seto Kaiba has a soul.

"I'm not dead, Loryn. And I'm not stupid. I studied what made art _art_ but those types of things weren't held dear to me. In fact, I was discouraged to really engage in any art. You can thank Gozaburo for that one."

"What a bastard."

"You can say that again." Seto looks at the bag, trying to decipher it. "But now that he's gone, perhaps I can finally indulge a little."

"Seto you design games and technology. You're an artist in some way."

He shrugs, stepping towards the bag. "I can simply form vectors and models using a program. It's hardly art."

"But you put your heart into it. Your company could be seen as art. You molded it into something that reflects you, something that no one has been able to match. You're like the Da Vinci of the modern world."

He laughs. He genuinely laughs. "Stop trying to stroke my ego."

"I'm not trying to… I think of you that highly." He blush and look at the carpet. Perfectly white, like this moment. No heated passion, no invading body members. Simply an exchange of words. That is far more intimate and sensual than sex can ever dream of being.

He shifts through my bag, looking at the various sketchbooks, pencil packs, and paper that somehow magically fit into it. It's like the Barney Bag of the artists' world.

"Could I…attempt to draw?" It sounded like he was asking himself more than me.

I step towards him, taking a sketchbook and pencil out of the bag and hand the items to him. "Of course you can. Anyone can attempt."

He gave me a look that said, "Go to hell, you talented bitch."

"But it takes someone special to actually create." We both look at my stomach.

"And, if creation is the case, then I'd say you were quite the artist."

He drops everything and hugs me so tightly. This moment…

_This moment is all I ever dreamed of_.

**Loved the ending. It's so tender. Sorry for any typos or mistakes. REVIEW!**


	12. Loving Regardless

**This may be the longest chapter yet. Without this intro, it stands at 5747 words. But man, this is surely the best chapter in the whole story. I won't spoil anything else. I'll let the chapter speak for itself. I do want to say thanks to all the new readers I recently received, new reviewers and old as well. I hope you all become regulars! Thank you for the ongoing support. Also, my dear friend SeptimaDesu has a cameo! Miko Hayashi, I hope to write yours in too! I know I keep saying, "It'll be this chapter! No, the next one!" but I promise it is coming! And I hope you'll love it. I have it all planned, now I just need to write it...**

**Also, this story is still in the middle of June, unless indicated otherwise. I'm probably going to take this story month by month, so that way she won't be barely pregnant one minute and giving birth the next. Pregnancy is a journey and one that I shouldn't skip as an author.**

Chapter 11 Loving Regardless

"So I think for Halloween this year, I want to be a zombie prostitute."

Seto closes his book, _Lolita_ by Vladimir Nabokov. I had recommended it to him a few days ago, since it was just the type of literature I liked: Intelligent, yet offensive. Controversial, yet humble. He hasn't said he is enjoying it, but he's already three-quarters of the way through, so he must like it.

"And why in the name of Nietzsche do you want to be that, of all things, for Halloween?" He flicks his bangs out of his eyes, staring at me so analytically.

"What, you don't think I'd make a good undead nightwalker?" I pull the blankets back and plop down, my back killing me from all the standing I did today in the booth. I had recorded for the anime for nearly seven hours and standing while talking in a dark booth can actually be quite exhausting.

"Well, for one thing, by the time October 31 rolls around, you'll be approximately four months pregnant, and with triplets in your body you'll be the size of east Texas."

I stare at him indignantly. "That's so rude…! I'm from east Texas!"

"The truth is cold, my dear." He pulls the book from his nightstand, intent on reading it some more. I scoot closer to him, reading over his shoulder.

"_I said nothing. I pushed her softness back into the room and went in after her. I ripped her shirt off. I unzipped the rest of her. I tore off her sandals. Wildly, I pursued the shadow of her infidelity; but the scent I traveled upon was so slight as to be practically undistinguishable from a madman's fancy."_

"I liken you to Lolita," Seto murmured, already turning the page. The little blurb I read was on page 228, hardly halfway down the page. Seto had skills that even I dream to match.

"I don't know whether to be insulted, flattered or amused," I drawl as I turn away. "Please tell how I am like Lolita."

"From what I know of you, you were quite a precocious child, you're highly sexual though you claim not to be, and your situation is not entirely unlike hers."

"Again, elaborate."

He sighs, still reading. "You could say I have you trapped under my spell. Whether you stay with me out of fear or love or simply need is up to you, but regardless, you cannot leave me, or, if you try, you just come back. Lolita, from what I've read, tries to leave a few times, but she always returns to Humbert, probably because not only does he fulfill her sexually, but he is the one constant male presence in her life and we all know how little girls cling to a male presence." He turns the page, still comprehending the text while speaking so thoughtfully. It's like he can split his brain to do two separate things.

I fall back against the pillows, tired and in need of sleep. "Hmmm, you seem to understand the book well."

"My favorite author is Nietzsche, Loryn. This well-written is smut is nothing."

I scoff at his derision. "Lolita is not smut. Nabokov was a literary genius who managed to weave a tale so tragically controversial yet so heartbreaking. He brings to light the inner psyche of a pedophile, the seduction of a nymphet, and manages to keep his reader engaged without insulting said reader. I've never read a book so engaging, let alone a classical piece so engaging. I wish this was the stuff we got to read in school." I stare at him, hoping he'd understand that the book is more than what the controversy says it is.

He rolls his eyes, as he shuts the book again. "Okay, so it isn't smut. I'm just saying for something so erotic, it certainly is a piece to try and figure out."

I sit up, incensed again. "But it isn't erotica either! That's the beauty of it."

He places the book on the nightstand and turns to me. He shuts me up with a kiss. "Go to bed."

I shake my head. "I'm not even all that tired."

"You're a working woman pregnant with triplets. You should be exhausted."

I shake my head again. "I'm not. If anything, I just feel more excited."

xXx

I look at her, curious about that. Loryn loved to sleep, and could be incredibly lazy. Hearing that she was energetic, at night when I know she is working hard all while pregnant, really surprises me.

"Well if you're so energetic then maybe…"

She stops me. "We're not engaging in sex. Not while I'm pregnant."

I scoff, a bit insulted. "You fucked _Wheeler_."

"That was before I knew I was pregnant. Afterwards I was like, 'GTFO Joey.'"

It's literally been days since she was last with Joey. I'm almost sickened knowing she was with another man, and that, for now, he of all people was the last one she was with. "How could you sleep with him…?"

She shrugs. "I'm kinda shocked about it myself. When I think about it, knowing that I'm committed to stay with you forever, I feel so awful about it, like I cheated. But when it first happened… I don't know… A part of me was hoping that maybe he could somehow replace the hole in my heart where you once were. After a while it kinda did. But once I found out I was pregnant, and I knew it was with your kids, I knew that Joey and I couldn't last. If I had stayed and never told you, I think it would come out eventually, especially if the kids picked up your physical traits. It would have broken us apart. But honestly, if you had never attempted suicide, I would have taken the secret to my grave and just lived on, even if it left me as only half the person that I am. I would have stayed with Joey just so I wouldn't have to keep moving from man to man."

I stare at her, shocked by this confession. I don't know whether I should be insulted that she wouldn't have told me or glad that she did when my life was in jeopardy. I suppose her true feelings came out thanks to my suicidal bout.

"Frankly, I think you should sleep with me right now, because I don't want the last thing invading our kids' space to be _his_ dick. It seems so disgusting to me. It's especially sad that you only confessed your sin because of my attempt at leaving this world," I say, only mildly cold.

"I didn't think it was such a big deal. I just wanted a constant presence in my life. If I went back to you without provocation, it would make me seem all the more awful," she argued back. She could be so selfish sometimes.

"Your provocation would have been the pregnancy. You _knew_ they were my kids." It was simple; Loryn got pregnant and left when she shouldn't have. Joey could just get over that he wasn't going to be her baby daddy.

She sighs. "I couldn't just come home to Joey and say, 'Well, I found out the reason I've been sick is because I'm pregnant and just to clarify, they're not yours. I gotta go.' I thought Joey and I could have raised them together, and I'd leave this drama behind."

I look at her like she's stupid. Sometimes I feel like she simply hasn't grown up enough to handle adult situations. I'm most likely to be partially right; we _did_ just graduate high school. "That was a stupid notion. Triplets are incredibly hard to care for, being that they are three times the trouble that _one_ baby is." I glare. "You and Joey's salary wouldn't have been able to pay for that amount of caring involved, and your best option would have been to immediately tell me, then Joey, so I'd have your back, and then come home to me. Drama over."

She rolls her eyes like a surly teenager, which she still technically is. "The drama would have hardly been over. Joey would have been furious and would have fought you for me. He'd probably be in denial and claim he was the better choice because he loved me more and would still love me and the kids, even if they weren't his own. That's just how Joey is. I think your scenario would be worse because it would have broken Joey."

I snort. "I think he's broken regardless. His slut of a girlfriend just came back right when you leave him, and now he has to figure out how to get over you while she's engaging all sorts of things to him. He's only halfway in that relationship, I guarantee it. In my scenario, he would just be alone temporarily and as soon as Mai came back, he would be happy again."

She counters with, "But what you're saying is Mai would be the rebound. I was the first rebound and then Mai is the new one? That's not fair to her."

"It doesn't have to be," I offer. "She was a bitch to you and would deserve it."

She just shrugs her shoulders, tired of the arguing at this point. It was more of a debate anyway. "Maybe she was, but I would hate to be the reason that Joey only sees her as a rebound. I mean, I was his first rebound, because he really did love Mai, but I'd hate to leave that kind of energy only for Mai to be the victim of it. Perhaps Joey really does love me, or loved or whatever, but he's with Mai now, and I don't want to be a reason why they end up breaking up."

I harrumph. "Well, even if you are, there isn't a thing he can do about it, because you're with me now. He can just go cry in a corner."

"Whatever. This is starting to get confusing and I think we're taking this way too seriously. What's done is done, I'm tired of it, and I just want to live my life. Now please, if you will, continue reading _Lolita_."

She leans over to her side and pulls out a book from her nightstand. It appears to be some romance novel, entitled _The Wrong Embrace_ and it has what appears to be two men in a forbidden embrace, just like the title implies. Of course, one could be just a manly female. I can't really tell. The author's name is only a single word: Septima. Clearly it's a pen name.

"Are you reading…smut?"

She looks at me and blushes. "…yes."

"Where did you find that? Why are you reading it? Are you that deprived?"

"I found it on the ground outside of the bookstore and just took it home. It's quite engrossing really."

My eyes could be saucers at this point, I'm so shocked. "You took home that book like it was a stray kitten? What is wrong with you?"

"I suppose many things, since I did sleep with you, absorbed your sperm and developed your children and then left you and slept with someone you consider below par and your nemesis. I think we have already established that all is not well in Nottingham." She turns back to reading her book.

"Is this how you get your jollies? I mean, you could have this," I gesture to myself, "but you would rather read gay porn?"

She chuckles lightly to herself. "I do find it more satisfying actually. Perhaps I just romanticize a tad too much. Real sex kinda sucks compared to fantasy sex."

I roll my eyes. "Sometimes you're too much of a feminist."

"I hardly consider that statement a feminist statement."

I continue reading her infernal recommendation. "Well whatever. When you start screaming my name, you'll change your mind."

"We'll see."

We turn to each other. "I missed you."

She smiles. "I missed you too, dear."

xXx

"So… We're still getting married right?"

Seto turns around, ready to leave for work. He's wearing a light blue suit that somehow softens his features and brings out his eyes. A silver tie clings tightly to his shirt collar, black as coal. Seto is too good for clip-ons.

"Of course," he states, slipping on his shoes. "Why wouldn't we?" It always astonishes me how Seto could be so simple. He is so innocent at times.

"Oh, well, I wanted to make sure." I twiddle my thumbs and bounce on my toes. "I mean, it would look bad that the CEO of a major corporation didn't marry his pregnant girlfriend…"

He sighs. "The wedding is taking place one week from today. I was going to get you after work so we could speak to a planner. I don't see why you're apprehensive about it…"

My eyes widen. "I'm still not sure how a wedding could be planned so quickly… I thought you knew why I'm so apprehensive…"

"Loryn, come now, the wedding will be small. Just our family and friends." He rolls his eyes. "I refuse to simply sign a marriage certificate before a judge and witness. I'm better than that." He narrows his eyes. "I still don't know. Why _are _you so apprehensive?"

"The pregnancy. I'm afraid that when the media gets wind of my pregnancy-"

"_Our _pregnancy."

"Whatever. I'm just worried they'll blow it out of proportion and make me look like a skank. Or trash your rep."

He chuckles. "You _are_ a skank. You had sex when you were 15 years old, ditched your fiancé, slept with another man who was still technically in another relationship, and then went back to your old lover. _And_ you conceived said old lover's children. You're hardly a sweet, innocent girl." He chuckles again, a little harder this time, and ruffles my hair affectionately. "But you're _my_ skank. My reputation means nothing if it doesn't have you in it. Maybe now they'll stop ragging on me to get a girlfriend and I won't be Domino's most eligible bachelor. I _look_ _forward_ to the media's reaction."

Sometimes, Seto's reactions surprise me. He's always up to something new, always sniping me with a quip, always bantering with me. I missed it so much. I had always expected our wedding to be a really quick and small affair, but it seems that he really wants it to be special. Despite the rude comment on my level of skankery, I'm touched that Seto isn't worried about the public's reaction. It doesn't lessen my anxiety because I'm so new. I'm green. The media could eat me alive.

But then again, I always did manage to push someone's buttons. I could handle that, so I could handle this.

"One more thing."

"Yes, skank?" He smirks.

"Can I design my own dress?"

He rolls his eyes. "I have all the money you could dream of, enough to buy you wedding dresses for a lifetime, and you insist on making your own?"

I nod my head enthusiastically.

"Fine."

I jump up, so happy. "Oh, oh, one more-"

"Just shut up and let me go," he grabs me, holds me in a one-armed hug. "Honestly, you're more of my ward than my wife. You skank."

I look up at him, chin on his chest. "I'm not your wife yet, silly!"

"Well, whatever." He kisses me. "I love you very much."

"Too much?"

"Oui," he winks.

I laugh. "Je t'aime aussi."

"A tout á l'heure." He kisses my forehead and departs.

xXx

Nervousness. Trepidation. Worry. These are emotions not indicative of me. I am not sure why this apprehensiveness is stealing my nerves, but I do know that I do not like it.

Our wedding, though hastily planned, is surprisingly elaborate, yet simple. It takes place in my background garden. In the pews sits family and friends. Because I know that no one will be sitting on the groom's side since I have no family and consider almost no one to be my friend, we allowed people to pick and choose their own seats. There aren't many people to begin with. It's a small affair.

In the pews sits Loryn's family. There is her mother, dressed in a navy blue dress that somehow looks strange on her. Then there is her dad who is in a simple grey suit. He looks surprisingly well though. He cleans up nicely. Loryn's mother is interacting with Yugi, Tea, Joey, and Tristan, asking them how they know Loryn and what they think. The woman is awfully loud. I'm simply glad she hasn't yelled anything about the pregnancy… If she even knows.

There is a few of my staff that I like, such as Roland and Sayuri. I'm sure Sayuri felt surprised to be invited. Pegasus somehow crashed the wedding before it even began and I was prevented from kicking him out by his gregarious nature. He is still infuriating. He is talking to Sayuri, gushing on how he loves weddings and will probably bawl. Sayuri looks petrified. I'll be sure to give her a raise. Roland is sitting next to Loryn's parents and Sayuri is doing her best to be amongst the Japanese speakers. They are going to serve as interpreters since most in the audience speak Japanese and a handful speak English. Roland will translate to the English speakers any Japanese, and Sayuri will translate to the Japanese speakers any English. Fortunately, it seems that of the English speakers, only Loryn's parents are the ones who are not bilingual. However, most of the Japanese natives can only speak so much English, except in the case of Yugi's grandpa from what I understand.

The Ishtars are here, Ishizu smiling in approval at me. Her brother is holding the hand of that kid Ryou. Marik is so flamboyantly gay it is disconcerting. Odion is stoic, but he seems pleased to be here. Joey's little sister is here as is Mai, though I am not sure why. She is a bitch. Duke, the Hawkins, Yugi's grandfather and a girl whom I do not know yet apparently is a former roommate of Loryn's are all here, waiting patiently for the ceremony to start.

Mokuba is on my left, since I am facing the crowd, inspecting them and silently judging them. He is my best man, according to the Western custom. Loryn and I both opted to have one person each, mostly because I couldn't see myself saying, "Hey, Joey, wanna be my groomsman?" It isn't going to happen. Also, since it is so small, we didn't want to step on anyone's toes. Therefore, there are no bridesmaids or groomsmen. There is only one best man and one maid of honor.

The bridal march starts. Everyone holds their breath. Meadow, looking quite elegant in a Western-infused yukata, proceeds first. But when Loryn comes out, my breath hitches.

She looks glorious.

Loryn wanted an Asian-infused Western style wedding, though nothing too big. Therefore, she needed to design her own dress because she…is weird like that. The dress consists of a low front, though not scandalously low, and I knew the bodice is supposed to fit tightly around her waist and then bellow into a full skirt, much like Cinderella's dress. Of course, Loryn can't have that, since she's pregnant. To hide her growing stomach, though it is merely a small bump, she wore a traditional obi around her waist. A typical kimono and obi were not meant to show off skin. In fact, the modesty in the garments was to be seen as provocative, since as soon as the geisha showed just a small amount of wrist, it would drive the men wild. An obi was not meant to hug tightly around the woman's waist and show off her petite body. It was made to be even more modest. It works to perfection. No one could tell she is pregnant. She has sleeves gripping the upper portion of her arms and they billow out like a traditional kimono's would. Her shoulders, collar bone and back are bare. There is an extra layer above the main skirt that holds a more traditional kimono feel, since it is a rich red with golden leaf designs embroidered. The sleeves do as well, but the obi… It is black with a dragon embroidered into it skillfully. The white of the dress, the Cinderella part, has red designs on it as well. Her hair was recently cut and straightened, and a hairpiece, very Asian in style, holds a bit of hair out of her face. It has dried sakura blossoms on it, and even a piece of bamboo. Her lips are as red as a geisha's but she is far more stunning. She may not have sewn the dress herself, but she certainly designed quite a beauty.

This is going to be my wife, and I couldn't be more excited.

As for myself, I kept with the traditional tuxedo: black, to correspond with her obi. But underneath I wear a traditional Asian shirt that manages to not clash with the Western tuxedo. On it a dragon is also embroidered, though mine is more of a Western dragon, strikingly similar to the BEWD, compared to her _long_ or _ryu_. It's a bit eclectic for even my taste, but I think it looks rather good. Loryn has an eye for things I thought not imaginable.

She walks down the aisle so gracefully, which I know is hard for her. She is wearing some sort of Asian style flats that cover the entirety of her feet, except for the top and are golden in color.

She stands next to me, very composed, but the sakura on her hair piece trembles so slightly. The girl is nervous and is probably about to explode into tears.

I never quite understood what was to be so nerve-wracking about weddings. If it's planned and you know you want to be together then why be nervous? It's what you want right?

But I suppose, though some psychologists say we are monogamous, humans still want that last chance of freedom and polygamy before being placed in a seemingly forever partnership.

The justice of the peace begins his little speech, and finally he gets to the part where we say our own vows. I memorized mine but I wonder for Loryn's.

I go first, as indicated by him.

"Loryn," I begin, my voice shaking slightly, in my native tongue. I must at least emulate confidence. "We have been through an enormous amount of incidents in the brief amount of time we've known each other. From the day I met you four years ago when you were hit by my limousine," some laughter interrupts me, "to that point when I thought you were stalking me, to that moment when you thought your sister was kidnapped, to these last few weeks, I cannot begin to fathom what I truly want to say. You mean so much to me, surprisingly enough, because I would never imagine me, of all people, to be the type to allow myself to be open in front of someone who was not my brother. However," and I look directly in her eyes, "you are that one person that I know I can never live without. _You_ came to me broken, but you left _me_ broken. I understand we may not always get along, but I want you to know that I am committed to making you happy and staying by your side. I will always care for you, I will always take care of you, and I will always love you. Eternally." I pause to take a few more breaths. Someone applauds assuming that's the end. It was probably Wheeler. "You are my first love and to me, it means you're my only love. You've gotten under my skin, and I'm afraid you'll never get out." I smile gently, unusual for me, but then again, a wedding is unusual for me. "This is permanent. Whatever life throws at us, wherever life takes us, I know we can get through it. We love each other too much to just throw it all away. You are mine, and I vow that I will never stop loving you." I stop, awaiting her words. Finally, the real applause breaks through.

Loryn, I know, is the type that can get emotional in such situations. But she isn't a crier. But the tears in her eyes, those eyes that shine through with such jubilance and love, tell me otherwise. She might start bawling.

"Seto," she says, her voice equally as shaky as mine was a moment ago, also in her native tongue. "When I told you I wanted to write my own vows, I almost regretted that choice because I didn't know what to say at first. I was never good with speaking my words, but then I thought, 'Hey, I'm a decent writer. Maybe I can just treat this like a performance.' But then I thought that wouldn't be nearly as honest as I am trying to be right now." She pauses after that very quickly said bit of words, clearly nervous. I squeeze her hand. "I don't think there are enough words to express how much I love you and why I even love you. You make me crazy sometimes, but I can't help it. You mean so, so, _so_ very much to me. You accepted all my quirks…my very blatant advances, and you were one of the very few I could spar words with…" She takes a breath and I can hear how she's holding back the tears. "You are my intellectual and emotional equal, and I am probably too excited and nervous about our steps together into the future. I know we've been through good times and bad, but I think the fact that we came back together shows so much more than the words that came out instead." Tears slip out. "I don't even know why I'm nervous because I am so confident in our love…I thought of all the times when I wasn't with you and thought maybe I would just forget everything. But… I was wrong. You are the rock in my life that will always stay strong and keep me safe from treacherous waters. I know we'll be fine, and I'm so excited to be able to take this step in my life with you, since I never thought I would actually take this step." Her mother laughs. We all know about Loryn's rather bland love life before she met me. "I'm excited that we'll start a family together and I am so glad you are the one I'm with. I know you'll be a good husband and I know you'll be a good father and I… I.." She is physically shaking now. "I know I must compose myself and be the mature wife you need me to be. Seto," she says, far more confident now. "I love you so much it hurts and I want you to know that I am yours eternally. I will never stray from you again." She nods her head slowly, indicating she's done, and the whole place erupts into applause.

Finally, after my moments-ago fiancée's near breakdown, it is time to honor the parents. This is the Asian portion of the ceremony itself. We each take some time to give a small speech about our parents.

Unfortunately, I am indicated to go first again.

I sigh, knowing this may destroy the happy mood we just established. I turn to the audience anyway. Speaking flawless Japanese, I begin."I know my parents are not here. I wish they could be, but unfortunately, where life is kind in some forms," I indicate to Loryn and Mokuba, "it is also cruel in some forms." I bow my head down, to respect my parents' deaths. "My mother died giving birth to my brother, and my father died in a car accident. I grew up for a portion of my life in an orphanage alongside my brother. Then, I was adopted by Gozaburo Kaiba. I wish him no kindness in his death. He left me with many scars to bear." I pause, letting the audience mull over this. "I simply wish to honor my birth parents and to let them know that, if they are spirits who can hear me, I am fine, I am thankful for their never-ending love and compassion and can only hope that they can look down on me on this earth and be proud. I can only wonder if they even approve of my choice in a wife," I grin at Loryn, knowing she knows I'm playing with her, "but I am confident that they would have adored her. I loved my parents and I still honor their birthdays in private and I hope that wherever they are, be it angels in the sky or wandering spirits or reincarnated souls, they will protect us with their blessing."

A quiet applause ensues, since this was a somber speech. After all, I'm an orphan and it's quite upsetting to talk about one's dead parents in front of a crowd. I'm surprised I even bothered with the speech. Mokuba looks like he's about to wail now.

But I am trying this new thing where I'm not hiding behind any facades. I want to be honest, especially for Loryn's sake. She's carrying my children after all. This is the least I can do.

The man marrying us indicates Loryn's turn. She turns to her parents in the audience, speaking English in her light voice. "I wanted to let my parents know that I am so thankful for their support and that they gave me such a wonderful childhood. Even though in recent years we feuded and such, they are still here, so that lets me know that as their kid, they still love me, even though we all went through hell. I know they may think I'm foolish for getting married young, but I am glad that they finally understand that I'm a big girl now and can look after me knowing I'll be fine. I want to honor my mother especially because phone calls to her, while I was here in Japan and she was in America, really comforted me when I was going through a tough time. I want to thank my dad for trying to be the constant male in my life. I know we have our issues but I am glad that he can overlook them and be here to watch me be handed into the hands of another man. Thank you both for making me the person I am today." More applause. Loryn's speech was especially hard for her, because I know there were many things she could and couldn't say. Perhaps they were good to her when she was a small child, but they were downright cruel to her in her teenage years. However, her past is behind her now.

"And now, time for guest speeches," says the justice of the peace. This is an opportunity for guests to express well wishes. It could go wrong with Wheeler in the pews.

Her family stands up first. "Loryn," her mother says, "we love you dearly and we wish you the best. I know you and trying to talk you out of marriage was nearly impossible but I know you're in good hands. I hope you'll be happy with each other." She bursts into tears. The family sits down. That's fine. Her dad would probably threaten me anyway.

Tea and Yugi stand. "When I first heard you were dating Kaiba, I was quite shocked," says Tea. "But you two fit together so well that it can be almost scary. I'll never forget the time in high school when we did our research paper together and you and Kaiba were arguing. Your fights, though they were probably severe to you, were humorous to watch. I wish you the best of luck." Tea sits down. Yugi begins with, "Kaiba." I brace myself. "I am so glad you found someone to be happy with. I never thought you would be able to accept someone so willingly, but I am glad you have Loryn in your life. Allowing yourself to have at least one friend will open your eyes in ways you didn't think possible. I won't wish you happiness; I know you will both attain it together." He smiles and sits down.

Solomon Mutou says Loryn is an extraordinary girl and deserves to be as happy as possible. The Ishtars send gentle well wishes, Ishizu being the polite one, Marik saying Loryn better call him if there's any juicy gossip, and Odion wishing us the best. Ryou says he's so glad we're taking this step together.

Mokuba pipes up with, "Seto, Loryn, you both fit each other so well and I'm so excited to be a part of this. Seto, I never thought you'd ever get with a girl, but I am so glad Loryn came into our life. She's made you into a better man."

Meadow clears her throat and says, "Sister, Seto, you've both gave me the opportunity to meet Mokuba and make new friends. I'm honored to be here and seeing you two together gives me hope for other couples. You have a beautiful relationship, a real relationship, and I know you two can work out any kinks along the way."

No one else stands which is fine with me. I hope the mutt will keep his trap shut. He glares at me and nods in my direction. I assume it was his blessing.

We both nod to the justice of the peace. "With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Loryn and I look each other in the eye. I lean in as she tilts her head up. Our lips join so innocently, yet there is so much unbridled passion behind it, waiting to be unleashed.

In retrospect, I never thought I'd get married. I didn't think I was the type. Now, though, I can't see myself without this birdbrain. We come apart and she looks like she might cry again. I might too, honestly.

We grasp hands, smile, and walk down the aisle together. Our first steps as husband and wife can only lead to one hell of an adventure.

**Please review. This is my favorite chapter.**


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